One Night Stand JENLISA

Chapter 4

No no no no.

Feelings? I don't believe in that shit. I never had a feelings for anything. Maybe a little dash of sorrow when my mom died, but I didn't give it much thought because she wasn't there for me.

She was never there.

She cared about sex, drugs and other shit more than she cared about me; her own fucking daughter. Who the hell does that? Who open their legs for stupid dickhead and walks around for nine months, then pops a child out then decides to leave and do their own shit?

I was ashamed to call her mom. I never once had that word spit out of my mouth. I never answered her as 'mom'. I just called her whatever I felt like calling her. She never called me her daughter, she just called me 'that kid' or 'little baby'. I was done with her as soon as I came out of her.

I once had feelings for this girl back in high school, but that quickly faded. I never saw anyone as someone who could love. I'm not even sure if I know what the words means.

What is love?

Since I'm sitting in my house with nothing to do, I might as well search the web. I quickly type in 'What is love?'

Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.

I close my laptop and sit there. What the hell does that mean? I understand feelings, but affection? Attachment? I never had any of those things towards person, so I never been in love.

Besides it sounds absolutely terrifying.

I got a text from Chaeng saying that I needed to get ready because I'm supposed to meet that woman tonight for our hook up.

I totally "forgot" about it until Chaeng reminded me. How nice of her.

I get up and take a quick shower then slip some clothes on. I'm not trying to over-do it or not hardly try at all. I just didn't want to get inside this woman's pants.

Did I just say that? What the hell?

I look at myself in the mirror and I'm pretty satisfied. By the time I got done with everything, Chaeng is waiting outside for me.

As I get into her car and pulls out, I look over her and ask her what this woman like, but all I got back was 'you'll like her, she's great'. I sit back and stare out the window.

Once we pull up, I know that I'm not up for this. I don't feel like being here or meeting someone.

Sometimes I really hate this chipmunk.

We walk inside and look around to notice that it's a bar and a restaurant. I looked at Chaeng but she grabs my wrist and pulls me to the bar. She look around then stops nest to a woman sitting at the bar.

They talk for a moment then Chaeng looks at me. "Lisa, this is Tzuyu. Tzuyu this is Lisa." Tzuyu smiles at me and we shake hands. Chaeng excuses herself, leaving us alone. I sit down next to her and look her over; she was beautiful. She had brown eyes, black hair and her smile is beautiful.

"Chaeng has told me some things about you." She smiles and I smile a little.

"Good things, I hope."

She nods, "Of course." She smiles and I try to focus my attention on something else. It's not that she isn't attractive, but something else keeps invading my mind.

"So you work with her?" I look back at her and nod. She smiles then nods, "That's cool. How do you like being a Graphic Designer?".

"I like it a lot, I always wanted to be something like that when I was younger."

She smiles. "A dream come true then, huh?"

I nod and the bartender asks what we want to drink. I start with something light after Tzuyu orders. We sit and talk for a while, and she's pretty cool. I found out that she works as a fashion designer, she basically travels around the state.

"So, what line do you work for?" I sip my drink while I look at her.

"Chanel." I almost spit my drink out as I stare at her.

"No shit? That's amazing!" she smiles and I look her over. This woman was amazing.

"Yeah, I think I'm doing a line for some models. They're going to Germany, I think."

I couldn't believe my ears. Here I am, on a date with a woman, trying to forget a certain person, but yet I can't get away even if I tried.

"That's.. cool." I tried not to sound phased by the fact that she's talking about Jennie Kim, the model I slept with.

She nods. "Yeah, I'm excited to be working for Jennie Kim."

Please kill me.

I nod as Tzuyu smiles, "I absolutely love her. She's an amazing model. Have you seen her work?". I shake my head and she gasp then pulls out her phone. "I'll show you some of her works, they're amazing." I watch as she scrolls though her phone then brings up a picture of Jennie.

She was wearing a bathing suit while posing, and I think I felt a tingle sensation throughout my body. I stared at the picture and couldn't turn away; it was like she was drawing me in.

"Lisa?" I shook out of my daze and looked at Tzuyu. "Are you okay?"

I nod, "Yeah, she's just really pretty."

She nods and smiles, "I know right? But I heard she was quite the player."

I give her a look, "What do you mean?"

She takes a drink then sets it down, "She's not the kind to settle down, I suppose. I heard that someone doesn't date, I guess you would say."

I don't know why, but after hearing that about Jennie, I couldn't help but fell something inside of my heart. I'm not sure what it was, but I don't like it. I never felt it before.

I just nodded. I didn't know what to say.

The res of the night went good. I enjoy hanging out with Tzuyu, and she was hot as hell. But I couldn't see hooking up with her, or sleeping with her. There was something blocking those thought and I couldn't figure it out.

After Chaeng has dropped me off, I was stuck back at my house with nothing to do. I could watch TV but might encounter Jennie again. I could search the internet, but she'll be there too.

It's like no matter what I do, who I see, where I go, Jennie is always there, and after I found out about from Tzuyu, I couldn't help but think that she is just like me. I didn't care about the women I slept with, a relationship or anything else but getting laid.

But somehow, after I found out that she sleeps around and plays other women, makes my gears turn a little. It makes me realize that maybe I don't want to do that anymore, maybe I shouldn't take advantage of women anymore. I don't think the idea of her doing all that is inviting ang don't know why.

Maybe Chaeng was right, maybe I am catching feelings.