Love and Loss ~ Marauders Era~

Chapter 49

Some part of Noelle died with their baby, she now walked around the house like a ghost. Her feet dragging, tears stained on her face. Sirius would wake up in the middle of the night to wailing in the nursery, it was heartbreaking.

"Doll. You have to get some sleep." Sirius said as he stroked Noelle's hair gently, looking sadly at the half finished nursery room with tears in his eyes.

"I can't sleep. It haunts me, every time I close my eyes I think about how I failed the baby, and I failed you." Noelle sniffed, stroking the dress of the small glass doll that was meant to be the first gift for their little girl.

Sirius kneeled down and took Noelle's face in his hands and made her look at him "How do you think you failed me?" he asked with a desolate look on his face.

"You were so excited to be a father, so excited to have a little girl you could spoil and love. You were thrilled to have a family that you would love and that would love you. And I ruined it." Noelle spoke, her voice shaking as she looked anywhere but Sirius.

"Noelle, love, there is nothing you can do to ever fail me. You didn't ruin anything. Of course I was excited to be a father, but once this war is done. We'll have a million chances to start again. You are my family Noelle. I love you, and you love me. We have the rest of our lives to have a family doll." Sirius said, wiping the tears falling from Noelle's eyes as he sent Noelle a small smile.

"Now let's go get some sleep. Okay?" Noelle nodded in response and took Sirius' hand, allowing herself to be pulled along to their shared room.

They were going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

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"What kind of prophecy?" Sirius asked James, looking at little Harry with worry.

"It says that the one with power to defeat Voldemort is coming, born at the end of the seventh month. Either must die at the hand of the other. Dumbledore believes that it's talking about Harry. We have to go into hiding. We need a secret keeper." James explained, fear very obviously written all over his face.

"So what'll happen to you?" Isabelle asks Lily as she held onto her godson's hand.

"We'll have to move house, and Dumbledore will cast a spell that will hide the house from any tracking or being able to see the house at all." Lily explained, holding Harry closer as she thought about the danger they were in.

"Sirius. Will you be our secret keeper?" James asked, looking at Sirius pleadingly "You're the person I trust most, and I wouldn't want anyone else to keep us safe."

Sirius went totally stiff, stunned at the thought of having such a huge responsibility. "You know I would love that. But i'm the obvious choice! I would be the person they would first come to to find you! Make it someone less obvious. Make it Peter!" Sirius exclaimed, worried that if he was secret keeper the Death Eaters would know it was him right away.

"No!" Isabelle suddenly shouted, her eyes wide with panic.

"Isabelle!" Remus scolded, looking at her with a slight glare "We talked about this." He finished quietly, the glare falling from his face as he felt slightly guilty for losing his temper.

"Let me do it!" Isabelle offered desperately, ignoring Remus entirely. "Or..or Noelle! Someone other than Peter!"

"Ignore her. She's being overly paranoid." Remus said, grabbing Isabelle's arm and practically dragging her toward the fireplace.

"What was that about?" Noelle asked as soon as Remus and Isabelle left.

"I have no clue..." Lily replied, a confused look on her face as she stared the empty fireplace.

"Anyway...back to the problem at hand. Peter being the secret keeper." Sirius said, still convinced he would be the least suspicious person.

"I think that's the best idea."

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"What do you think that was about? The whole thing with Isabelle?" Noelle said as she dragged her fingers through Sirius' hair, his head was rested on her lap as he laid across the couch.

"I have no idea. Remus said she was being overly paranoid. Maybe she doesn't trust Peter anymore." Sirius said, looking into the fire as he spoke.

"I wonder why. He's never done anything for us to distrust him. I mean...he always acts really skittish." Noelle contemplated how Peter had been acting lately "And he's never at the Order meetings, and whenever there's an attack he's always hiding somewhere and no one sees him until it's over." Noelle said, realizing there was a very good reason not to trust Peter.

"Doll, we've known Peter for years. He would never hurt us." Sirius said, having complete trust in their friend. Noelle nodded in hesitant agreement.

"I guess you're right." Sirius sat up and pulled Noelle into his lap, she sat with her legs straddling his thighs as he kissed the palm of her hand. Noelle stared at Sirius, the guilt coming back to her as she thought about what they had been through because of her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, looking at him with sad eyes. Sirius sighed and kissed the palm of her hand once again.

"I love your hands. They're so small and adorable and they fit perfectly into mine." He kissed up her arm "And I love your arms, because they fit perfectly around my waist when you hug me" He kissed from the top of her shoulder to her cheek "I love your cheeks, the dimples you have when you smile." Noelle giggled as he kissed each of her eyelids. "I love your eyes because they're the perfect color, I could look into them forever. And I love your nose, because it's so small and cute and fits your face perfectly." Sirius kissed her lips slowly, smiling into the kiss as he pulled away "And I love your lips, because they're plump and perfect to kiss. And they always speak the truth."

Noelle smiled at Sirius as he looked lovingly into her eyes "I love everything about you Doll, there is nothing in this world that could take that love away from me. I vowed to death do us part, and I will stick to that. I will love you until the day I die Noelle."

"I love you too Sirius." Noelle said, kissing Sirius softly. He pulled away and smiled at her.

"Doll, promise me something." Sirius said, pressing his forehead against hers gently.

"Anything."

"Once this war is done, you'll stop feeling guilt over something you couldn't of helped and we'll build our family. And we'll live next to James and Lily and our kids will be the best of friends and we'll grow old together, and live happily ever after." Sirius said, smiling up at her with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I promise." Noelle said, kissing Sirius lightly on the lips. She had finally found something to look forward to again, her future with the love of her life.