The Fangirl Next Door - h.s

Chapter 28: keep the drinks coming.

A/N: Heathers outfit, you guys, this fanfic is coming to an end soon and it's so crazy to me. Thank y'all so much for reading!!! Also buckle up because things are gonna get wild(:

I sit backstage, my head in my hand in boredom as Harry and Heather pose on a blank wall for photos for instagram. Aaron is behind the cell phone snapping photos like no other, getting down for angles, acting like a stupid girl at a festival, taking photos for her best friend.
    "Alright now give me a kiss, a small one on his cheek Heather." He instructs, but Harry's eyes travel right to me.
    "She puts her lips on my boyfriend and she won't fucking have lips." I yell across the room, hardly having enough energy to do so. Harry has made the effort to come home earlier this week, but that doesn't meet I have slept. My mind goes wild when he's laying by my side, mostly because now that he's phycially close to me, we still feel worlds apart mentally.
    "It's not like it's real." Heather argues, her tone snapping at me.
    "My foot up your ass is going to feel real if you don't step away now." I stand up and Harry separates himself from Heather, walking to me and placing his hands on my shoulders.
    "Hey, calm down. I love you, I love how protective you get, you're the best girlfriend, but you shouldn't have to sit here and watch this. Go find the other boys, hangout with Liam, I'll be done in a second." He instructs. I glare up at him and he just smiles down at me, the same dopey smile plastered to his face, he acts like there's nothing wrong, he walks like there's nothing wrong, fuck I hate this. He leans forward, kissing my forehead, then lifts my chin up with his pointer finger, kissing my lips. "I won't be long I promise." He tells me again and I walk away from everyone, keeping my arms crossed over my chest. He makes my world so complicated, and I wish I could just breathe right now.
I almost turn to the right, towards the snack room with the other boys, but the door to the outside is calling my name so I turn left instead, feeling the sun hit my skin as I walk out. I walk through the rows of vans, the area is enclosed from the public, but I can still hear the fans.
    "Lucy! Lucy!" I look around, my hair whipping behind me as I continue to turn. "Over here!" I look to my right and see some fans stood on a fence post. I look towards them and then around me, wondering if anyone is watching. "Please! We want a picture!" They call, and I take one last look around, running up, my skirt bouncing as I do. I jump up on the rocks, and pull myself by the fence, standing on the edge.
    "Hey girls! What are your names?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ear.
    "I'm Tamara, and this is Mae." The taller girl speaks to me and I smile.
    "Well it's nice to meet both of you! Let's get that picture yea?" I ask and they smile, holding their phone out, snapping some selfies as I put my arms around the two of them. "You both look beautiful. I'm guessing you're here for the show?" I ask both of them.
    "Yes, we love One Direction, and we love your videos, last week's was so good. You doing what you do is so cool. I was so shocked we saw you! We didn't know you were still touring with them!" The shorter girl tells me.
    "Oh yea, I'm here on business so I'm not out or with them much." I point back to the venue when I lie, hoping I'm making it believable.
    "So you're really friends with them? Like you're close with all of them?" The tall girl asks, her voice so excited, and it's weird being talked to like this, it's almost like they look at me like I'm One Direction myself.
    "Not close, I know them all though. They're just as fun as you'd think too." I lie again, knowing I'd consider all the boys as close as brothers at this point. I'm obviously closer than anything with Harry, but they can't know that.
    "You're not close with Harry?" One of the girls wiggles her eyebrows and I laugh and shake my head no.
    "He's a great guy but no, I've got my eyes on someone back at home." I lie, the biggest lie I've told. Aaron came up with that one though, earlier this week he sat me down and gave me appropriate responses to say if I was approached, and I told myself I wouldn't use any of them but here I am.
    "Oh, that's disappointing. I think you two would be cute together." The short one tells me, Mae was her name.
    "Him and Heather are really happy together, and cute, and all that good stuff." Lucy, don't be bitter, don't show them that side. They gasp and look like they saw ghost and when I turn around I see a certain curly haired boy, covering his eyes from the sun, looking around till his eyes fall on me.
