Poems For The Lover And The Loner

The Ocean

You are the ocean

    I would gladly drown

We were the ocean

    But the waves never came

I miss the ocean

    I miss what never came

The ocean has changed

    But I’m still the same

I miss the ocean

I want to touch the waves

    I miss the soft feel of the water through my fingers

I want to hold the sand

    I miss how it stuck to my hand like it would never leave-

but slowly it was falling. Grain by grain the sand peeled away

Before it left forever.

I want to feel the ocean wind

I miss the way the breeze kissed my face; like burying my face in covers made of silk

Maybe I won’t ever step foot on the beach, and maybe I don’t need to; but I want to-

More than anything.

I miss the scent of the ocean

    Clean and fresh and familiar.

I miss the taste of the ocean air

    The way it pierced like a knife through the heart, but comes back soft like velvet.

I miss the ocean.

I miss being allowed to step foot on its shore and gaze out onto the tempestuous waves.

I miss going on early evening swims when the air was ice cold and full of promises

I miss how the ocean would long for my company as much as i longed for its;

when the waves would still crash and roll to my feet like it was all the ocean ever wanted.

You are the ocean

Turbulent, unpredictable yet enthralling beyond compare

I would watch it all day if I was allowed to

But I’ll keep my distance though I wish I didn't have to

Boiling and bubbling and brimming with life

Constantly moving and changing without warning

Its tides shift and its winds hasten

I reach out yearning for the familiar touch of the waves on my skin but to no avail

It feels as though the more I reach out, the more i get pushed away

Falling further and further away from what’s not mine

And will never be mine.

For how could a sea

So compelling, so bold

Ever love me as much as I love it

We were the ocean

The air was cold

But the water was warm

The air held the sound of the waves that never came;

Fizzing and foaming up then thinning out to nothing.

The surface of the water was always calm, still

I had never known still waters quite so dynamic

And I had never heard silence quite so loud

I remember how I ached with anticipation as I waited for the tides to rise

And i could tell you were aching too

Waiting for the moment when the winds quickened

But the rest of the earth felt frozen in time

    And i’ll never feel that again

The ocean has changed

It’s difficult to tell when currents shift

When a part of the ocean changes its mind.

Wading in, you feel the difference;

An underlying anxiety

Ocean water had filled my lungs

And I forgot how to breathe

Ocean water spilled into my veins, ran straight to my brain

    And I forgot how to think

Bucket by bucket I tried to empty it out

But the more I tried to rid myself of it

The more I needed it.

I’ve kept a handful of ocean water

Still coursing through my veins

At times it hurts and stings

Because it will never be the same

But there’s nothing I can do

This part of me will remain.

The ocean is living and thriving without me

And it’s leaving me in pain