Hospital love- Camren

Chapter 4

"Where do you want to sit, Lauren?" Sophie asked as she led the dark haired girl into the therapy room.  Lauren simple shrugged, continuing to fidget uncomfortably.

"Okay, why don't you sit on the sofa, and I'll sit in this chair," Sophie suggested, pushing a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Lauren complies, hesitantly sifting down on the sofa.

"You seem nervous," Sophie observed, crossing one leg over the other.

"No, I just... I don't think I need to be here, I don't know what Camila told you but I'm managing fine," Lauren explained, not making eye contact.

"Well, it doesn't matter what Camila told me, I want to focus on what you want to tell me, does that sound okay?"

Lauren nodded.

"So, I'm sure you know that I'm an eating disorder specialist, but we don't have to talk about food if you don't want to, we can talk about anything you want."

Lauren didn't respond, and instead sat quietly with her gaze focused on the floor.

"Can I get you to fill out a questionnaire for me?" Sophie asked, detaching a piece of paper from her clipboard. Lauren nodded taking the questionnaire and picking up a pencil from the small table. She skimmed through the questions.

I often feel uncomfortable around food.

I make myself sick after I eat.

I don't eat enough sometimes.

My mood is low, and I often feel depressed.

I feel out of control sometimes.

I hear voices telling me to do things.

I can see things that other people can't.

"I... I just remembered that I have a patient who I'm supposed to be seeing right now," Lauren said suddenly, setting the paper down.

"Lauren, it's only been five minutes. Why don't we try and make it to fifteen, does that sound manageable?"

"Look, I throw up sometimes, so what? There's nothing wrong with me."

"Why don't you tell me a bit more about that? The throwing up," Sophie asked calmly. 

"Everyone feels a bit sick after they've eaten too much, it's no big deal," Lauren replied defensively.

"But not everyone feels the need to make themselves sick. Can you tell me what you eat before you feel the need to purge?"

"I don't purge, I just throw up," Lauren quickly interjected. "Cake, chocolate, bread... anything really."

"How much of that would you eat?" Sophie questioned, hastily scribbling something down on her clipboard.

"I don't know... an entire cake, or an entire packet of bread, I guess...it's kind of disgusting."

Sophie set down her clipboard and looked up and Lauren. "No, it's not, Lauren. It's an illness, but it's something we can work together to cure. I know you're in a dark place right now, and I know that eating disorders can make people feel hopeless, but things do get better."

"Camila is going to think I'm disgusting," Lauren mumbled.

"Lauren, she's a psychiatrist, she deals with this kind of thing all the time. If she thought people with mental health problems were disgusting, she wouldn't have worked to hard to be where she is."

"I know, but...this is different."

"Lauren, I'd say that Camila's probably known about this for a long time," Sophie said with a sympathetic smile.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Lauren, she's spoken to me about you before, I think she's known that you've been struggling for over a year now, and she hasn't been treating you any differently, has she?"

Lauren shook her head, biting her bottom lip.

"Lauren, I think it would be a good start to get you on some antidepressants, would you be comfortable with me asking Camila to write you a prescription? I know that you have a close relationship with her, but she's the only consultant psychiatrist at this hospital."

"Um...," Lauren trailed off, unsure as to what to say. She wasn't so sure about taking antidepressants altogether, let alone having Camila writing the prescription for it.

"Lauren, you don't need to be embarrassed, it's just a prescription. It's okay to need a little bit of help getting through the day, think of it as taking paracetamol for a headache."

"Does she have to know it's for me?" Lauren asked.

"I'm afraid so, but I won't disclose anything you've said to me to her".

"Okay, I guess that's fine then," she agreed reluctantly.

"Great, you've done really well today, Lauren," Sophie said with a warm smile.