    "Hey Lucy, and who are you two?" He asks noticing the two girls. I smile when I look back to them, knowing they're getting a moment with him they deserve, a moment they had wished for for years.
    "Tell him you like his hair, the other boys give him flack for that." I wink at them and they smile at me, nodding.
    "I'm Tamara!" The girl speaks.
    "And I'm Mae, Harry we love you so much!" She gushes and he approaches, jumping up to the fence just as I did.
    "I love you both, thanks for coming out tonight. Lucy they needed you for some photo thing, sent me to come find you." He lies, I know he was just searching for me, and now he's playing it off to the girls.
    "You girls enjoy the show!" I tell them and wave, walking away, back into the room I had left a few minutes before. I walk in and see Aaron and Heather, looking at her phone, scrolling through the pictures they just took.
    "Where did you go?" He asks, shoving the phone back to Heather.
    "Outside." I tell him, sitting on the couch.
    "Out- YOU WENT OUTSIDE? Landry, what the fuck?" He throws his hands up and I roll my eyes.
    "Aaron, you can't keep me hidden in the dark. Yes, I went outside, where the sun shines, and the birds chirp, you're a hobbit, don't you love going outside, and going on adventures?" I ask him.
    "This is NOT time for jokes, you little problem. Did anyone see you? Where is Harry?" He looks to the door I left open.
    "Talking to two fans, who were talking to me before, and yes I talked to fans, don't ask me. I also took a picture with them, I even mentioned her." I nod my head to Heather who is listening to the conversation.
    "You're in deep shit! Do you even have ears?" He asks, throwing his hands up.
    "Yes, they're right here." I move my hair, revealing one of my ears, knowing it was a rhetorical question, but answering anyways, knowing it'll piss him off.
    "Then why don't you use them and listen to me when I say YOU CANNOT BE SEEN! I swear to fuck you're the biggest idiot I have ever met." He turns his back to me and though his words are harsh the sting of them has dulled, I already agree with most of the things he says, all the awful hateful things, so they don't hit me as hard. He doesn't need to tell me I'm an idiot, I already know how dumb I am.
    "It's not my fault your security team failed to keep two girls away from the fence of a gated area. If I'm the idiot, why is your security failing to do their jobs?" I fire back and he groans out, Harry walking in at the same time.
    "Did you say something dumb to them. You better not have spoken her name, Harry you're supposed to hardly know her!" Aaron points at me, talking like I'm an object once more.
    "I didn't say anything. Back off." Harry shoves his chest.
    "If this is blown up by the end of the show I will have both of your heads." He points to both of us, glaring, and I roll my eyes at him, a normal occurrence. Aaron walks off and Harry sits next to me, touching my leg with his massive hand, trying to pull my attention to him, and my glare away from Aaron's back as he walks away.
"What did he say to you?" He asks, turning me to him.
"Nothing important. You should be getting ready." I look to him and give him a soft smile.
"I am ready, I'm focusing on you for now." He tells me, also smiling.
"Your focus should be on making the fans happy right now." I tell him, sightly pushing
his chest.
"That's what I'm doing isn't it?" He jokes, and though I laugh it stings a bit. It always
stings, joke or not. He claims I'm more than a fan but treats me the same. Talking to me
every now and then, seeing me whenever, nonchalant, just like his fans.
    "Go away." I tell him, pushing his chest back, and he leans in anyway, pressing his lips to my cheek.
    The show goes well and the boys come off the stage, sweaty and gross as usual considering they just performed like nobody's business. Harry runs to me first, spending these next few minutes with me, knowing he'll be leaving with Heather before the night is over. We've got the next three days off though so I know I'll have something with him, not enough, but it's something. I know Aaron will be ruining it, knocking on our door every now and again, pulling Harry away, putting him with his friend Heather, out and about, exploring cities he's been to a thousand times, cities I don't have the chance to explore because I'm too busy being hidden in my tower. After we get into the large dressing area Harry walks off, going to change into his street clothes for the night, probably another outfit that will make me feel everything I shouldn't for a man I'm not even sure loves me.
