The World We Once Knew

4 - The World We Once Lost

I stand there shocked, my mouth dry and void of any words that could express everything coursing through me. How could this happen? I thought they were safe, I thought they could protect themselves. It's as if my brain refuses to believe anything that's happened today. I mean I know these mutants things are roaming the halls, I know that I saw girl being torn apart, I know that my entire class is dead but I haven't accepted it, for some reason I still expect to leave this room laughing this entire thing off and then show up to school tomorrow to have a completely normal day. I can't even muster up a tear, not a single tear for all these people who accepted even though I had no clue what to do, all these people who never judged no matter how annoying or weird I could be, all these amazing people are dead and my pathetic self can't even up one measly tear.

What's wrong with me? I should be on the floor crying my eyes out but instead I just feel numb, this empty void filling my entire body. Their faces take over my mind trying desperately to convince me that this isn't just some figment of my imagination but it's no use.

This can't be real

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the sobs echoing off the walls around me, I turn back to see Ash leaned back against the wall, his eyes red and puffy while tears run down his face. I can't even begin to imagine what hell he must be going through right now, me and Luke had only known these people for a year or so but Ash... He had grown up with them, probably known some of them since Nursery, and he had to watch them die before his eyes, watch them get torn apart, watch the life drain from their eyes and trust me when I say that nobody and I mean nobody in this world should have to experience such a horrific thing. Once again I'm absorbed in my own thoughts to even think about how the people around me might be feeling, how could I have not noticed that something was wrong before? I guess I wasn't the only pretending that everything was fine, It seem like both of them were doing a pretty good job of it as well.

"There's nothing you could've done" I notice Luke standing there trying desperately to calm him down but to no avail, I try to help as well, saying anything I can think of to comfort him but it's as if he's completely shut down and I can't blame him either, it seems like he's been bottling up his emotions for much longer than I have. I wish I could somehow help him, it seems almost unnatural for someone so upbeat and happy to be this upset and there's nothing I can do to help. As I stare at him, his amber eyes filled with unimaginable pain and his dark hair falling roughly around his face, I think to myself

Why did I ever ask him?

I could have just left it alone, I should have realized that it was a touchy subject, but I didn't and now I'm paying the price, what could I even say that would make this any better? I doubt that some cliché phrases like 'it's all going to be ok' or 'they're in a better place now' will work but what else could I say, deep down I know that nothing I say will make him feel better because at the end of the day words can't bring back the dead.

We all stand there in silence for what seems like an eternity slumped up against the walls with our heavy breaths being the only thing keeping me grounded to reality I start to think, when did life get so complicated? Was I just supposed to stand here and accept that the world's gone to crap? Well screw that, it's not going to be that easy to break me. I push myself off the wall and turn around so I'm facing the other two, I try to stand tall so I seem more confident.

"Are we gonna just stand here and take this? Wait here for those monsters to come in to eat us as well? We might not have been able to save our class but you know what we can do, we can make their death mean something, we're the only ones left now so we're not just living for ourselves anymore, we're living for everyone else. So, I don't know about you but I'm gonna go out there and show those things that even though they think they've won, they haven't beaten me yet" That speech sounded a lot more inspirational in my head. Disappointed that I couldn't do anything to help I look up and to my surprise they're both staring at me with unreadable expressions before they morph into smiles and now when I look into Ash's eyes I no longer see despair and defeat, I now see determination at something I thought I'd never see again, I see hope.