I watch the hot South Carolina sun beat down against the back of her neck as she picks the boil of cotton from the stem. The fields are far from the house, but today I have retired to the Bar closer to the fields with my father. The large window lets me watch her closely, memorizing every curve of her face. I swirl the glass of top dollar scotch. The faint mumbling in the background doesn't bother me, for I am too lost gazing at her and her untouched beauty. "Joseph! Boy are you listening!" My father yells, pulling a cigar out of his mouth for a brief moment before rattling on about The War. His voice becomes quiet as I begin analyzing her. The setting sun casts a coppery glow on her shoulders. I take a slow sip of my drink, and my father's hand clap the back of my head. "Dumb Boy, We have to defeat the Union! Those dirty pigs!" He swallows the rest of his drink and slams it down on the tray one of the servants are holding. I drink the rest and also set it on the tray. I adjust my suit as we head back out and up to the Manor. We enter the house and head pass the den. Mother is sitting drinking tea with the rest of the Fine Ladies Club or whatever fundraiser club she has created to help the war efforts. We head upstairs to the office and as we pass Classica one of the house servants, she stops sweeping and bows her head. Father pushes her to the side, and she grips the door frame for balance. Father lays out large parchment paper and some ink, "Classica, call in David" She nods and hurries off.
David rushes in, his slick blonde hair in a mess. "Yes sir?" He says holding a handful of quills and parchment.
I run my fingertips over the rough spines of the books lining the shelves in Father's office. Plenty of books here to make could a scholars lifetime. Books of poetry and deep thoughtful literature, although Father does not read, I like to spend my time in here or the large library down stairs. Dealing with the war efforts is tiresome and leaves me weak in the brain, lusting for the words of Herman Melville or Walt Whittman. At last I haven't been able to read as much in here because of Father, plus the painstaking fact that I told father last summer I would stop reading and find myself a wife. I leave the office to go to my room on the third floor. I enter my room and open the deep brown chest at the foot of my bed, and take out my bird book. I take a deep breath of the old worn leather. I walk down the stairs and pass Father's office where he is still rattling off, and then back down to the ground floor. Classica follows me to the front door and grabs my coat.
As I head out the dust of the road settles to reveal that someone has just arrived. The blue floral coach gives it away, it is only Evangeline Schmit. She steps out of the coach and brushes her dress off. "Good Day Joseph" she does a little curtsy, her green eyes never losing eye contact. "Wonderful weather we are having isn't it?" she smiles. Evangeline is very beautiful but Evangeline is not the most beautiful thing in the world. It is her, the field worker, Lenra.
"Yes Evangeline beautiful weather" I sigh, waving Tómas for the coach.
She brings her fan out and lets out a dramatic sigh, "Oh, how I wish I could be as beautiful as this weather?" I can feel her gaze for some kind of compliment.
"Yes I do too" I realize that not giving into her compliments doesn't mean I have to be some kind of Union Jack. "I am so sorry Evangeline, I didn't mean to come off like that" Her eyes narrow and she shoves me aside and goes into the house. I brush my brown hair out of my face, and walk to the coach. As I carry on to the other side with the door, I see Lenra. "I need a servant to come with me to the city" I quickly say. Tómas nods. "Go get that one walking" He nods again, and jogs to catch up with her. He starts to bring her close, and for the first time I can see her up close.
I open the coach for her, and she reluctantly gets in. "Sir may I ask where we are going" she timidly speaks, but then remembers her place and bows lower.
"To the city, Lenra" I say flipping through the pages of my bird book. It is a little dark when we enter the city but the lanterns provide enough light to get to the stores. I give a basket to Lenra and she follows closely behind. I walk into the book store, Wilbur's bookstore to be precise. "Good Night Wilbur? I do hope you have my orders?" I chuckle while leaning on the counter. Wilbur turns around, smiling a toothless smile, and reaches under the desk to pull out a wrapped package. I take the books and set them in the basket. We keep heading down the street, which is lively and full of laughter. Men outside the tavern signing, well more or less mumbling. I dip into the bakery, and pick up pastries. We keep walking, the city at night is most likely something Lenra has never seen, she has probably never been off our dreaded plantation. Noises call me to the front where a horse is going out of control. The animals is jump up pulling on its reigns, until finally it breaks free. Full speed the horse run onto the side street, I push Lenra out on the way into an alleyway. She is breathing heavy and stays silent. We are so close together I can feel her warmth compared to mine. I should kiss her, this might be the only chance I get, ever. I lay my lips down, and the first thought in my head is, Disgusting. I pull away, she is more stunned than I am. I push off of her and head out to collect the fallen items. She lingers in the alley, I call to her, and we keep going as if nothing happened. Now Lenra is walking closer almost beside me. When we get back, I handed her a pastry and say goodnight. I drag myself up the stairs to my room.
Months go by and almost every Saturday I bring Lenra to the city, and sometimes against my own conscience I kiss her behind the bank. We arrive in the city and we begin walking she walks beside me. I think about how I told her that I loved her. I can see a goofy smile on her face.
"Joe?" I hear a smooth voice, and I turn around.
"Mr. Schmit" I held out my hand and he shook it. "I thought you were still in Mississippi?" I laughed. From what I heard Mr. Schmit was supposed to stay in Mississippi until the end of the war.
"Well I've got to come back to see who you pick, your father sent me a letter saying that my Evangeline had a very good chance" he tightened his tie. I feel the heat of embarrassment light up my body, like I've been put in the bread oven, or on the sun. "If you don't pick her, then may I suggest Miss Goivanna?" He winks
"Ha!" I laugh nervously "Giovanna is also your daughter Mr. Schmit"
"Pick?" I can hear from behind me. I turn to Lenra. She looks at me in the eyes. "What do you mean pick?" her big brown eyes beg.
"Teach your help some manners!" Mr. Schmit waves for me to do something. I think about what would happen if I don't. Father would be ashamed, I would lose my inheritance, and I would be shunned for being a n-. I pick my hand up and in a full speed attack, I can feel the pain whiz through my palm. Lenra holds her face, and tears stream down from her eyes. She pulls her hood up and steps back, where she thinks she belongs.
We get back to the Plantation, I catch up to her. "Lenra! Look I'm sorry. I-" I can feel the return of favors.
"Don't talk to me ever again." she spits and marches off to her cabin. When I lay down in my bed, I can't get that look out of my head, the look of betrayal. If it was different, if only she wasn't black, but I can't be with her. I close my eyes, and I can feel a wet streak fall down my face.