    "Stop, don't bother changing Tarzan, you're going home tonight." Aaron speaks out, walking through the door, the other boys behind him, Heather moving in too. Harry and I both turn to Aaron, confused as ever, is he being... nice? What the hell is going on? Aaron has caught the other boys attention too with his request, Heather is ignoring him, probably annoyed with him after all this time.
    "Why?" I ask, breaking the silence.
    "They are not going out tonight."He points to both Heather and Harry. "Because the two of you." He now points to Harry and I. "Have stirred up yet another problem with the fans. Those stupid girls you spoke to, are saying they think Lucy is friends with you and all the other boys, but they think she's in love with you, they think she hates Heather, and though I've gotten what I wanted, I don't like the buzz that people are saying they want Lucy to be happy. I'm not pleased with either of you." He stares at us again, and I'm so confused with this man, the girls didn't think Harry and I were together, that's what he wanted, that's what he got, but it's still not enough for him. "So you two," He now points to Heather and I. "You're going out tomorrow, a fun girls day, I don't give a fuck what you do, but you're going to have fun." I stand instantly at his words, Heather too.
    "No fucking way." I blurt out.
    "I'm not going anywhere with her." Heather whines.
    "Yes, you are. You shut up Heather, I'm paying you, do what I say. You, Larry, you will do as I say or you're going back to where you came from." He points at me.
    "Larry? I thought you hated Larry, isn't that why you made Louis and Harry stop speaking to each other so many years ago. You ruin everyones relationships because in your head you think everyone cares. No one fucking cares Aaron! I'm not going out with her!" I find myself yelling without even trying to.
    "Sit your ass down little girl. Do you want to go home? Is that what you're asking for?" He steps closer to me and I stay quiet, thinking to myself about how I should answer. Going home would be much better at this point, going home would relieve everything I am feeling, but Harry won't be home... but why do I care? He doesn't. "That's what I thought. You both will go out tomorrow, alone, and you will have fun, and you will post pictures, announcing you're with one another. Understood?" He asks both of us. Heather nods her head and I roll my eyes, standing up, and walking towards the door.
    "I'll be at the hotel. You, be ready by noon tomorrow." I point at Heather, and leave without another word, not even saying goodbye to Harry, he didn't say a word back there in my defense. I get in the car, ignoring the screaming of the fans, who all seemed to have found the gates now, and I get in the car with Carter. I scream out loud, wishing I could rip my hair out right now, but I don't. I just throw my head back and look at the ceiling.
    "Rough night?" Carters voice booms.
    "You don't even understand. Carter, how in the world could you stay employed by Aaron? You could drive for anyone, any celebrity in the whole damn world, why the hell would you stay?" I ramble, looking up at him from the backseat.
    "Why do you stay?" He asks me.
    "Because I love Harry and all the boys." I tell him, and he raises his brows and looks to me, shrugging his shoulders.
    "I have been with them for years, Aaron wasn't always this way, he was just the same as everyone else. Things got to him the way things always do with people in his world. I love the boys, they bring me joy, they put a smile on my face. They're like my sons, I couldn't just quit." He tells me, and I nod, understanding the love he feels. I've only been here less than a year and I can't bring myself to leave, he's been here for years.
He pulls up to the hotel and I grab my things, heading up. Once I'm in the room I strip my clothes, moving over and getting in a hot shower, not wanting to deal with my phone, or calls, or any people right now. This entire tour, every second I've spent here the more feeling I lose, the more of myself I lose. I used to never go a day without smiling, before all of this I never would have said an ill word to or about anyone and now I don't go a day without yelling at Aaron. I don't know who I am anymore, and I'm beginning to realize how not okay I am with it.
    "Lucky?" I turn in the shower, seeing Harry join me, his hair being pulled right from the hair tie with his large hands. "Are you okay?" He asks me, a normal question.
    "Just tired." I mumble, turning back to the water.
    "I know you better than you think I do love. I know the difference between when you're tired and when you're angry." His arms snake around my bare stomach.
    "I'm fine." I tell him, feeling bad for dragging him into this.
