Trigger Warning

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning to the sound of yelling. I tried to ignore it, but it only became louder and clearer. I heard my younger brother, Logan, crying. I got up and threw on some clothes. Grabbing my phone, I quickly walked out the door. I didn't even bother to try and take Logan with me. He never listened anyway. Not knowing where else to go, I headed to the park. I called Justin, asking him if he could hang out. "Sure, I'll head out now," he said. I waited for him to arrive, pacing while counting to ten over and over again to avoid a panic attack.

Without warning, he pulled me into a hug. I looked up, startled. "I walked past your house and heard the yelling," he said. I shrugged and he pulled me closer. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Truthfully, I don't know," I whispered. He kissed the top of my head. I felt tears pricking at my eyes. "It's okay to cry," I rested my head on Justin's shoulder. I closed my eyes, feeling the tears slip out. He simply held me, whispering to me that it'd all be okay. I have no idea how long we stood there. I just knew I hated the fact that he had to see me cry, but at the same time, I was grateful to have someone holding me for once.

"Sorry that you have to deal with me like this," I whispered, wiping my tears away. "It's okay, Emily. You don't have to apologize." Justin kissed my cheek quickly, causing me to break into a tiny smile. Justin always knew how to support me. Even when I didn't even know what was going on in my mind, he somehow made sense of it. He gave me a quick squeeze. "I love you." "I love you, too," he replied, kissing my head again. "Now, why don't we go to my house and play video games for a while?" I smiled as he draped his arm around my shoulders. "Sure," I replied. 

"Don't you fucking dare!" I laughed as Justin threatened to shove me into a ravine. We'd been playing Minecraft for nearly three hours, but it felt like thirty minutes. "Why shouldn't I?" he laughed. "Asshole," I joked. He kissed me on the cheek. "You know you love me." "Of course I do," I replied. "You're like my big brother." He smiled. "You should probably head back now." I sighed, nodding. "I'll see you later," I said, standing up. "Good luck." Justin pulled me into a hug and for a minute I just stood there, melting into his embrace. Finally, I pulled away and walked out the door.

"Where the hell have you been?" my mother yelled. I didn't even have a chance to close the door before she started yelling at me. "I've been trying to reach you for two fucking hours!" I had been gone for nearly five hours. Just goes to show how little attention they pay to me. "I was hanging with Justin," I mumbled. "Why didn't you answer any fucking calls?" she yelled. "I had my phone turned-" she cut me off. "You know you shouldn't turn your phone off when you're not home." I looked at the ground. "Look at me," she instructed, her tone lowering, which was even worse than the yelling.  "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, but lately you've been a total bitch to everyone. And I get that Danny and Steve can be dicks, but that's not an excuse to act heartless." Her gaze was piercing and unwavering. "Hard to believe you even have a personality." I swallowed back tears. "Stop being so ugly to everyone or I'm going to take away your phone, and you won't be going to Justin's anymore." I gripped it tighter.

After she was done scolding me, I hurried to my room and locked the door. I leaned against it, closing my eyes as tears rolled down my cheeks. I turned on my phone and saw a text from Wilson. "Just a reminder that I love you a lot." I smiled through my tears. I don't exactly remember when I'd met Wilson, I just knew I trusted him a lot. We had also previously dated for a few months, but now we were just friends. "I got yelled at again," I replied. "Need a hug?" he asked. I answered yes, and he said he'd be over in a few minutes. He lived a town over, but it was only a ten-minute drive between our houses.

I wiped my eyes and quickly brushed my hair. I didn't want him to see me looking like a mess. A few minutes later I heard my mom call me, saying I had a friend at the door. I walked out to the living room. With my mom's permission, I joined Wilson on the porch swing. His white hair - dyed, of course - was messy and his brown eyes looked gentle and comforting as always. He was almost a foot taller than me, so I was always pretty short standing next to him. As soon as I sat down, he hugged me and asked what happened. Wrapping my arms loosely around his torso, I explained what my mom had said.

"That's bullshit," he remarked as I finished. I nodded in response, fighting tears. "You have a wonderful personality," he said, kissing my nose. I had no idea why he always kissed my nose, but I never objected. I didn't answer, afraid my voice would break if I tried to talk. "If you need I will let you literally cry on my shoulder." I considered it. I laid my head on his shoulder, deciding it wouldn't be too bad if he saw me cry. Still, I tried to hold back the tears as much as I could. However, despite my best efforts, one tear escaped and rolled down my cheek, soaking into his shirt. Wilson didn't seem to mind, he just kept hugging me. I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, feeling his heat beside me. I always felt safe in his arms.

I ended up crying a little bit. Wilson silently hugged me the whole time, kissing my nose once. "I love you a lot," he said. "I love you, too," I replied, slightly tightening my hug. I remembered why I had liked him so much before. Sometimes I wondered what would've happened if I didn't break up with him. Would we still be a couple? Would he have broken up with me? I was great at torturing myself with unanswered questions. Did it hurt him when we broke up? Did he remember that we even dated at all? I had no clue, and I was too scared to ask any of my questions out loud. So I sat in silence, wishing he would never let go. And for a while, he didn't.

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That night I couldn't sleep. I took two Melatonin, blinked rapidly for three minutes, turned my phone's blue light filter on, and even listened to a guided sleep meditation. Nothing worked. It was past eleven, but I got up and headed to my window and opened it. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the screen. I took deep breaths, listening to the sounds of the night. Nature always calmed me, as well as music. After a few minutes, I crawled back into bed, and eventually fell asleep. 

I woke up around six, which wasn't unusual for me. I knew my family, minus Logan, wouldn't be up for a while, so I decided to go for a quick run. I threw on a tank top and shorts, put on my sneakers, and headed outside. I stretched quickly and started out walking. I progressed to jogging for a bit before bursting into a full sprint. I ran down the street and back. Finally, I headed inside, sweaty and out of breath. I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I turned on my phone and started scrolling through Instagram. I lit up when I got a text from my boyfriend, Hayden. I sighed when I found out it was just him saying he wouldn't be texting today. I put my phone away and headed out to grab breakfast.