departing from zero

I wonder if he'll ever find happiness?

It's been a month and one week since shisui announced his engagement, everything been ok shisui and eko were as happy as ever. Itachi trying his best to support his friend the best he can, but the pain is getting worse, and his family is constantly worrying about him. Mikoto been spending more time with him and babying him, his father hasn't been as hard on him as he used to, and sasuke been spending a lot more time with him.

No one has grown suspicious of itachi yet, he has looked more pale and drain then usual and isn't showing as much emotions as he used to.

Shisui noticed the different in his behavior, he'd asked itachi many times about it, but he always shrugged it off as work is getting to him.

Right now him, kakashi, obito, and shisui are all hanging out at obito and kakashi's apartment, itachi at first didn't want to go and they practically had to drag him out.

They all sat in the living room drinking a couple beers and talking about random things, well mostly shisui, kakashi, and obito.

Itachi was quiet the whole time, he was busy trying not to show the pain he's feeling. He's near shisui and the pain in his chest hurt him oh so badly, it was a suprised he was able to keep a straight face.

" What about you itachi? "

" Hmm "

" We're talking about what kind of drinks to have at the wedding, should we have things like bloody Mary's, cocktails and stuff or what? "

" This is shisui's wedding we don't have a word in this, I think him and eko should discuss this "

Itachi said in the most emotionless voice he could do, the pain was getting more intense and he didn't know if he could take much longer of it.

" Hey itachi You alright? "

" I'm perfectly fine, why do you ask? "

" Well this last month you've changed, you started to show less feelings and you moved back in with your parents. Are you sure you're alright? "

" Yes I'm fine it's just my mother was just worried about me, and heard of my schedule. She didn't want me to faint out because of exhausted, so I simply moved back in so she'll stop worrying "

" Are you sure itachi?, Your not hiding anything are you? "

" No "

" Aww come on guys if itachi was hiding something, he would of told me. After all I am his best friend "

" Yeah "

' oh how wrong you are shisui '

" It's getting pretty late guys, I'm going to head home "

" What you heading home so soon "

" Yeah I got work in the morning, so I have to- "

Before he could finish his sentence he felt his head get light, and his eyes get heavy and fell to the ground. He saw shisui looking at him with a worry look and his vision soon went black.

When he woke up he saw himself in a room he didn't recognize, but turned his head and saw his mother looking at him with worried eyes.

" Oh thank Goodness you woke up "

" What happened? Where am I? "

" You passed out in obito and kakashi's apartment and shisui brought you back here "

" Oh I see "

" It's only getting worse at this point I think you might die before shisui's wedding itachi "

" I can't die I refuse to die, I must see him happy before I go "

" Yes but your getting worse, just try not to over do it itachi "

" I know '

Sasuke bursted open the door and saw itachi, he ran over to him and looked at him with worried eyes.

" Are you ok?, I heard what happened "

" I'm fine sasuke I just had a little episode that's all, I'm quite tired I'm going to go bed "

Itachi went to his room and layed on the bed and was looking up at the ceiling, and he heard someone knock on the door.

" Come in "

Shisui walked in and sat next to itachi, and looked at him with a serious expression.

" Ok you got to tell me what's really going on, this is more than overworking yourself "

" You know how certain people could tell who there soulmate is, and the uchiha is famous for scenting this "

" Yeah "

" Well I've found my soulmate "

" Really that's great "

" I wasn't finished, I've found my soulmate but they haven't chosen me.
and I will long for him with such intensity that it will destroy me "

" What but we have to find this person, and tell them "

" It's complicated shisui this person loves another, besides what could I possibly give this person "

" Your heart itachi your the most kindest and gentless person I've ever met, anyone would be glad to be your soulmate your so selfless and do everything for others "

" They have a fiance shisui, I can't just break them up because I want to live. That would be selfish of me, besides i have much time to live, I've come to terms that I'm dying and so has my family "

He hears sniffling and turns to see shisui crying, he gives shisui a hug and comfort him the best he can.

" But can't you find someone else "

" I can't I've chosen who my soulmate was since birth, yes i can surely just go out and tell any random person I'm there soulmate. But I'll be unhappy and so will that person, and I don't want to cause unhappiness. I want to be able to come home and be greeted by this man. Hug him, kiss him, and share happy and bad memories , I want to hold them tight and make love to them, I want to love this man unconstitutional and be happy "

" That was beautiful itachi, I'm sorry I recommend for you to just sleep with some random person. I want more than anything for you to have that "

" Yeah but not all dreams can come true, but don't worry I'll make it until your wedding "

" That doesn't matter, I just want you to know I love you your like a brother to me, I'm going to miss you "

" So am I, I'm for doing this to you "

" Don't be, I understand "

Itachi whipes shisui's tears away and kisses him on the forehead, shisui blushes a little.

" What was that for? "

" Just for comfort, now get going home I'm sure eko worried sick about you "

" Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow "

" Yeah "

Shisui leaves and left itachi alone, once he thought he left he clenched his shirt and closed his eyes. He let out a couple tears, it hurts it hurts so much, but he'd rather suffer like this then make shisui unhappy, besides I'd be over in no time.

maybe then, if I had a little bit more courage and stood before you, would things be different