Frozen Hearts

Chapter 7

[Iris]

She woke up with a mild headache and fresh tears stained her cheeks. Her whole body felt drained of all energy and she had a feeling her emotional exhaustion had something to do with it. But how else was she supposed to be feeling? In a single day she faced her worst nightmare, got her heart broken all over again and realised that seven years weren't enough to erase the memories of the love she never got to have. He'd kissed her then left the next day without so much as a goodbye. That broke her, it made her question everything about herself until she was a giant ball of insecurities just waiting for some ass hole to take advantage of. And some ass hole did.

The weather outside was downright scary which meant that Jitters was alive with people seeking shelter from the rain and a little something to ward off the cold. 18 year old Iris smiled down at a little girl before she placed the steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of her.
"Watch out Stacey," she warned and the little girl smiled back, and said:
"I know. It's hot."

"Atta girl." Iris remarked before she made her way back to the counter.
"I need a Mocha and a Chai latte for tabel three please," she told Sam who was maning the espresso machine.
"Comin' right up," he said
"Thanks Sam," she exclaimed with a wink but didn't have time to enjoy the blush that spread across the young man's face as the bell above the door announced the arrival of another customer. With a tired but chirpy sigh she grabbed her notepad off the counter and headed towards a tabel in the far corner where the new comer was making himself comfortable. Iris's steps faltered as the stranger took off his coat and hat, revealing a golden mess of hair (that he tapped down with his hands) and startling blue eyes. He sat down and picked up the menu and Iris pushed herself forward, making a mental note not to stare. 

"Welcome to CC Jitters. I'm Iris and I'll be your waitress today, what can I get you?" she asked, flashing him one of her sky brightening smiles. He looked up at her and when his eyes met hers, his smile fell.
"Wow," he said, his eyes wide with astonishment.
"What?" she asked, suddenly worried and he smiled making her knees tremble slightly.
"Nothing, it's just...your smile, it's beautiful,"   he complimented and Iris felt her cheeks heat up.
"Oh uh, thank you," she blushed and they shared a chuckle.
"Cappachino," he said and she looked at him confused.
"My order?" he clarified with another sweet chuckle and she closed her eyes and shook her head to clear her mind.
"Right. Sorry uh, coming right up," she said then spun on her heel, cursing herself for the embarrassment she'd just faced and made her way back to the counter to place his order.....

If only she'd known the wolf that hid behind those blue eyes and boy scout smile. Maybe she wouldn't have let her self be charmed by his compliments or made a home out of his embrace. Maybe she would have kept her distance and wouldn't have faced the consequences. Maybe she wouldn't have allowed him to put her back together in his own twisted way but unfortunately she didn't know any better. When she met Eddie Thawne she was still licking her Barry inflicted wounds. Still trying to piece back the parts of her heart that worked, drowning herself in work in a feble attempt to forget that life was meant to be lived. She was vulnerable and needy and he was there. So she gave in and was forever changed by what happened. Yet somehow she never blamed Eddie for her trauma, she blaimed Barry. If he hadn't left, if he hadn't broken her the way he had then she wouldn't have met Eddie, wouldn't have agreed to be his skating partner and wouldn't have gotten hurt the way she did.

Bile rose at the back of her throat as repressed thoughts came floating to the surface. She rushed to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth and made it just in time to throw her disgust up. Her body shuddered as she dry heaved once she'd puked all there was to puke. Her headache worsened and she layed herself down on the cool bathroom floor in an attempt to make herself feel better. She wasn't sure her body could take much more of this torture. Iris closed her eyes against all the sensations  and forced the dreadful memories back down, clearing her mind. For a brief moment...there was peace. The sound of her ringtone burst her safety bubble and she tried to wait it out, but it was no use. Who ever was on the other end was persistent. With a defeated sigh, she got up and walked back to her bedroom.

"Hello?" she answered, flopping down onto her bed with her eyes closed while using her fingers to rub her forehead.
"Oh good you picked up. Listen Iris I need you down at the rink stat," came her aunt's voice from the other end.
"Aunt Cecile I love you but I feel terrible right now and this morning was a complete disaster...."
"Stop your whining and get down here or I'll come get you myself! See you in a few, toodles," she said then hung up robbing Iris of a chance to protest. Iris dropped the phone and stared up at the ceiling.
"Well, this day can't get any worse anyways," she said before she got up and got ready to go.
She later found out that these were words spoken too soon.