Unforgivable: Calum Hood Fanfiction

I Forgive You

        I forgive you.

        I can’t comprehend why I even forgive you in the first place. Oh God. Why should I, after the nightmare you put me through? Perhaps its because I am still in love with you, with every fiber of my being, despite your betrayal. But honestly, it wasn’t all bad. You were just doing me a favor. From what I’ve heard about myself, I deserve to die. Everything about me is undesirable to anyone with eyes or precise judgement but I’ve just wanted to be everything that I’m not. And I finally am who I’ve always wanted to be.

        Dead.

        Gone.

        Out of everyone’s pretty little lives.

        The memories of course had the nerve to plant itself into the depths of my mind. Unfortunately, they’re still there, and still as clear as the moment they happened.

        Are you familiar with that myth about death? There are hundreds but right now, I’m talking about those few seconds before you know you’re going to die, that are spent with your entire life flashing before your eyes. Well, it’s true. While it could be thrilling and strongly desired to a blind eye, it’s not as pleasing as it could be perceived. Relived in a matter of seconds, the moments I wish so badly that I could relive, regardless of what’s happened, I would still go back to that day. The day we met, when my clumsy feet led me straight into your muscular arms.

        Our short conversation, a brief ‘friendly’ hug, and then you leaving me with your number, sloppily scribbled onto a tissue. Our first date at the movies but mostly making out in the back row. It started raining as we almost left the theater. You grabbed my waist, pulled me outside, despite my complaints about getting wet.

        “I’ll protect you,” you said. “But I really wanna do this. Haven’t you ever seen those corny Nicholas Sparks movies?”

        We danced and kissed for hours in the rain, just being idiotic and playful together. I suppose that was when I realised how hopelessly in love with you I was.

        It was such a magical night, but then we both ruined it. Because then came the moment that made my life come crashing down.

        Then came the memories of the fight.