The Only Reason

Opening Up

Niall and i walked toward the couch. The boys looked at us with smirks. I started to fell a little uncomfortable, but i shook it off. We all sat scrunched together on the couch. Louis turned on Spongebob and we dug into the KFC. We watched the episode where Spongebob is trying to get in the Slaty Splatoon, but keeps getting sent to Weenie Hut Jr's. About halfway into the episode, A voice spoke up. "That'll be you in that situation, lad," Niall said to Harry. The rest of the boys laughed histerically. As did i. Harry just sat there awkwardly, smirking. We continued with our Spongebob marathon, and devoured the rest of the chicken.  I didn't like to eat in front of people, especially around guys. I ate quite a lot of chicken, i'm surprised the boys didn't judge me on it. We must have watched 15 episodes of Spongebob. Watching tv with the boys was different than watching tv alone. They had hilarious commentary on eveything. From 'that's what she said' jokes to just laughing til' they stop breathing for a moment. "Stella Rose!" I heard a voice call out. I knew it was Niall, beacause he's the only one who calls me 'Stella Rose', and his adorable as hell irish accent. I quickly turn to him and watch him run to the room. Zayn pauses the tv and we all wait for him. He came back second later, with him holding something behind his back. He stood in front of me, still not showing his hands.

"I forgot to give these to you, love. I got them when i heard you broke your foot..." Niall said, revealing a bouqet of a dozen red roses. "R-roses," i reply, reaching out for them. "That's what i was named after.. Or at least, my middle name," i replied, smelling the beautiful bouqet. I smiled at Niall, then went to put them with my stuff. When i got back. I ran up to Niall and immediately kiss him, wrapping my arms around his still scarred neck. He flinched a little, from me touching his rope scar, but he kissed back and put his arms around his waist. The boys started clapping softly. "Hey, Ni, you know she's going to the next concert, right?" Liam said. Niall broke the kiss and looked at Liam. "Really?" He asked excitedly. Liam nodded and looked back at me. "Front row, cat walk," i replied. He picked me up off my feet and laid a soft kiss on my lips. He set me down gently, because of my foot, and we sat back down at the couch. It was only a week until the concert, not that long to plan. I decided to look for an outfit now, instead of last minute. I had brought the navy blue dress that Niall oh so loved, because i knew i would see him. I reminded myself not to wear it so i could save it for the concert. 

It became dark, almost time for bed. I had broought my tablet, because i'd never leave without it, especially a whole differrent country. The boys shared the bedroom, which had 2 beds in it. I turned to Niall, who was sitting next to me on the couch while the boys went to get ready for bed. "So, do y'all just share beds when you tour?" I asked. "Yeah... i know, it's kind of weird, but we're like brothers, ya know? Management actually sometimes make gay jokes, but we know they're joking," Niall responded. He let out a small giggle. I spotted his rope scar on his neck again. I still couldn't comprehend the reason why he would rather die than live without me. He spotted me looking at it. He looked down and wiped the smile off his face. "Promise me this, Stella Rose, never, ever put yourself to harm, okay?" He garbbed my hands and softly kissed them. "P-promise," i responded. I looked back down at my wrists when Niall looked away. You could still barely see the scars, but they were noticeable. I saw Niall look back. His eyes dialated, smile gone, his face full of worry. he saw my cuts. I had just opened up to Niall, without even knowing it.

"Why, Stella Rose? Why would you harm yourself lke that?" Niall got closer and grabbed my hands. He turns them around and briefly examined the scars. I reminded myself why i did. All the bullies in both middle and high school. The cyber bullies. But mostly, myself. I was my biggest bully. I would tell myself that i wasn't deserving of Niall, i wasn't pretty, skinny, funny, or tall enough. I told myself i was ugly, fat, worthless. I finally spoke up to Niall. "Cause i'm not good enough, i guess," a tear rolled down my face. Niall quickly wiped it away. "Now, love, who told you that?" he asked, holding me tight. "I-i did," i told him. "I'm my own monster," i continued. Niall held me tighter, slightly sweying me from side-to-side. "I love you so much, Stella Rose. Don't make the same mistake i did. It would defeat the purpose of these scars of mine," he let goof my hands and pointed at his scars. I nodded in agreement and wiped my remaining tears away. "Please stop, love, for me?" Niall asked, doing a ridiculously adorable puppy face. I smiled at him. "Y-yes," i replied. "How's about some tv, huh?" Niall asked, about to reach for the romote. I nodded. Once he turned it on, the news flashed on the tv. "Breaking news! Niall Horan attempts suicide?..."