Limited

[Two]

Tuesday 25th of September 2012

Dear diary,

I find it hard to explain the way that Thomas makes me feel. He’s always saying one thing, and doing another for the simple fact that he loves to surprise me. Well, surprise me he did.

Today’s date was, as I had expected, completely awesome! I mean, I expected him to have a really difficult time organising dates that you can have at a hospital, but he seemed to be doing perfectly fine with it.

No signs of stress, or confusion in the way he acted or spoke. He appeared completely at ease. Just like he always was in life. The way he was so calm and cool about things, made me feel more at ease during the more difficult times in the last few years of my life.

I knew he was having a hard time with the two week deadline, but he was hiding it really well. I knew he was doing it for me, and as much as I appreciated it, I just sometimes wish he would let his guard down, and act the way that he really felt, at least with me anyway.

I always felt like I could be myself with him, and I wanted him to feel the same way with me. I know this was a really difficult time for all of us, but I didn’t want him to pretend that it wasn’t happening. That would only make it all the more painful in the end.

He acted as himself throughout our entire relationship. There was never a moment when his personality wavered to be different than it was any other time.

It’s been a couple of days since I was admitted to the hospital, and since I asked him to organise these dates. Four days to be exact.

Due to his excitement, I thought he would do a date every day for a week, but when there was no date for a few days, I thought he wasn’t able to think of anything, and he couldn’t grant me my last wish.

I should have known that he wouldn’t let me down, though. He never has before, and the date definitely did not disappoint.

He told me that since he wasn’t able to take me on any dates at the beginning of the relationship, he was going to do the dates in the order that he would have when we started dating, and if we had more years to spend together. Each date increasing in romance, length, and meaning, as they went on.

He asked me if he could take me on more than five dates, but I told him no. When I saw the disappointed on his face, I explained to him what my reasoning was. That I wanted to have all the luck I could get right now, and five dates made me feel lucky.

He understood completely, and agreed to just having the five dates. He always understood, and that surely couldn’t be easy with my condition. The disappointed look left his face, and I was relieved.

I hated seeing him so disappointed. He has always done his best to make me happy, no matter what, and because of him, I have had the happiest three years of my life.

He always made me feel special, and like I was a normal teenager. This date was definitely no exception.

He had to leave early this morning. I knew that he hated it. I could see the reluctance in his eyes, but he said that he had some things that he needed to do.

I hated it when he left. It wasn’t often that he wasn’t here with me, and I was never alone. I always had my parents, or his parents with me, and sometimes even our friends came in, but no matter how many people I had around me, I always felt empty and alone when he wasn’t with me.

He came back a few hours later to have some lunch with me, and we just hung out in the rec room for a little while. He was a great distraction, and for a moment I forgot all about what was coming.

It was already dark by the time we left the rec room, and as we walked down the corridors, I looked out of the wide windows that were giving me a calming view of the early night sky, filled with bright stars.

I tried to walk into my room, but Thomas stopped me. I became curious, and worried, but when I saw his breathtaking grin, I relaxed, and became excited.

He handed me a small piece of paper that was made to look like a movie ticket, and it had the title of my favourite movie typed onto it.

It made me feel really great that he knew, and remembered, what my favourite movie is. My curiosity was piqued again, and I opened the door to my room. This time, Thomas didn’t stop me.

I couldn’t see anything in the room, because all sources of light were turned off. Not even the moons glowing light was making its way in through the window, due to the completely closed blinds.

I almost ran out of the room scared when a small circle of light appeared. That was until the shape of one of my friends started walking towards me, and I realised that it was a torch.

The lights came on, but they were only dim, giving me just enough light to see that my hospital bed had been pushed against the wall on the far side of the room, and three small rows of chairs had been set up in the middle of the room.

Sitting in those chairs were both our parents, and a few of our friends, all holding bags of popcorn, and looking at the small television that was set up in my room. It truly looked fantastic, and I was almost jumping up and down with excitement. I’ve only been to the cinema once in my life, and now my amazing boyfriend set up my own personal cinema in a hospital room.

My friend holding the torch was even wearing a uniform that they must have gotten from a party hire store. They were creating the full atmosphere of a real cinema.

 I couldn’t believe that he had done this all for me. It made my heart swell with love, and pride that he was truly all mine; at least for two more weeks, well, ten more days.

Before we were led over to our seats, I was taken to my food tray where a large bag of popcorn, and a jumbo sized cup of my favourite flavour of slushie were waiting for me. Like the true gentleman that he was, Thomas carried the stuff to our seat, and handed them to me once we were seated.

The lights dimmed out again, and the advertisements on the DVD began playing. Throughout the movie, the others in the room would cough, clear their throats, and even whisper every now and then. The sounds of the popcorn crunching, and drink slurping through the straws made me feel like I was really at the movies, and made me forget that I was dying in a hospital.

Thomas even did the yawn and stretch over the girls shoulder thing, which made me giggle, and I leaned against him, with my head on his shoulder.

When the movie was over, the lights came on again, and the others in the room left. I would have felt rejected that they didn’t even say goodbye, but I knew that they were just playing along.

I stood up to start packing everything away, but Thomas stopped me, and pulled me gently out of the room. He held my hand tight in his, and his warmth soared throughout my body.

This boy has no idea of the amazing effect that he has on me. How safe I feel whenever I’m with him.

We walked around the halls for a little while, not even needing to talk. We made a full circle, and reached my room again. Everything had been put back to normal, and cleaned up.

Thomas stopped me at the door, and leaned down to give me a small, sweet kiss on my warm left cheek. His lips left tingles where they touched, and I couldn’t help but smile.

I finally understood the date now. He wanted to give me the full, proper experience of going on a very first date. Stimulating, walking me home by walking through the halls, and giving me a kiss at my door.

He left to go shower, and sort out some things at home, but he promised that he would be back soon. I couldn’t wait to see him again.

I might not know much, but I know that I have just had the best first date ever.

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V o t e | C o m m e n t | F a n

~Alyssa