Obsession [s.m]

thirteen

-Shawn-

I wanted tonight to be perfect. I want this to go somewhere and I want to love Marie better than her shitty ex-boyfriend. I made a reservation at the best restaurant in Italy and after dinner we are going to walk around taking our own personal tour talking about whatever we want.
Marie and I held hands the entire walk to the restaurant and we got there just in time.

"Shawn. This place is too fancy, you didn't-"

"I didn't, you're right. I wanted to"

Her cheeks got bright red and she squeezed my hand to show me she was happy.

"Hi I have a reservation for Tribbiani."

"Tribbiani? Like Joey from friends?"

"Exactly like Joey from friends."

"Why?"

"So no one see's that it's under my name. So i use Joey Tribbiani."

"Smart."

"Hello i'll be your waitress today, sorry for my poor english."

"No need to worry!"

"If you will follow me this way."

We followed behind the very kind women and we could both feels eyes on us as our hands were still interlocked from the walk. She showed us our table and before Marie could grab her chair I beat her to it and pushed it out and back in for her.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

"You know...Your mom raised you well. You're such a gentleman."

"Thank you, i'm sure she'd love to hear that."

"She has. Many times."

"By you specifically?"

"No-Well I did tell her she did a good job raising you but there's no doubt she's heard it from others."

"She'll appreciate that."

"Sorry to interrupt- Can I start you off with some drinks?"

"I'll have a red wine."

"Me as well please."

"Okay, i'll be back."

"You know, my mom really likes you."

"She's met me like twice, how?"

"She said you bring out a different side of me. I much happier one, then I told her we weren't dating and she told me to make sure I don't fuck up let you go."

"You're bold for being able to say this stuff to me. It's so sweet and kind and you're so upfront with your feelings. I could never, i'm too scared to get hurt."

"Why is that?"

"All my past boyfriends hurt me. And i've seen my friends get hurt."

"I-I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. Really."

"Sorry if this is personal but have you ever had a first love? Like a real one?"

"I did-Well I thought I did anyway."

"What happened?"

"We were in our sophomore year of high school. I had liked him for a really long time, his name was Luke. He went to a different school so the only times we saw each other were on the weekends or week days when we didn't have after school things. I trusted him...A lot...He was very quiet and somewhat awkward around people but anything he said was funny...hilarious actually. Anyway it took a little while before we even kissed each other so the relationship was going quite slow until one day we were in his basement and his mom asked us to come upstairs because she was going to the store and never wanted us in the basement when no one was home for obvious reasons. Luke and I went upstairs and sat on the couch for about 5 minutes until he grabbed my arm and brought me upstairs. When he brought me upstairs he locked his bedroom door and sat me on his bed. I asked what was going on and before I knew it he was trying to take my shirt off. I stopped him because I wasn't exactly sure why he suddenly wanted me naked and asked why he's doing this without asking or discussing it with me. He then grabbed my arm as tightly as he could, pinned me to the bed and said "I want you now. I'm the only virgin in my friend group and I don't care if you want this or not. Its happening, so accept the fact your boyfriend finally wants to fuck you." Luke was a lot stronger than me, the second he got above me I was powerless. I accepted it because he was my boyfriend and it was going to happen at some point but the next time we were together he only wanted to have sex with me. When I finally told him I don't want to fuck all the time because it's tiring and I want a more heart to heart relationship he broke up with me and told all his friends that I basically threw myself at him."

"Marie...I don't know what to say...I'm-I'm so sorry."

"Eh it's whatever now but suck ass way to lose my virginity."

"I bet..."

"What about you? First love?"

"Well yes...but we never got together. I loved her for a while actually. Wrote songs about her, had a "relationship" just to forget about her. She liked me for a while but I was young and stupid and didn't realize and by the time I wanted her she moved on."

"What held you back from telling her?"

"Boyfriend."

"She still has one?"

"No."

"So tell her."

"I don't love her anymore."

"You do. You never opened up about it to her. Never had closure."

"I promise you Marie. I don't love her anymore, she's just a friend."

"Who?"

"Who's the girl?"

"Yeah, I told you the name of my guy. Who's the girl?"

"Uh-I've never told anyone this."

"You don't have to."

"It's-Ca-Camila."

"Oh."

"Don't be jealous or feel weird. I promise the feelings are gone."

"Oh...O-Ok."

"Marie-"

"I have to use the restroom, excuse me a second."

"Marie!"

Damnit. I shouldn't have told her. She knows we're close but I want to be with her. I want to be with Marie. I ruined this whole night.
She came back with a red face and stuffy nose.

"Hey...Babe..."

"Hi."

"Are uh- you okay?"

"Fine."

"Are you going to finish your pasta or do you wanna leave?"

"Leave."

"Oh- Okay."

She got up from her chair pushed it in before I could do it for her and waited outside for me to pay the check.

"Ready?"

"mhm."

I tried to grab her hand but she crossed them as I tried to grab one.

"Marie. Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Doing this!" I motioned her body.

"Doing what? Waking!?"

"Marie..." My voice got very soft and gentle to try and calm hers down.

"Shawn. You love her. The whole world knows that."
"We have history. That's in the past, she's nothing more to me than a friend. Like a sister really."
"How do I know you're not lying? And I end up getting hurt if I fall for you."

"I will not hurt you. I promised you this."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me- No. Swear to me that you don't love her and i'm not wasting my time."

I stared her dead in the eyes.

"Marie. I swear to you that I don't love her and I can promise you that you are not wasting your time."

"You can't though. You can't promise that."

"Let me show you. Please give us a chance."

"I'll think about it."

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Honestly...I just wanna go back to the hotel."

"Oh - Okay."