Are You Really Alone?

IMAGINE being locked away in a prison. You're in a confinement that contains multiple cellmates.

      First, we have Deb. She lost all hope of gaining freedom from the time she was locked away. She sees no way out. You can see little life in her eyes. To put it quite simply, she lies lifelessly in her corner of the cell staring blankly at the wall that is before . Deb lives in an emotionless state of mind... She can see clearly enough through her foggy mind that her future is bleak.

        Annie. From dawn to dusk, you see her in another corner of the cell in fetal position, parallel to Deb... She looks as though she hasn't slept in weeks. The only sounds that can be heard from her are unintelligible mumbles... The only things that can be made of what she say's is every possible thing that can go wrong. The "What ifs". The "Buts". Her own shadow frightens her, as the darkness of her worries follow her day by day ruthlessly.

        Perry. He can be likened to Annie, but with added weight. They both live in fear, but what differentiates them is he's sure someone is going to come after them. Something IS going to happen. He knows something bad will happen. Every time he looks up from his lap with a tear stained face, he feels that everyone is looking at him judgmentally; when in all actuality, everyone is minding their business. Tending to their own woes. No one at all is paying attention to him. But he just knows for sure they all know something he doesn't. He's always on edge. The one time he lets his guard down, he's stuck with the constant thoughts of "they're gonna get me. I know it".

        Next, we have Sally. She and Perry are related, but not directly. They are similar but different. She's not sure where she belongs. She feels that she's going insane. Often she feels empty & lost. At times hallucinations terrorize her when she least expects it. Whether it's seeing, hearing, or smelling, its all real to her. She doesn't understand why she's been stricken with this affliction. Why her mind constantly plays tricks on her.

       Cat... You take one look at her and you immediately feel sympathy. Cat is covered in scars. Some deeper than others, some more noticeable than others. Each scar tells a different story. Each one has a different meaning. Every time she was cut by the words or actions of others or herself, in turn, the pain helped the feeling of numbness she carried within her be lifted. Now she's stuck with the marks as a constant reminder of the past.

      Last but not least, we have Sue. She is best friends with Cat. They live as individuals but often times you never see one without the other. Sue comes and goes as she pleases; but when she's there, it takes the power of a million angels for her to leave. Her appearance is dark. Her eyes are dead. A smile has never crept upon her face. If she gets too close to you, her toxic friendship (as a wolf in sheep's clothing) sucks the life out of you. You're left feeling helpless. Essentially, you're dead because all of the power you first had in yourself has been mercilessly depleted.

       And then there's you. Upon arriving to the prison, their looks were deceiving as you thought you'd be able to find a friend in at least one of them. But alas as you got to know each of them, all of their characteristics slowly became a part of you. You feel paralyzed in your thoughts, you can no longer function as you have before. Over time, each time you close your eyes and thereafter open them... One by one they disappear. The last time you open your eyes, they're all gone. You approach your reflection in the mirror across the cell. Your cellmates are gone but in your eyes you can see them all come to the forefront at different times. You realize....

They were never really physically in your presence.

     You've personified each & tried befriending them in hopes that they will leave you alone. They've been living in you all the while. The deadened eyes, the scars, the tear stained face, the sheer hopelessness of will there be another tomorrow for me. That's all you. The prison is your mind... You cannot find the key, there is no escape. You're living at the mercy of your own mind.

Welcome to my mind.