E.M.M.A.

Lia

I'm back here in this plain room. I think they meant it to be soothing and of that sorts but really it isn't. It's just plain weird. There is no color except for the clothes we are wearing. I would have assumed that Dr Melinda would have decorated with bursts and bursts of color but no, it is just grey white and black.

As I take my seat on the grey couch Dr Melinda is looking at a file with a concerned look on her face. I'm about to ask what's wrong when she looks up and her concerned look is replaced with a shiny smile. 

"It's nice to see you back here Lia." She greeted me.

I wish I could say the same. 

Dr Melinda pushed a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup towards me. It almost seems like bribery. Like, here I'm giving you chocolate so you can trust me now open up about all the secrets in your life. Strange how that works. I take the candy from the table because Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are the best.

"Now during our last session I took notes on your story and there are some things I would like to ask you about Aria." Dr Melinda was looking at her clipboard.

It felt like a weight was lifted up off my chest. We are still only talking about Aria. I gave her a tentative smile and Dr Melinda set her clip board down. 

"Okay my first question is where are her parents? You talked about her mom a lot in the story but never her dad. Also her mom didn't appear, even when her daughter was getting ready for Homecoming." 

"Well Aria's parents divorced when she was seven. Aria's mom got custody of Aria and Lucas, her father, well he had his own family and never expressed any interest of seeing them. After their dad left they didn't have any way of getting income so their mom retired from being a stay at home mom and got a job. Her job required her to be away a lot and so Lucas and Aria basically raised themselves after a while." I explained.

"You sure know a lot about Aria and her family situation." Dr Melinda noted.

"Well she is one of my best friends and I was hanging out with her at the time when it all happened." 

"Right. Which brings me to my next question. When did you first meet Aria?" 

"I meet Aria in Kindergarten. We were in the same class and we were required to draw a portrait of ourselves. Aria was sitting at my table and her green crayon broke. She expressed that it was her favorite color and she couldn't finish the portrait without it. I gave her mine and we instantly became friends." 

Third question. Did you ever hang out with Aria during school after she joined the cheer squad?"

"Sometimes. We had Earth science together so we would talk then but if you are asking about if we ever ate lunch together, than no. She sat with the cheer squad and I sat with Meredith." 

"Fourth question. How did Aria know Madison?"

"I already told you this. Madison was dating one of Aria's best friends." this was getting a little exasperating.

I took a bite out of my Peanut Butter Cup and Dr Melinda waited for me to swallow. 

"Did you ever really talk to Lucas?" She asked me.

"Yea I talked to him a little bit but I mean Aria was popular. Everyone knew and liked her, the guys all wanted to date her and were jealous when Noah started dating her but Lucas had reached the point where he was a Football god. People were practically worshiping his feet. I was intimidated by that. Aria was intimidated by that. Everyone was intimidated by Lucas Iparis." I tried to explain.

It was true Lucas probably would go down as the best Quarterback in school history. He took the team to three State Championships. 

"How old was Aria when she won Homecoming Queen?" Dr Melinda questioned me.  

"Aria was a Sophomore." 

"How old were you?"

"I was a Sophomore as well."

"Right, so Aria was a Sophomore and Madison was..."

"Madison was a junior." I stammered.

"Okay so Madison was a year older than you so I'm guessing you didn't meet her at school."

"You guessed correctly." 

"Alright that is all I wanted to ask you about but what I really want to know is how are you adjusting to life?"

I was caught off guard by that question. Her questions before weren't about me. In fact almost nothing we talked about was about me.

"Adjusting to life?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yes, believe me there must be a big difference from before. It's okay if you are adjusting." Dr Melinda assured me.

"I really don't know. I just, it's different than what I'm used to." I retreated into myself.

"I understand that, I do. Believe me you are doing so much better than we expected you to be but if there is anything you want to change please tell me. I just want what's best for you." Dr Melinda tried to get me to come out of my shell but the thing is I don't want to come out of my shell. Talking about my friends is different from talking about myself.

"Well I think I have trust issues." I tried.

I believe that I have trust issues. I have always had trust issues.

"And that's okay. Trust issues are totally fine. Now how do you feel if a stranger walks near you?" 

"I clam up. I feel like I can't breathe and I shutter." I stammer.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel scared. Like a little girl cowering in a corner." 

"I understand why you feel like that but how can you change that?"

"You can go back in time and save me from kidnapping." I snapped.

I didn't mean that. Dr Melinda is just trying to help me but I don't feel like I can be helped. At least not right now. 

"I'm sorry for pushing you. I was out of line." Dr Melinda was looking down at her lap. 

I should apologize for snapping at her but instead am a complete jerk and respond with "You should be."

I'm an awful person.