I take shelter from the unforgiving Arizona heat under a sparse Palo Verde near the shore of a too-blue-to-be-real lake. Tank rolls up a few minutes later in a busted Camry that needs a good scrub down. He beams from behind the wheel after hooking a u-turn to stop at the curb near me.
"Your family lives in those townhomes? Pretty nice! I've been back in there. I swam in the pool there once!" He shows me a proud smile. I wonder what it was like to always beam with happiness. I used to feel that way about life.
"Yeah. I haven't tried it yet. Where are we off to, my Mesa wonders tour guide?" I try to mirror his enthusiasm for life, but from me it sounds phony, forced.
"Oh first we hit Dutch Brothers! I need my frozen drink in this weather! My friend works there and he makes a Tank special. It's a sugar bomb but so fierce!" He looks over at me and bares his teeth like he isn't sure how I'll take his mild announcement.
"Sounds good, my Mesa sherpa!" I laugh. He is too cute for words.
He drives in silence for a few minutes and his smile melts off into what looks like angry confusion. He hops to the other side of the 60 freeway and then turns down Southern Avenue. We stop at a way too long red light and he just stares ahead like he's wrestling with something.
"I have to confess something," he says without looking at me. I can see the dread in his eyes and feel a protective growl in my chest.
"What are your sins, my son?" I say with a voice I hope sounds like a wise priest.
"No, it's serious. I just... well the guy who makes my special drink. He and I kind of... well he likes me, like in a... a gay way, you know? We went out..." He won't raise his eyes to meet mine.
"How gay a way is it?" I ask, trying to ease the tension with a joke.
"Well... so ok... we went out once. He's nice and all... I just didn't like him like that. Just warning you in case he acts weird." Tank screws up his face like he was... he was scared to look at me.
It hit me like a shock. He's trying to come out to me as if he doesn't know I like guys too. He hadn't picked up on the fact that I had been crushing on him all morning. I was stunned.
I think quietly then realize I've been thinking quietly for too long. We pull up to the coffee place. It's an outdoor hut with a drive through and side patio covered from the blazing sun. I realize I need to speak. He parks and looks over at me then quickly looks back down at his lap.
"Is that the guy?" I ask and point to a cute skinny kid taking an order at the front window.
"Julian. That's... yeah. So if you're weirded out by the guy-guy thing just tell me. We can go somewhere else or... I can take you home. Ok? I just... I'm me, ok? I like guys. Not everyone knows that, but..." Tank speaks so awkwardly and his voice cracks every fourth syllable.
"So that's my competition?" I laugh.
"Uh... what?" He looks up at me suddenly and then a smile spreads across his lips.
"My competition for your admiration. I gotta beat him up or something? What's the rules here, cuz you're hella cute." I laugh.
I didn't have his weirdness with my sexual identity. I'd never even come out. My parents just knew. When my mom asked me in fifth grade if I liked any of the girls I'd responded with no. Then she'd asked if I liked any of the boys and I'd said yes. That was it. From then on she just acted like it wasn't a big deal. She must have told my dad too because after that short conversation he seemed to get it too.
"No... he's nice. Wait! You... like me too?" he asks as if he misheard me.
"Maybe." I grin. "Can't just fall for the first cute boy I see. I have to look around a bit."
YOU ARE READING
Hayden's Shelter
Teen Fiction[BoyXBoy] - Not-Quite-16 year old Hayden Davis finds himself seeking shelter in the Arizona desert with his mom after his dad's deportation and the fall of the Orange County business Empire his parents had built. He's working with his mom to get th...
