Delicate (Under major editing )

Chapter four: Towards the dreams

Heyya everyone , finally we got our Rae on line and soo Niall would be introduced , who's excited ? Lol... so anyway enjoy the chapter ;)

P.S: Now it is year 2013 and Rae is 18.

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*Rae's P.O.V*

As I was sitting on the edge of a rock by the sea , cool breeze hit my hair.

I sighed.

How long should I bear all if these shits ? Past years have been vulnerable. My life is a living hell ! And even today its the same . Would it be same for the rest of my life , like forever ? Forever hated , forever bullied , forever loathed , forever tormented , forever invisible ???

No oe in this world cares about me . I am the most worthless piece of shit ever born . Why was I even brought to this world ? To deserve all of this ? But what did I even do to deserve all of this ? My own mother loathes me , what could be more worse than this ?

I let out a heavy sigh.

I guess this is my life , the way I got to suffer ; forever . Forever .

I turned my head up , with eyes watery , towards the sky .

Thanks for everything you gave me Jesus !

Just then something caught my eyes ; those were two seagulls soaring high up in the sky . Seagulls were my favorite birds yet I hated them. They had that one thing for which i've been craving the most ; freedom. Freedom from hatred , negligence , torture . Freedom from all of this !

I want to go to a far away land and live there forever ; happily . A place where I dont have to see all of these people . A place where I dont have to bear all of these .

But is it possible ?

My hands clutched the scholarship papers in my hand. I eyed them. 'University of Oxford' it read.

I've got a scholarship in the Oxford but would anyone be with me in this ? Would they support me ? Atleast dad ?

I sighed again.

I got up and started walking back home . My pace was too slow yet my mind kept racing . The only thought which dominated my brain was ,' Will dad support me ?' Would he take this stand ? Would he ? I really wanted him to ,more like I needed him to and I hoped that he would...... Dad had seen it all . Hope.....

I kept on walking with all these thoughts in my head . Suddenly a black SUV car stopped in front of me . That car was familiar. The window rolled down.

'Dad?' I was taken aback.

'Hey kiddo' he said cheerfully. 'Step in.'

It felt quite comfortable when I was with Dad . Dad , my only shoulder to cry on.  There was music playing in the car so a conversation wasnt started. However , I knew that a conversation had to be started .

'D-d-d-dad ?' I asked. I was scared . What if his answer was no ? Everything would end. Everything........

Dad was a little surprised , I presume. He turned off the music and turned to me , ' Yes Rae.'

I didnt know how to say it , ' I've got a scholarship from University of Oxford , and umm,,, I wanna go , can  I ?'

He looked confused.

'Be more specific please.'

I have to make it clear to him. So i begun , ' See , I have got a chance to go to England , in Oxford . I had applied scholarship and it worked out. Dad , I really want to go there . I am tired of being here and facing these things. And I am scared to make any move. Dad , I want to be able to overcome my fear . I want to express myself , freely . I wanna be like a... seagull ; free . Free to talk , free to laugh , free to do anything I want to . And I could never be the person I wanna be here in Vegas . I want to go out there and live my life . Live my life without fear , without problems , without pain , without sorrow. But d-d-dad , but for this I need your support , down ?'

Now, it all got down to this moment . I swallowed nervously . Dad kept thinking for a while . His face held an unreadable expression. This was scaring me out of skins. I wanted , no , I needed him to be down for it.

'Okay' he said , giving me a small smile.

'Really ?'

'Yes !'

'But what about mom ?'

He tensed up.

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                        - Jen and Stella