[Edited]
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I feel like this is it, this is what my life leads up to. It feels weird knowing I'm giving up, but i mean, what else can I do?
I'm alone, I'm scared, and just, afraid
Afraid that it won't go back to normal! Well I know it won't actually everyone knows now
...they know I'm gay.
I knew it wouldn't be a secret forever. I just thought it could be a secret a little longer.
I'm trying something I know I'll regret.
After trying for 15 minutes, I finally got the razor out of my only pencil sharpener.
I put it against my wrist, having tears trickle down my cheek.
The first cut wasn't that deep, but enough to bleed.
I watched the beads of blood dripping from my wrist.
It stood for...
Weak
Seconds one. Deeper, way deeper...
Fat
I did it about 8 more times, standing for most of my disappointing features.
I washed my arm off grabbing bandages.
I put on my only hoodie and went downstairs, trying to get past my parents.
My life, it's new. But old. I guess I've always been expecting my life to go to hell. My life was just too perfect for it not to.
I walked in the school, walked quickly to my class and sat down. Hoping nobody noticed.
Luke's POV
I walked in the school with my only real friends
Calum
&
Michael.
My life is okay I guess. Some kids would call it 'perfect' but it is far from perfect.
My 'friends' used me for money, well except for Calum and Michael.
And I'm gay, it's not an issue for me, but for some people it may be. They get bullied for it. I don't stand up for them, I'm to 'afraid' to.
I dont know who gets bullied. I make it look like I watch, but i can't, it just tears me apart.
I walked into math class saying bye to Cal, and Mikey.
They aren't gay, well they haven't told me. They always blush if I say something about them, then they always cuddle when they think I'm not looking.
The whole class I wasn't paying attention, like usual. This is my first year here, it's the middle of the school year though.
After a few more classes it was lunch! I sat at the regular table, only me Mikey, and Cal. Nobody sits with us at lunch, I don't care though, if they did they would just ask for me to buy them lunch.
Today felt different, I felt like someone is missing, well I always do, because I'm single. But it wasn't like that. It felt like someone particular, someone near. But I'm mean 665 students in one room, had to find one specific person?
It felt weird.
I looked around a bit, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
"Whatcha looking for mate?" Calum asked looking at me.
"I honestly don't know" I said eating my food.
We all went silent again.
After lunch I was getting ready for science when I got a text.
I looked at the text, but didnt even reply.
Until I bumped into someone.
"Shit" i mumbled.
"Sorry! I wasn't looking" I said.
When I looked up a kid, I've never seen before stood in front of me.
He was cute.
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How is it!! Feedback?
Here is the first chapter. The picture is so flipping cute!
