The person I become

A New Beginning?

The knight appeared after my 5th grade. I have had enough of my demon running around and hurt people, so the knight's created. He takes care of the demon when she gets overbroad. The boys never annoy me after that because they lost their interest in me. Thought I was too calm and no fun. My life was a bit easier and less stressful, but it was still hard for me to overcome certain things.
After I finished elementary school, my mom, my brother and me moved to England. My mom decided to marry my step dad so we moved there to live with him. He was a great father, reminds me a lot of my real one. At least he cared for me unlike my own mother. Everything was fine, until that happiness was once again taken away from me.
The divorcement was a lot for me to handle. In all those 5 years with my step dad, I bonded with him. We had many fantastic memories together. He was there for me when I needed help. For example, he taught me how to fight back without violence when I was bullied by a girl from my class. I always had this stupid rule in my head: never hit another girl, cause girls are weak and they cry like waterfalls. My step dad taught me how to fight back with words. To fight for myself without any physical contacts. He also bought me lots of presents on my birthdays and for Christmas.
My mom and my step dad used to argue during those years. It wasn't anything serious at first. The arguments got worse for a year before they parted their own ways. They started screaming at each other's faces and I was usually on the other side of the door. They never argued in front of me or my brother, but the screams were unbearable. One time, my brother had to take me outside of the house when they fought just in case things got out of hand.
After my mom divorced with him, she forbid me to ever see him again. Just like she forbade me to visit dad's grave. Of course I didn't listen. She can't force me to keep distances with my step father or visit the graveyard of my dad!
" Show some respect to your own mother!" that's what she says when I disobeyed her.
'Someone like you doesn't deserve any respect for me!' the demon argued in my head, but knight stopped her before she could say it out loud.
' I know how you feel and I agree with you, however it's not worth it. You would only make the situation worse!'
' Fine! I won't do it you coward! '
' Glad that we agreed on the same thing.'
Whenever my mother hurt me, physically or mentally, those two always argue with each other. It's quite annoy actually, to have two voices fighting inside your head.
" Can you two stop screaming in my head whenever we have an argument with mom? I'm getting tired of it! Argue somewhere else and leave me alone!" I said in my head.
My life was a mess. Nothing was right. It's like I was never meant to have happiness. To feel happy just like everyone else. So I believed for a long time that I only deserved sadness, anger, pain and all those negative things in life.
I wasn't happy at all. I was never meant to be free. I never had the right to do or choose what I want. I was raised without freedom my whole life. No matter how much I fought, my mother never let me choose what I wanted.
No. The witch, who shouldn't be called my mother treated me that way all the time. I was never meant to escape from this hell hole.
I'm trapped. And there's no way out.