To Remember, or to Forget

CHAPTER THREE

My eyes slowly flutter open the bright sunlight reflecting in. Still, I haven't regained all the memories I've lost. With hope slowly pouring out of me, I drag myself to the washroom to get ready for school. I'm ready to leave the apartment and when I open the door, a girl is standing in front of me.

"Hey!" she says enthusiastically.

"Hi" I say as I slowly re jog my memory. Alexandra, my best friend since middle school. My body filled with relief knowing I had someone to guide me through the series of confusing events I'm about to step into.

"God, Telayha. What's with your hair?" she says as she grabs my hand. "Come on, let's fix this"

She begins to put product and blow dry my hair. Inside, I'm thinking all of this isn't nessacary, but I let her to continue anyways. She finished and we start to walk to school.

"You know Ricky? He so tried to hit on me the other day.." Alexandra rabbles but I'm not listening. Distracted by my own thoughts.

The school is far away yet you could see the groups of teenagers scattered around the school. I exhale deeply.

"You ready for this Telayha?" she says and I know I don't have too but I nod anyways.

The halls are filled with people standing by their lockers and the air is filled with loud laughs. Further into the hall, I faintly see Chris's face, but I'm not sure. Reminded of him, I turn to Alexandra.

"Hey. What's with me and Chris?" I ask Alexandra.

"What is with you and Chris?" she laughs but hesitates when she realizes I'm serious. "You guys been dating for two years now. Although you might not remember, you guys were really nice together".

In the corner of my eye, I see Chris beside me.

"Hey" he says

"Hi" I say back.

Chris and Alexandra give each other a threatening look and I don't understand why. All of a sudden, I feel intimidated by both of their presence. The bell rings, I say goodbye to the two and walk away. Eyes are following my every step as I walk, whispers that say "I wonder who's gonna tell her" to "She doesn't remember anything?". Annoyed, I slump into my seat in class, pacing myself for the rest of the day.

Many people say hi to me, yet I don't remember who they are, or when we actually became friends. A girl with short hair and blue eyes says hi to me, I say it back. Another one looks like she was about to say hi, but then hesitates, leaving me to believe that she knows I don't remember her. I'm mad at the fact life had set out this way. Now there's a huge gap in my life can't recall any memories from.

I don't remember if I had my first drink, if I got arrested, or if I failed a class. I have too many questions for myself I should know the answer to. Third period ends, I brace myself for another hallway walk to see a bunch of people I don't remember ever being friends with. Another guy looks at me, I'm lead to believe we were friends, so I wave at him. He waves back, though his face is stern. I'm stuck staring at him until Alexandra pushes me.

"What the hell Alexandra" I say, continuing my walk down the hall.

"When did you become friends with hottie?"

"Hottie? What? I wasn't friends with him before?"

"Oh, my god" she starts laughing, I push her back.

"What?"

"He's so kept to himself, I'm surprised he said hi to you" she says confidently.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Chris interrupts, I didn't even see him coming.

"Nobody" I say.

Alexandra looks away. There's a sudden change of mood in her face. I'm wondering why.

"I'll see you after school?" she says and I nod with a smile.

"So, how have you been feeling?" Chris says, stepping closer to me but then looks back at Alexandra walking away.

"Good, yeah. Good"

"I know you don't remember anything but what we had was good. I can promise you that"

I look into his eyes, but I feel nothing. I want to say that we can't have anything good anymore if I don't remember you, it doesn't feel right. But I don't tell him, only because I don't want to hurt him. Instead, I force myself to believe this is for the best, maybe if I continue the same routine I had in my old life, things would go back to normal. I would remember again.

"Mhm" I nod.

He lifts his finger to my chin, my eyes are staring into his. I feel people watching. He wants to kiss me. I force myself to look down. He sighs but he kisses my forehead anyways. He hugs me close, wrapping his arms around me. His chin rests on my head.

"It'll take time" he says and I believe him.