The Arastu Diaries pt. 2

After exam

A month or two has passed and finally the season of examination has ended. Cheers on that. It was normal. I hope i pass with good marks. Mom is pushing me into visiting consultancy just a day after exam. And shraddha dds marriage is at stake. I am trying to help her but i am not her man who should be the one trying to support her. Nevertheless she is sad and desperate. Matas visit didnt make sense and garima dd case was a little falsy since that boy did put magic on her but she said no.
Nevertheless

I have to think about my future now
Scary as it is
I need to
Prechya is thinking about going abroad too so thats a food side.
I don't know what will happen next
I have my practicals to take care of.
And a lots of time to improve
Well i am waking up early
6:45 am seems to be the key.

And somehow i am able to fantasize about boys again. And now i feel so confident in my body and brain and i feel ready. But its okay too i have me and i am complete. Not every experience needs to be experienced right?

I am thinking about Ajar. Why bvs boys? I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️. Probably because they didn't bully me. And i haven't interacted with others. Girls college and all.
So i am thinking roads? Or cafes? How will i talk with him? I mean i met ayush I thought meeting them was enough but it isn't also he has a sweet gf. But yes meeting and talking nicely isn't enough. We need more cute meets and more connections and more we have to talk with each other situations. Some inside jokes and some wind and not on the downstairs area. Continuous meets and and easy talks. Ani what else? Slow motion moments and silence and this tension to kiss.
And wala start of a relationship.
Then? Idk i havent gone this far yet.
Or even started
But the power of imagination.
Sooooo
Lets see i will be nervous and awkward. He more confident. Yes and talks about our backgrounds and history and feelings. Long ass phone bills. And smiling all the time. Chya
This reminded me of that catfisher bitch
I feel so cheated and i feels so useless and wasteful the things i experienced so i did experience that in a little manner. Chya i hate it all I could think was what i will say and what he will say next and what conversation we will have. I felt i belonged to him and that made feel so sick i wanted to puke my gut was telling noooooooo fuck nooo all the time and now i am not sure i like that kind of feeling anymore. It makes me want to hide this side of me. This vulnerable side why should anyone see this?
Nobody deserves this and i dont feel right at allllllllll. I dont want to belong to anyone else. I am me and that all. I am not a property.
Aaaa ya he said you are my girl once
So thats why. Yeah.

I wanted to experience it fastttt and wanted just to experience it and everything has it's time i guess you can't force it. Btw prashant unfollows me but i do follow him and as a unfollower he still checks allll my stories.

If prashanti kumari, i wanted a friend. I wanted to talk and talk but he wanted more and i didn't feel anything towards him at all. He was good to me though.

Timing is everything
And what to do while we wait
We don't wait
We move on our life
Life is important
And its just sb who is there for you in your life.

Dowton abbey
My life is full of problems
Well life is solving problems as best as you can and surviving it.

You will do great things

July3rd