    "I'm sorry you have to do this, I'm sorry for all of it, it'll be over before you know it though. Heather's contract will be up soon enough." He mumbles in my ear.
    "And when the contract is up, what's going to happen then? Another contract, another thing to keep us apart?" I turn to him and he sighs with his eyes, without having made any noise at all. "This is all so much, it's all coming down on me, you're here, but I'm the one under fire while you sit here and watch." I don't raise my voice, nor get upset towards him because he doesn't deserve it.
    "Lucy, I'm doing the best I can. You don't think I've noticed how unhappy you are? You don't think it hurts me to see you act this way? It does hurt, all of it hurts, because all I wanted was for you to have the time of your life on tour with me." He mumbles, still trying to hold me to him.
    "I'm not on tour with you, nor any of you. I'm on tour with myself. The only time I smile anymore is when you're on that stage, when you're happy and carefree, other than that..." I trail off, not wanting him to know every thought I've had in my head, all the doubts about him and us, every feeling and voice that has told me to pack my shit up.
    "Other than that you're miserable? That's it, you wish you never came?" His voice is hurt, and I realize I should stop now, I should tell him what he wants to hear, give in to him or he'll leave, or he really won't love me anymore.
    "I'm not miserable. I'm sorry, uhm- let's just spend tonight together. We'll be fine, everything will be fine, okay?" I tell him and move to hug him, wrapping my arms around his body. He hesitates, but he moves his arms around me too, holding me to him.
    "You know I'd do anything for you right?" He asks me, and I nod, lying with my movements. He can say that, but that's not true and I know that, if it were true this wouldn't be happening, he wouldn't be breaking my heart without even knowing it, but no one breaks my heart like he does, and no one ever could. I love him, pain and all.
    The next day my alarm wakes me up, and I wake up next to Harry, but on the opposite side of the bed, noticing that not only tonight but every night we've separated in our unconscious, drifting from each other. I turn to him and look away, getting out of the bed so I don't wake him. When I'm in front of the mirror I put on more makeup than I have in over a week, knowing I'll be seen today, knowing I'll be posting on my own instagram. I curl the ends of my hair, realizing how long it's getting after all this time. I throw on an actual dress, my air force ones, and look at myself, actually feeling like myself again for now. There's a knock on the bathroom door and I look to it.
    "Come in." I mumble, turning back to the mirror, fixing my hair up.
    "Oh wow Lucky, you look beautiful." He eyes me from the door, leaning against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest.
    "Thank you." I give him the best smile I can, despite the fact that I look pretty to go out with Heather, the devil.
    "Just let her talk, don't say much and she'll start to be quiet. It's not as bad as you'd think." He steps forward, his fingers dancing on the counter as he inches closer.
    "I don't want to be around her as it is, spending the day with her will only make my hatred grow." I eye him through the mirror and he finally connects his hand to my skin, his fingers traveling up my hair, sending chills down my spine as he stands behind me. He holds my hip in his other hand, tilting his head down so his lips are to my ear.
    "Treat people with kindness Lucky." He whispers.
    "Treat EVERYONE with kindness Harry." I argue back, as his fingers move over the tattoo on my shoulder.
    "I love you Lucky, so much." He whispers again and I have tilted my head, letting his lips linger, his breath travel over my neck and arms. I look at our hands, one of his traveled to latch with mine as it presses to the counter. I look up to him at his words, wanting to look into his eyes.
    "Tell me again..." I ask and he holds my face, his thumb lingering on my cheek.
    "I love you Lucky." He tells me again, his eyes searching through mine just as mine are, his gaze making me feel weak, warm, and something I haven't felt in months. We share that look, and he inches forward, strands of his hair falling over his face as he does, nothing covering his eyes, glowing every moment of the day.
