TAEKOOK? TAEKOOK.

VI.

-

hi angels

a really triggering chapter so please be aware!! i hope it isn't too much for some people, sorry if it is

-

jungkook found himself thinking.

thinking about the incident from a few days ago.

how jimin was looking at him, so knowingly, kinda confused but mainly looking like he knew. looking like he knew everything.

it scared jungkook, thinking that all of the walls him and taehyung built up could have fallen down, how they could be so exposed to jimin and probably the others as well, how embrarassing it'd be, if they learned that someone like taehyung was with someone like jungkook.

you see, jungkook never thought highly of himself. never, for a split second of time, did he think he was worthy of everything that taehyung had to offer so openhanded-ly. he was so wrong for taehyung, so unperfect, so...dumb and annoying. why is taehyung giving him his attention anyways? why is all of this happening between them? it's rather weird, isn't it? jungkook looked at himself in the mirror, how pathetic, ugly and idiotic he looked. he slapped himself harshly, his cheek getting redder and redder by the second.

another slap.

another one. 

jungkook took out his razor. 

he promised yoongi he wouldn't do this, but his mind was so foggy. so filled with thoughts and god, he never felt more unworthy, more self hatred. 

i should get away from him

i don't deserve his attention

i should disappear

he doesn't need me

jungkook felt a slit cut open his skin, blood slowly oozing out. he did it three more times, until, he heard a knock on the door. "jungkookie? you're in there right?"

fuck

"alright kook, im coming in-" taehyung stepped in, eyes wide, looking at jungkook, blood all over his arm. "kookie? what- what the hell???" taehyung ran towards jungkook, tears rolling down jungkook's face. taehyung's eyes searched for the first aid kit he knew jungkook had around. when he finally found it he walked quickly towards it, picking it up and getting some wound cleaner and bandages out. he sat down beside jungkook, grabbing his arm and wipping the blood off with some cotton and the cleaner liquid. "i-it stings t-taehyungie" jungkook cried out, pouting, leaning onto taehyung. "shh love, it'll be okay" taehyung wrapped the bandage around jungkook's arm, finishing it up and looking at jungkook, his eyes coated with worry. 

"why on earth would you ever do that to yourself darling? you scared me so much, i could have lost you-" taehyung got quickly cut off, "im fine taehyung. leave now." jungkook shrugged him off coldly, the older looking at him, confused. jungkook turned around, but taehyung just spun him around, trapping him in his arms, seeing him tear up once again. "my love, why are you behaving like this?" taehyung asked, seeing jungkook slowly break, his head falling on taehyung's shoulder. taehyung picked up the fragile boy, putting him softly onto the bed and pulling him into his lap, giving him a tight hug. 

"i-im s-s-sorry im s-so d-d-dumb and u-unworthy of y-your l-love-" taehyung cut him off, pulling jungkook back, cupping his face, "never say that again, little one. you're worthy of everything i give you and so, so much more. you're so perfect, so beautiful. you have all the qualities on you. you're endearing, jungkook. perhaps- perhaps i might love you. i don't know, kookie. im so confused. so confused and scared" taehyung said, and jungkook blinked his lashes, eyes big. "taehyungie, you don't have to figure it out right now, i will wait for you if that's what you need. i love you so much" taehyung help jungkook's hands tightly, leaning in and kissing him, not passion nor lust overtaking him this time. it was love. love he had for the younger boy. 

taehyung was falling in love, and it was so scary. 

༉‧₊˚✧

"and that's why im so handsome"

"jin, you literally went on for thirty fucking minutes, trying to prove how handsome you are"

"and that's why i love him"

"namjoon shut up, you're literally engaged." yoongi chuckled, seeing the pretty ring sitting on namjoon's finger. his eyes caught taehyung, who was sitting in the corner, looking at something on his phone, being unusually silent. "taehyung, are you alright? you have been awfully down lately, what's up dude?" yoongi asked, tilting his head at taehyung. "everything's fine yoongi. don't know what you're on about" taehyung replied, his eyes not leaving his phone screen. yoongi simply sighed, jimin looking at him with a knowing look, leaning into his ear. "ill take care of it, don't worry love" jimin whispered into yoongi's ear, kissing his cheek after.

"woah, what happened to jungkook's arm?" hoseok exclaimed, and all the boys turned around to see jungkook walking towards them. all boys, except taehyung.

this was a few weeks after everything that had happed and taehyung was being cold, distant, not talking much to jungkook or anyone else, his feelings eating him up. he didn't know why, or how. infact, he didn't know anything. nothing at all. 

jungkook walked towards the table all his best friends were sitting at, taking a seat quite away from taehyung.

"kook you alright? what happened to your arm?" namjoon asked, sounding awfully worried. "im alright, joon. it's nothing, i just hit it a little" jungkook lied, not wanting to explain anything to anyone.

all he wanted was for taehyung to love him, for taehyung to go back to the man he fell in love with, not this cold, distant person.

-

im sorry if this fanfic is boring ill try to speed up things!! love u

-