After The Wedding

Part 3

 It was three days later. Tim Stantheferd and Patty should have returned by now. Nigel was outside the airport, waiting for their call. He knew they should've arrived at the airport an hour ago.

"Where could they be?" he fused "I hope they didn't find a yummy cake and eat it without me. I would be so sad..."

From what he knew, the "wedding" went well. He saw pictures on Facebook of happy pictures of Tim Stantheferd's family with the "newlyweds". Strangely, his fiance never once contacted Nigel once during the past three days. Nigel brushed it off, It MUST because to keep up the guise of the wedding.

At last, the rat's phone rang. It was none other then Tim Stantheferd.

"Dear!" screamed Nigel. "Ive been waiting for you!"

Without a pause, the aardvark stated flatly, "I haven't."

"Wha- what do you mean?"

"I don't love you anymore Nigel Von Claire St Helen Ratburn."

Nigel was in shock. How could this be. Only his mother used all six of his names!

"Now dear!" Nigel rawred, "Explain yourself."

"Things have changed," said Tim Stantheferd. " I've fallen in love with Patty. We have decided to cease our old lives and live together happy under democrtaic socialism in the Scadinvaian countries (although these aren't technically socialist countries, indeed, they have some of the most capitalistic policies in the world, it is only a buzzword excuse made by socialists in the USA like Bernie Sanders, but that is little of importance now). A lot has changed in the past three days. Patty has shown me a new light."

Nigel sputtered like an illiterate woman from Guam, " But! This can't be! YOU'RE GAY!"

Although Nigel couldn't see this, Tim Standtheferd nodded. "I know, but that won't be a problem for long. Your "brother" is transiting. In fact, Pat will be making his transition surgery this Friday."

"Goddammit! This worse than you eating cake without me!"

"Oh babe, you said we're not doing that right now?" And with that, Tim Stantheferd ended the call with a click.

Now, one may believe Nigel had nothing left to live for. His husband ran away with his brother/sister, he's a fucking 40 year old thrird grade teacher, and he had an incurable cancer with only 2 years left to live (although he was unware of the second fact). But Nigel knew he had nothing he had nothing left to live for and he knew it, so he thought he should die in the only way he saw fit.

He ordered himself 5,643,189,076,218 cakes from Servanti's bakery and ate himself to death. The police found his deceased body the next morning. Although he sadly passed away, Mr. Ratburn did win the Guinness book of world records for most cakes eaten by a rat. He ate two and a half.

The End