My Possessive Alpha

I Feel Empty

I feel so lonely so empty I can't feel anything I touch my belly and feel nothing no movement I can't hear her little heart beat anymore just why me and why my baby she's so innocent I named her Malia I think it's a beautiful name. Tristan still hasn't let me see her to be truthful I'm quite glad he didn't because I don't think I would be able to handle it. Since the incident In the hospital me and Tristan have barley spoken since I left the hospital I locked my self in a room and haven't come out I do miss him a lot. I feel like I've lost everything I'm heart broken why is life so cruel.

Is it true what they say the wicked live longer because recently I feel like it's true I must be a really wicked.

People deal with grief in so many ways most people like to be surrounded by family friends others pretend like it didn't happen or most like me cry nonstop cry themselves to sleep and love to be alone. No one knows whats it's like to loose someone they love unless it's happend to them yeah maybe you could probably imagine but it's not the same.

We are going to have a funeral for Malia the whole packs going to be there so say goodbye and it's going to be my first and last to say hi and Goodbye. I wonder what the pack must think probably think Its all my fault or what kind of Luna can't carry her own pup. I really hope I'll stop hurting someday but the truth is you never really do you.

Lilly comes brings foods and trys to cheer me I'm really grateful I really am but the truth I envy her she can carry her child watch he or she grow up into a beautiful man or women I know its selfish but I sometimes wish she lost hers too. She's my best friend and I don't really wish that I just get so Angry it's only been a few days.

I thought about this if I want to stop hurting I need to have another baby I'll ask Tristan after Malia's funeral he would want to right he wants me to be Happy.

Tristan's Pov

I do regret how I spoke to Leah about not letting her see the baby but I believe I did the right thing she wouldn't of been able to handle it.
She's named our beautiful baby girl Malia I'm sure if we had the chance we would of been great parents to malia but it wasn't meant to be she was too pure for this world the moon Goddess saved her. Well this is what I keep telling myself because i might go Insane. Leah's locked her self in her room and crying herself too sleep every night she doesn't want to share with me. My mate seems to think that she's the only one hurting buts she's not our whole pack is hurting I wish I could cry and lock my self in a room and cry but I can't I have to be strong for my mate my pack and be a Alpha just so my whole pack doesn't fall apart. I've barely spoken to Leah so I've stayed in my office and try to carry on as normal as possible just doing work to keep my self busy really makes you forget for a little while.

My parents have came to check up on me from time to time so has Kye my Mother has tried to force me to eat but I'm just not Hungry I know I need to eat because I can feel my body getting weaker but I just don't want to.

When I go to the pack house or gardens and pack members see me they give me a look that says they pity me and I hate pity.

I feel really bad because I forgot I even was having a baby for a moment and that in the beginning I didn't even want a baby just yet was it my fault.

Anyway what good does playing the blame game do

Lilly's pov

I was sat down In my special place by the wall with the cold breeze surrounding me with my hand gently rubbing my stomache with kyes hands around me thinking how my best friend must hate me now wishing it was mine instead of hers the way she's looks at me sometimes I couldn't even describe I can't blame her though if I was in her position I would do the exact same. I can't even imagine at what it's like for her I just wish I could take her pain way but I can't. The whole packs feeling the lost most of the time it's like a ghost town around here.

I feel so guilty we were supposed to go through this together watching our children grow up together there meant to be best friends.
She named her Malia it's a beautiful name she would of turned into a beautiful women.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Kye rubbed my shoulder

"hey honey bee what are you thinking about" he ask

"I'm just thinking about how much she must hate me right now" I reply

"Don't think like that" he says

He then starts brushing his lips across my neck

"Stop" I giggle

"No not until you stop thinking like that" he replies

He carrys on brushing his lips again my neck

"Stop kyes its not the time right now" I say

"No I won't until you stop thinking like that it's horrible about what happend to the Alpha the luna but your my main prioritie and you come first okay" he says

"okay let's just talk about trees" I say

Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter I know its been sad but more happy times are to come so keep on reading to find out please continue to vote.

Thanks for reading xoxoxoxo