november finds me lost
in the newly descending fog
and in my head
as I spend unending hours on the left side of my bed.
november strokes my back and suppresses a smile
as I purge all new hope of new beginnings and miraculous futures.
but let november freeze all these long gone deadlines,
miscommunicated words and misunderstood friendships,
as I walk barefoot on chilly concrete.
even if the blood in my brain leaks out of my ears and all my veins burn,
even if I never, never ever learn,
I will know that this isn't where it ends.
a perpetual whisper under maroon covers will remind me.
my baby has the key to this gold cage I lock myself in some days.
even if all the castles I tried to build this november fall
I know he'll be here again next month and the next and the next and the next
to help me begin again.
