MIN || BTS 8TH MEMBER

predebut struggles (w/ hoseok)

[january, 2012]

"no no no it's all wrong! what do i have to do with you, minjee ? is it too difficult to do this simple, basic, move?"
my dance teacher looks down at me with one of the many mad looks that i received in the last two hours of dance training.
i've never danced before, i don't even know how to move my body...what was he expecting from me? was he expecting that an underground rapper like me could come here and do splits and pirouettes like a professional dancer?

"look at me when i talk to you, minjee."
i lift up my face to look at him, anger in his eyes.
i don't even have the courage to blame him for my failure. we've been here for more than two hours today and i've messed up even the most simple moves.
i am really trying my best, don't get me wrong. i've tried to put my body and soul in learning how to dance, but i don't seem to improve.

"do you really want to become an idol or you want to do it all only to become famous or rich? do you have passion for music?"
"look, it is not like this, i'm trying my bes-"
"just answer my question. do you really want to become an idol?"
"yes. i want to become an idol."
"so try to put at least one percent of effort in what you do. nobody will care about your rapping if on stage you will look like a hippo."
"i will try my best, i will work hard."

_____

[one hour later]

"NO NO- NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
you know what?
i give up. i don't want to waste my time here with you. i've never seen anyone dancing as bad as you before. you should stop dreaming about becoming an idol: just give up and do something else. you are ridiculous."
my dance teacher leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

i sat down on the dance floor and wiped away the sweat on my forehead and the little tears that were forming in my eyes.
an idol: what was i thinking? was i really thinking that i could succeed in this?
i'm just a loser. i was trying to reach an impossible goal.
i am nobody, and i will be nobody.

i get up and quickly grab my stuff, but in the moment when i'm about to leave the dance room, the door suddenly opens.

"HI HELLO AM I LATE FOR THE TRAINING-"
i lift up my face to see a sweaty young boy looking at me with full-opened eyes.
he is probably not much older then me. his black hair are covered by a big hat with an "LA" decorations at the front.
he probably has run very fast to come here, considering the little drops of sweats that cover his forehead and the heavy breath he has.

"ehm...where are the others? is the training already over?"
"at what time should you have the training?" i question him, hoping that he will not notice my red eyes.
"saturday, at five o'clock pm!"
"i think that you got confused, today it is friday, not saturday."

"OH MY- THAT'S TRUE! AHH i run so fast for nothing ahah. by the way, i'm so dumb" he says, scratching his arm in embarrassment "what's your name?"
"my name is kim minjee, what's yours?"
"my name is smile hoya! oh, actually that's the name i use when i dance, my real name is jung hoseok, it's a pleasure to meet you minjee."

that guy, jung hoseok, has a really nice smile, it seems to create an heart with his mouth whenever he smiles...cute. i can't help but smile as well only by looking at it.

"why are you here all alone, minjee?"
"ahh that's a long story...i guess i'm just gonna leave now, the room is booked for another hour, you can stay there and practice if you want to."

"aah don't worry, i have plenty of time...if you want to, you can tell me what happened, you look sad and your eyes are red, did you cry?" he asks me "you can speak informally if you are more comfortable like that."