« Kumo » || Eijiro Kirishima

|A Voicemail and "I Love You"|

[Edited: 7/13/19]

chapter fifteen:
|A Voicemail and "I Love You"|
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Himawari's POV

Panic wormed its way into my chest as I jogged out the door. My book bag hung loosely on one arm as my knuckles knocked together in a act of soothing. I always had strange ways of dealing with anxiety and panic attacks—knuckle knocking, biting my nails, biting my lip, biting my knuckles, shuffling my feet, shifting my eyes, clicking my teeth, shaking my leg, rambling without pausing—if I were to list them all I'd be here all day.

I made my way home, not caring if I was meant to go back to school. Knocking on the door, I bit my nails, waiting for my mother to answer the door, it was around her break.

She opened the door, surprised to see me, covered in red stains and dry tears.

"Hima...what happened?..." she trailed off, looking me up and down as she lead me inside.

"I'm feeling very sick and I was being clumsy and I just needed to lay down and so I came home and-"

My mom stopped my rambled mess with a hug, bringing my head down to her chest. She pet my head in a loving way, kissing the top of it. She was always so strict. It almost made me forget about this side of her. The soft, loving, gentle side of her.

"Should I stay home from work?" She asked, my head still in her arms.

I lifted my head up, "Don't be silly, Mama. I can take care of myself, besides you need to work, and you can't just skip your job to take care of me, I mean.." I stopped myself short.

There I go, rambling again.

"I'll be okay til you and Papa get home," I said, smiling softly and she nodded, kissing my cheek.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I love you."

"I love you too, Mama."

And with that, she walked out the door. Making my way to my room, I threw my bag on the ground harshly, collapsing on my bed. I bursted into a fit of tears, tearing off my tie and kicking off my shoes.

"Damn school, damn students, damn everything!" I hated having to keep this a secret.

I knew everyone at that school hated me. It was a clear given that they did. Still, I didn't think anyone would ever pull shit like that, not even them.

I could deal with pointing.

I could deal with staring.

Hell! I could deal with what Tomodachi pulled!

But this! This was wayyyy too far.

I wanted to change my clothes, but I couldn't. I had no energy, no motivation, so I laid on my bed, bawling my eyes out until I fell asleep, tears rolling down on my already tear-caked cheeks.

🕸

I meant to sleep a maximum three hours, but I woke up six hours later, my face drenched in dry streams. I looked up at the ceiling mindlessly. I was drained of all the energy I had left.