Becoming a prison guard is tough. But when you're the only female in a workplace of thirty male guards, with a very attractive boss, and one inmate you can't help but be intrigued by, things become a lot more difficult.
Harry Styles "Harry you don't have to" Florence said and I ran my hands up and down her back. "Did you have your bra on?" "What?" "When we were having sex, did you have your bra on?" I laughed and she nodded. "Yeah" "Wow I usually take that off first" I winked, trying to almost stray away from what I had proposed to talk about. "If you don't want to talk about it then we don't have to" she said shifting around as she sat on my torso. "I want to. But I cant concentrate with you like this" I said.
Quickly she rolled off me and slipped on her underwear and her baggy T-shirt. She sat back down next to me as I rolled up my underwear. "Better?" She asked and I shrugged. "No, but yes. Erm" I sighed as I recalled that evening. "Harry you really don't have to" She said cupping my face. "Please Flo I want to. So, there was this party, it was huge. Everyone you could possibly think of was there. It was just at my house. There was alcohol and drugs and sex and it was crazy. I had been drinking that day since four in the afternoon and was completely hammered by the time everyone got there. So, the more people that got there I really started to become aware of all the drugs around me. So I took some. I pocketed loads after I felt what they did. I was so alone Flo. I didn't care about myself anymore." I said staring at the ceiling. I could feel the tears start to brim as she rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb. "Harry," she whispered but I shook my head. "I was so stupid Flo. I was like ten times over the drink drive limit and I got in my car, pockets full of these fucking stupid drugs, I drove away down the street and I hit a girl. I hit a girl Flo." "But that's not on your record" "She didn't die, and she wasn't badly injured but she still had to be taken to hospital, and I still hit her. I crashed the car into a wall. I had no idea what was going on. I was so stoned. The police were on me in seconds." "What about the weapon? On your record it says you were in possession of an unauthorised weapon?" She said and I shrugged. "I had a gun on me and I hadn't had it registered yet. I was waving it around the place as they arrested me. I was so so stupid Flo. So so stupid. I regret every minute. I tried to get my lawyer to contact the girl so I didn't have this guilt coming over me, but I never found her." I cried.
Florence leant forward and hugged me tight. I squeezed her back as she sat on my lap. She rubbed up and down my back as I cried on her shoulder. I regretted that night every day I was in prison. Every single day. I've hated myself for it for so long. "I hate myself for it" I cried but she squeezed me tight. "No Harry, you didn't kill her, and you didn't hurt her. You can't hate yourself" she said but I shook my head. "I feel so guilty every day. Every day" I sniffed. "Harry look at me" she said and I pulled back to look at her.
"You are a good man. I know it. In there is a heart of gold. You just have to find it again" she said pointing and poking my heart. "I can't do it on my own" I sniffed wiping away my tears. "You're not alone anymore Harry. You have your mother, your family, me" she smiled and I nodded. "I love you" I said. It slipped out. I didn't know where it came from. But I said it. It came out. She stared at me and her mouth opened slightly. "It slipped out" I whispered but she shook her head. "No no" she said and smiled, "And I have said I love you before" I said trying to brush it off. "Harry," "But I do love you Flo" I smiled and she pressed her index finger to my lips. "I know. And I can't deny that I could love you too" she said and I nodded. "Could?" "I don't trust people. Ever. There's this wall up. And I don't want to rush it" "You have said you love me before" I interjected. "I don't want to seem like a bitch but I was scared. And I do love you a little. I just think I need us to be together like this for longer before I can say I love you" she explained and I nodded. "I'm willing to do that. I love you" I said and she nodded.
As we lie under the sheets together I held her close to my body as she slept, as if I was going to loose her. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to. Every time I closed my eyes I saw an empty bed and no Florence. I saw her leaving me. Slowly, I got up out of bed and walked over to the large windows in her living room. I stared out of them at the prison. I could see my tiny cell window from where I stood. I sighed and walked back to the bedroom. I looked over at the bed and my heart sank. I flipped on the lights and ran my hand through my hair.
The bed was empty. My head span. Where was she? Had she walked out? Why had she gotten up? Where is she? "Flo! Florence!" I yelled spinning round on my heels. "Florence!" "I'm here! I'm here" she said, coming out of the bathroom. I quickly took her into my arms. "I'm here" She soothed. "I'm sorry. I just panicked." I sighed and she led me back into bed. "I'm not going anywhere Harry" she said and kissed my head.
We tangled ourselves in each other and as she brushed my hair with her fingers, I felt my eyes suddenly start to feel tired. I took a deep breath in and released it slowly. Here, right here in her arms, I was home.
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