Every move closer my breath hitches even more, my heart continuing to beat faster, this moment here, a moment like this hasn't happened in so long, a moment where I am nervous from him, I feel like I did when we first met, when I was still the fangirl, the girl that freaked out over every little thing, the girl that thought if I spoke to him my world would fall apart, and I was right, my world has fallen apart, but before it fell he built it up so high it reached the moon and the stars that fill his eyes, the eyes that pour into me right now. He's on me now, his lips so close to mine I could catch fire right here, but before I do there's a knock on the door and he freezes. "We'll continue this later." He whispers. He presses his lips to mine quickly before releasing himself from me, and goes straight for the door.
    "You said to be ready by noon, and I've been out here waiting for ten minutes." Heather is on the other side of the door, her arms crossed over her boobs, which are pouring out of her dress. I don't say anything as I sling my bag over my shoulder and walk towards the door that Harry is leaned against. "You look good." She speaks out.
    "Thank you, your dress is cute." I return the nice comment, wanting her to feel comfortable, knowing she hates this just as much as I do.
    "Oh I wasn't talking to you." She smiles a fake smile at me, then she looks to Harry, giving him those stupid fucking eyes. I glare at her, not on purpose, at this point this is just my face towards her. I begin to step out of the door but Harry's hand wraps around mine, pulling me back.
    "Wait, one for the road." He mumbles, smiling as he leans forward, kissing me. I know he's doing this for me, doing it so I know he doesn't care about her words, but a kiss isn't enough, telling her off would be better, it would mean more, because this kiss won't last all day, his words bouncing in her head will. I pull away, waving him goodbye, moving into an unknown city, with a person who I've spent the last three months with that's still more of a stranger than a friend. We both walk with our arms crossed as we get into the elevator and I unfold my arms, letting them hit my sides, and I look to her with a sigh.
    "Put a smile on your face, and take your arms down, we are supposed to be friends remember?" I ask her, hating this more as the time passes.
    "I'm a great actress, so no matter how nice I am, don't think we're friends, because we never will be, no matter how nice you are." She bitches, and I roll my eyes.
    "I have friends, I don't need you Heather. Either way, if this doesn't go the way your little boyfriend wants it to, you stop getting paid, and I'm sent back home to be broken hearted, so we both need this, get your shit together, and put your game face on, bestie." I loop my arm around hers as the door opens. We walk together like this, the sun hitting our skin as we walk down the street.
    "We're not together anymore... By the way." she tells me as we unloop our arms and walk together. She does look good, the black dress looks nice against her fake tanned skin. We are very opposite, she's everything I'm not. She's tall, a model, she's hot as hell, dark and mysterious. I'm cute, and girly, not anything like her, I'm about as intimidating as a mouse.
    "And why is that? Did you get tired of never finishing during sex?" I fire and cover my mouth quickly, wondering when my brain decided it was okay to say these things out loud. I blame Cora. Heather is laughing though, only slightly but she laughed nevertheless.
    "I got tired of how he treated me like a play toy, because I'm not, even though my job might show you otherwise, I don't like to be played with." She tells me, and I do feel a bit of sorrow for her, only a miniscule amount, but it's there.
    "I would have gotten tired of him too, well I am tired of him, horribly, and utterly tired of him." I tell her and she shrugs.
    "Well you can't blame him, he wants your hot boyfriend to have a hot girlfriend." She motions to herself.
    "Well me liking you couldn't last too long now could it?" I ask her, returning the same snarky tone, today is going to be a long day.
    Hours later and we are sat upon a ledge, looking upon South Africa, a place far more beautiful than I ever thought it would be, and we're both holding drinks in our hands, knowing that'll be the only way we'll get through the rest of this agonizingly slow day. I do more than sip, I down my drink in a matter of seconds, flagging our waitress over to drink more. This side cafe on the mountain is like a breath of fresh air, at least I can look out at the view and not Heather.
    "Stay right there, like you are, let me take a picture." Heather speaks, her having already had a handful of drinks. I do as she says, letting her take a picture of me, and I smile, giving her a few faces, that way I've got options.
    "Alright now give me the phone, let me post." I tell her, and take it quickly. I size the picture, not bothering to put on a filter, tagging South Africa as the location. Now to ham up this caption for Aaron.
    "Day in SA with @heatherrrayner, keep the drinks coming!"