Never Look Back - Seo Changbin

Part One

You were a foster child from the day you were born, you had always jumped from house to house. You can't say that you had ever truly experienced the feeling of a real "home" that you had always heard the other kids talk about. The sense of belonging never really finding you, even at the tender age of 15, when a family had decided to offer you the chance to stay with them. Something that had been rare for kids your age, as teenagers were often traded for kids and babies. It was almost impossible to get adopted past the age of eight, at least it seemed so to you. So when the offer to leave the awful group homes presented itself in the form of foster parents, You gladly accepted it. A small sliver of your heart had hoped that you would finally have something that could be considered home, but that feeling you had always heard and dreamed of since you were a child never came.

Something deep inside you never allowing you to grow too attached to the people who had so graciously taken you under their protective wings. The couple was nice yes and had never made you feel obsolete in their presence. Although you were not attached you couldn't say you hadn't grown fond of them. They even offered to let you live with them until you could get yourself a nice job and a decent number in your saving account. However, you had always known that it wasn't what you wanted. You had wanted to leave and it didn't matter where. You had read a word once before in a book that had been gifted to you in the system. "Wanderlust" it meant a strong impulse or desire to travel, wander, or explore. It was as if something in your body just willed you to want to leave everything behind and start a new life. Leading you to this particular moment in your life.

This exact moment had been on your mind since you could form a coherent thought, The cynic in you never truly believing you could make it to this point in your life, It was almost, surreal. You, now 20 years old who had been working their ass off since the age of 16. Finally, had enough money to say fuck it, pack up your bags, hop on a train to anywhere and forget everything else. So that's exactly what you did. 3 hours later you were at the train station a pocket full of cash, a backpack stuffed with essential products, snacks and some clothes, leaving nothing but a note on the bed of your old 'home.'

You bought a ticket to the furthest place you could think of, heart thundering in your chest as you tugged on the ticket between your fingers. The train arriving too soon for your liking; the moment you stepped on the train worry filled your entire body. Your brain was jumping from scenario to scenario each one ending worse than the last . You took a step back, trying to exit the bus but were quickly shoved back inside by someone trying to enter. They mumbled a short apology before scurrying to their seat. You blew it off and turned to run out of the train but the doors had already shut. Sure you could have asked someone to open them so you could leave but you took it as a sign that you have to go.

Gathering your courage, you took a deep breath before stepping away from the doors, beginning your descent down the train, passing through each cab looking around frantically until you eventually found your seat and plopped down staring out the window at the still bodies all waiting to go on their own form of adventure. Completely zoned trying to create your own story of where those people were going you almost hadn't noticed the person sitting down next to you, that was until they dropped their bag loudly onto the floor. The sound breaking you from your trance causing you too jump and smack your knee on the tray sticking out from the chair in front of you. "Ah shit!" you gripped your knee, wincing in pain as your new seat mate chuckled. "Someone's jumpy. Didn't mean to scare you, my bad." You huffed and looked up at the boy. You had to admit, he was pretty cute. A little douchey but cute.

You rolled your eyes and sat back straight. "I am not jumpy! I was just zoned out" you finish with a pout. "Mhm, i see. Well I'll be sure to stay completely silent next time you zone out." "That would be highly appreciated." "I'm good at being quiet, I promise." He winked as he pulled out a notebook from his bag."So seat buddy, what's your name and where are you headed?" "What happened to the 'good at being quiet' thing?" "Hey! We're gonna be here for awhile, would you rather have a comfortable silence or an awkward one?" you sighed hating the fact he was right. "I'm (Y/n). I don't have a destination...just needed to go, y'know?"

"Well (Y/n) I completely understand. I've been doing that for the past year. My names Changbin by the way." "It's a pleasure to meet you Changbin. Wow. Really, a whole year? You got any advice for a newbie scrub like me?" "In fact i do. Make friends with at least one person in each place you stop. Eventually you'll have connections all over. It comes in handy sometimes." "I appreciate the help, thank you." "It's no problem. Just stay cautious though. Not everyone is as nice and cool as me." "Oh full of ourselves, are we?" "Only a little bit but look at me, i think i have a right to be." He places his hands under his chin like he was a little flower, wiggling his fingers. "Yeah ooookay, whatever you say." "And i say i'm adorable so."

"The first friend i make and he's totally self absorbed." He gasped "We're friends? Don't you think we're moving a little to fast? I'm afraid of commitment." "My bad, acquaintances then?" "I'm kidding. Of course I'll be your friend." he ripped a paper from his notebook and scribbled down his number before handing it to you."Another pro tip. Throw out your old phone and stick to burners until you can get a new plan and number. I'm sure you left for a reason it would be a shame if you got dragged back." "Thank you for all your help." "Like i said, no big deal. You ever have any issues feel free to hit me up." The two of you fell into small talk, learning about each others interest and hobbies.

Soon enough the train halted all its movement and a voice boomed through the car letting the passengers know what stop they were at. "Damn, thats me. Can't believe its already been 3 hours. Maybe one day we'll cross paths again." "Or maybe this is the first and last time we ever meet." "You would prefer that, wouldn't you?" You shrugged and laughed as he threw his few items into his bag before flinging it over his shoulder, heading to the door. Just like that the feeling of loneliness set in.