Whole New Complexity (A Sequel to Crazy As Normal)(Izzal)

Chapter 17

Izzy strongly shoves Axl away with his guitar. The blow stretches him out on the floor. Izzy doesn't even give him a passing glance, going into the dressing room. Axl is in utter disbelief in his complete ignorance since Izzy gave him a tender kiss when Axl left Hell House. They were good.

"Izzy! Fucking say sorry to me!" Standing up, Axl follows him and shouts, again, Izzy lights a cigarette with perfect composure and sits down on one of the pipe chairs in complete silence.

"What the fuck is upsetting you? What are the facts? I can't read your fucking mind!" Axl stands firm with his feet set apart in front of his best friend and hangs on him.

Taking out his guitars from the cases, Izzy finally replies to Axl but refuses to look at him. "I'm not put out. Don't make fucking blind assumptions."

"How dare you tell me bullshit? You're scaring the shit out of me and I'm fucking worried about you. Is it such a bad thing?"

Izzy exhales a deep sigh mingled with smoke. He always does when he's sincerely sick of something. "You wouldn't understand."

His words sting Axl to the quick. He grabs Izzy by the lapels, yelling at him with his sore heart. "It's you who doesn't understand anything. You don't know how I always care about you. You don't know how-"

Axl stops. Izzy doesn't know how deeply he is in love with him. Since the sad realization, Axl has sought the way of hiding his real feelings to open up a new path of life with his beloved. Each process stabs a knife into his heart, but yet, he endures pain. Because Izzy trusts Axl's loyalty. They believe their own talent. They took an oath to survive the rock music industry. Were they together, they could climb to the top. Axl never walks out on him.

Axl's both knuckles are shaking on Izzy's chest, Izzy's shirt creasing. He puts his strength into his knuckles. He's about to open his mouth again, though he doesn't know what he wants to say. Nevertheless, he wants to vent his unfocused rage and sadness, but the sudden highest volume of a chorus sharply vibrates the air.

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide,

No escape from reality.

"Go ahead," Slash shouts from the corner of the room. "Bohemian Rhapsody keeps us away from your privacy."

"You made a good choice, Slash." Duff follows in the loudest voice. "Axe, Queen's opera music gives a boost to your lover's spat."

Slash throws an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's. It crashes on the wall and fragments of glass flow all over the place. "Dunno, dude. He fucking killed a man."

Axl only just realizes the existence of them. His knuckles slacken off. Izzy doesn't miss the opening and beats them from his chest. Axl gets the feel of the three walls surrounding him with the skin. The front wall is Izzy's pale profile, the back wall is the pressure of the loud I'm-just-poor-boy-nobody-loves-me (yep, Izzy doesn't love him,) and the rest is the fooleries of Duff and Slash. The walls are drawing near him, and their sound and color are flowing into Axl's head. They tremendously drive him crazy.

"You'd never understand me! Asshole!" He screams at Izzy, turns on his heel and goes through the door, shutting it with a bang.

Axl hears the sound of a glass collision and Duff's voice. "Fuck you, Izzy! That's my vodka!"

He runs. He runs through a corridor and roughly opens a door. The room is small and dark, that indicates an unmanned space. He locks the door. There are a lot of Chinese woks and china bowls. He seems to be able to have a sense of peace for a while. He sits down on one of the cardboard boxes and closes his eyes.