He's Not My Type

14

Elijah doesn't end it.
Instead he keeps visiting Vinyl Tap. Keeps spreading out his notes on the basement sofa, keeps bending over the counter and marking up his textbooks with the old yellow highlighter from the receipts' drawer, keeps letting Christian quiz him on early years teaching strategies while he sets up sale displays across the shop.
For all that he's doing it in a record shop, Elijah's more efficient at revising than he's ever been, and most days makes it all the way through the daily revision schedules he makes for himself. If Christian teasing him with suggestive touches and then refusing to kiss him until he's through with the day's schedule has anything to do with it - well.
Well, when Elijah finds himself pressed up against Christian's lean, warm body, snogging him behind the listening booth, it's all worth it.
It's two days before Elijah's last exam and it's many weeks now since he's met Christian and they haven't done more than kiss and occasionally grind against each other. But kissing Christian is brilliant.
Kissing Christian is everything.
Like right now, when Christian's lips are soft from Elijah's chapstick and he tastes like the Dr Pepper they've just shared and his fingers are pressed over his pulse in Elijah's neck.
Elijah circles his arms around Christian's hips, pulling them closer together, giving him a hint of friction when their crotches line up. He kisses down to his neck, breathing in. Christian smells a little bit like Mayfair cigarettes and a little bit like sunshine.
"You feel so good, H," Christian murmurs. Because, unless Christian's mouth is occupied, he's always saying things like that. Things that make Elijah want more and more.
Without giving them explicit permission, Elijah finds his hands drifting down to Christian's arse. He's wearing his black skinnies today and he fills them out so well.
"Sorry," Elijah says when he realizes what he's doing. Maybe if Christian's body hadn't been so bloody perfect, Elijah wouldn't hesitate so much. But probably everyone Christian has ever been with has been obsessed with his arse.
"Sorry?" Christian repeats.
Elijah, to his embarrassment, finds that he hasn't actually removed his hands. So he lets them drop down and says, "I didn't mean to."
Christian pulls back to meet his eyes, looking confused. "Babe, are you apologizing for touching me?"
"I mean," Elijah tries to speak.
"You can," Christian tells him. He takes Elijah's hands in his, rubbing his thumbs down the sides of his palms. "You can touch me anywhere you want."
"Yeah?"
The corner of Christian's mouth lifts into a smile and he reaches down to place both of Elijah's hands directly back where they had been over his arse.
Elijah grips the curve of his bum reflexively, inhaling sharply. He doesn't understand why he feels this way. He's never been that preoccupied with anyone else's arse before. But now he can barely think.
Especially when Christian pulls him in closer and he can feel that, yeah, even through two layers of denim, he's unmistakably hard, just as turned on as Elijah is.
"You like this?"
Christian cups Elijah's cheek and presses their lips together. He barely pulls away to say, "I do. You always feel so good, H."
"Yeah?" Elijah is pleased enough, distracted enough that he finally blurts out, "But you like, um, bum stuff, though?"
Christian giggles. It's not mean, but Elijah still feels a flush coming to his cheeks at how horribly awkward he is.
"Course I do," Christian tells him.
Elijah bites his lip, embarrassment taken over by disappointment. He knew, though. He knew that.
"What about you, babe? What do you like?" Christian asks softly.
There is utterly no chance Christian isn't expecting him to say he likes to top. Even if he hadn't surely suspected it from the first time he'd seen Elijah, the way he can't keep his hands off Christian's bum today must surely seem like proof.
But Elijah's not a top. Beyond an occasional curiosity, he's never even considered being one. But now that he's confirmed that it's what Christian likes -
He suddenly, desperately wants to be what he's not. He wants for just a moment to live in a world in which he liked casual sex like Christian does. And a world in which he could be a proper top and he could be with Christian, make it good for him, and have it not shatter his own heart into pieces when it ended in the morning.
He wants to be with Christian so badly right now. If he's honest with himself, he's probably wanted that every day starting with the day he met him.
But, for all that he might be willing to try it, Elijah would certainly be shit at topping. And, more than that, he knows he can't have casual sex.
"H? Are you alright?" Christian's voice cuts through his thoughts. Elijah realizes he must have been silent for a while. He places his hands back on Christian's waist. Safer territory.
"Yeah." Elijah doesn't meet his eyes. Fuck. He really does have to end this. "Yeah, I'm fine."