The King's Cursed Bride

Abandoned: Part 6

Author's Note: I was showing my little sister the comments from the last chapter. She found this meme for me, and I thought some of you might be able to relate... ;)

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Fire crackled in the silence as Elon denied her a response, denied her answers. She finally glanced at him and found his gaze already on her.

His eyes were dark with pain. Yet how could he truly be sincere? He obviously didn't regret his actions. Given that he had foresight, he couldn't. He had knowingly allowed this to happen, so what right did he have to feel grief?

"Carissa. I never abandon my people."

Choked laughter escaped her suddenly tight throat. "Is that so? I didn't see you anywhere when they were being slaughtered. When mothers clung to their babes until they were cut down. When men defended their families until they were beheaded. When children screamed until they were silenced."

"I left you with them, Carissa." He stared out across the fire, the bright flames contrasting with the dark in his eyes. "As my queen, you're my representative. And you were with them."

She couldn't even begin to understand the tangle of emotions his words incited. Shame that she was supposed to be their protector and had failed. Anger that he would foist this responsibility onto her while he ran from it. Grief. Confusion. Regret.

Once she felt the emotions settle in her chest, from frothing waves to undulating ripples, she spoke, "That is hardly fair, Elon. And if you didn't abandon the people, then you certainly abandoned me." She hoped he could feel the burn of her stare, hoped it would draw his gaze back to hers. "If the people had me, then I had no one."

"I'm always with you, Carissa. Our bond is too strong to let mere distance disrupt it. Or anything, for that matter." When his hand curled around hers, she tried to jerk away, but he held fast. He lifted up their joined hands, letting the firelight snake around the gold of her wedding ring.

The ring had grown hot when a Reaper had been about to cut her down. But what good had it done? It hadn't stopped the slaughter of their people. Grief tore through her chest, leaving a raw, bloody emptiness in its wake.

Elon dropped her hand and touched a gash on her shoulder. "You're hurt. There's a stream near—"

"No." She met Elon's gaze and found it filled with more hurt than surprise. "These people didn't get healing. Why should I?"

Elon flinched. "Carissa, don't do this to yourself. It may seem satisfying to deny me right now, as angry and hurt as you are, but I won't pay the price for this. You will. You're only hurting yourself."

She turned away to stare at the flames. It feasted as much on the bodies as on the wood, and the smell of roasting flesh made her stomach churn. Elon was right, of course. He was always right. Except when he'd allowed an entire caravan to be murdered.

Simply looking at him made pain and resentment churn within her. She didn't want to think of what his touch would do—especially the intimate touch that would be required to heal her fully.

Her legs had begun trembling again. She would need rest soon. And healing. Carissa set her jaw. The healing could wait. In a twisted way, the pain was almost satisfying. She couldn't die alongside the villagers, but she could still suffer some of what they'd endured in their last moments.

"Carissa?" He grasped her elbow, likely noticing how she trembled.

It took everything within her not to jerk away from him. Not only would it seem childish, but as tired as she was she feared she'd stumble. And that would give Elon an opportunity to be her savior once more and sweep her off her feet.

She hated her weakness. She hated needing him.

"I don't want you to heal me, Elon. I want you to leave."

His touch vanished without her even having to move. "Carissa, you don't mean—"

"I assure you that I've never meant something so sincerely."

His ensuing silence brought a grim sort of satisfaction. Maybe he finally felt a portion of all the pain he'd caused.

He stepped nearer. "Carissa. I love you. No matter how bitter or angry you are, I'll always love you."

She didn't want to hear his professions of love; she wanted answers for what had happened.

She opened her mouth to tell him so, but he spoke before she could, "And I'm sorry I can't give you the answers you want. But I can tell you this: there are worse things in this world than suffering and death."

Carissa shook her head. What greater evil was there than suffering and death? Especially that of innocents? But she didn't reply. It felt like chains had been wrapped around her heart, the weight of them tempting her to fall to the ground's embrace once more.

When she glanced to her left, she found him staring at the pyre, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. The sight brought another wave of agony and confusion. How could someone so powerful and, supposedly, so loving allow his own people to die?

She stared back at the fire, the flames branding her vision. Perhaps he hadn't truly known what would happen. Perhaps he wouldn't have been able to prevent it. But she rejected both excuses on his behalf. Judging from his behavior and warnings prior, he had most definitely known. And he could have done a number of things to prevent this catastrophe.

He could have killed that traitorous man before he'd escaped. He could have had the caravan members take a different route. He could have set up a trap for the Reapers. The lives of these people could have been spared by a number strategies. Yet he'd done nothing.

He had once said that he didn't interfere because he didn't want to infringe on anyone's choices. Because if he took away one's right to choose, he took away one's right to love.

But Elon did intervene. He had chosen to rescue Kybelle and Lyron. He had saved both herself and Lila from Akar. He'd defended Mera from the wolves. In fact, he'd killed entire wolf packs for the sake of the very people he'd allowed to die. Why in some instances did he choose to intervene and in others he simply watched?

When no answers were forthcoming, she glanced to the left again, at the man in question.

He wasn't there.

Elon had truly abandoned her. This time, at her own request.

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Author's Note: The sneak peek is up!