Coffin of Hope

Chapter One

Marcy Jones swung her legs slowly as she thought. She was sitting along the railing of a bridge and was full of prescription pills and alcohol. Her mind was delightfully clear like it'd been harder and harder to achieve lately but things were going her way.

For once.

Since coming to Russia, she made sure to be drunk and/or high in some way or form every day. It was the only way for her to deal with what she'd done.

She sighed deeply and held her legs up to her chest, pitching a bit before getting her bearings. She was wearing a thin nightdress and no shoes. She wore literally nothing else. But that was fine.

What she was about to do, she didn't need anything. She'd already written the letter to her landlord. It basically said to give her clothes to charity and any household goods he could keep.

She owned nothing else.

She'd lived the past five years like this. Owning nothing, owing no one. She slept on the floor under a mess of covers in her small two room apartment. She had soap and a towel, toothpaste and a toothbrush, toilet paper and cleaning supplies in the bathroom and one pot and one pan in the kitchenette along with a small amount of food in the refrigerator.

The only thing she had in abundance was alcohol.

She thought through her to do list as a leg slipped and waved in the October wind. She cleaned her apartment last night, written her letter with a clear head and taken drugs and drank. She took off her clothes and shoes and walked in the middle of the night to a far off bridge.

The air had taken care of some of her buzz but the drugs had kicked in as she climbed the railing. Now she was sitting on an iron piece of railing, watching the sun come up.

It was officially ‪October 14th.‬ It was a very special day. At least to her. She could never apologize enough but she'd tried in the letter even though she doubted anyone would tell him.

The familiar sadness enveloped her as she thought about him. What she'd done to him. He could never forgive her because she'd never forgive herself.

She had had her reasons then and they still held up. She hated that things were the way they were but that was life. It sucked and then you died.

She wondered about them. What they looked like. What they loved. Who they were as people. They were five now and would be mini people.

It caused her unbearable sadness to think about them but she knew she'd done the right thing. She couldn't be a mother. Now they'd have a good life. A life better than hers and what she could give them.

She sniffled, unaware that she'd started crying. It hurt so bad but she'd done the right thing. She refused to ruin their lives. But oh did it hurt. She dreamt about them every night.

She wiped her nose. They had to be living a good life. She'd picked the perfect men to raise her darlings. She only wished they could have had that good life with her.

She was going around in circles and was getting tired. She leaned her head back against a pole and took a deep breath.

It'll all be over soon anyway. She didn't know why she hadn't done it sooner. Her life was horrid but she continued living. Why? That didn't make any logical sense to her.

Which brought her to now.

She leaned over a bit to watch the choppy waters churn. Her last selfish act. She'd always loved water. It healed her like no other. It always had the power to calm her. Now it was going to free her.

A calmness settled over her as she realized she was really going to do it. So she leaned over all the way and jumped in.

The water was icy and burned her skin. She swam as far down as she could, hoping it was down far enough that when her survival instincts kicked in, she'd be too far down.

It seemed as though that was the case as her lungs burned and her limbs became heavy. She opened her mouth in a silent scream.

And that was it as everything went black.

OF

Mal Chang changed cameras and went back to take more pictures of the models. "Perfect! Perfect!"

The model in front smiled enticingly and batted her eyes at him, not just doing it for the camera's sake.

He noticed and winked. "Okay, take a break!"

The group relaxed and went to get food from craft services.

He went through the shots as the flirtatious model slithered up to him. "Hi, Mr. Chang."

"Hello." He grinned though he didn't look at her or pause his perusal.

"I know you're a professional but if you find yourself bored..." She slipped her card in the front of his jeans pocket. "Call me."

"Maybe I will?" He still didn't give her the attention she craved.

She pouted before leaving him, shaking what little behind she had.

He stopped for a moment, reminiscing on the past, on a behind he'd loved. But there was nothing he could do about that so he blinked the pain away and grinned to himself. He could be sad in private. He was around people now.

"Break's over, people! Let's get back to work!"

OF

Greg Davidson coughed into his fist before clicking a key on his computer. He frowned as he read the words that were translating from Russian to American English. He mumbled the words to himself before his eyes widened. "Josh! Honey, come look!"

Josh Davidson walked in with a cloth over his mouth, coughing. "Yes, dear?"

"I think I've found her!" Greg pointed to the screen.

"Who her? Oh! Her! Where is she?!"

Greg smiled smugly. "Russia."