first love // stephen curry

5. love galore

*love galore-sza, travis scott*

jordyn🏀

"saturdays, a time where i get a break from everything. making time for myself and my needs. doing stupid shit that i enjoy. partying, getting high, drunk--is an idea what some teenagers prefer, but i never felt comfortable doing any of that considering i didn't believe getting high or drunk could bring me happiness."

i sighed as i read out a piece of writing from my old journal, knowing how accurate it was, this 'random thought' of mine didn't change one bit. as i turned the pages i found a photo of my dad, seeing it was captured at the hospital the day i was born, he looked so happy to see me, knowing he had a baby girl that day, and nothing could ruin the day. tears rushed down my checks, i wasn't able to control my emotions, i lost my father, the day i ended things with wardell... it was the worst day of my life, i could never forget a day like that

july 6, 2015

i quickly wiped my tears, remembering he won't want this, never, my father would never want me crying over him, he wants me to reflect from this experience and build from it, not let this bring me down. i just feel like i brought him down and my poor mother... by dating an overage male, that didn't bring me joy at all.

***

"my saturday night: going out with someone, that doesn't love me for me"
-jordyn brown

"took you long enough" khaild rolled his eyes as he opened the door of his white range rover for me

"i tried looking nice" i looked down at myself, seeing i was wearing light washed jean shorts and a black cami, that i had recently purchased from brandy melville. i knew khaild savored girls that dress like this, and all i ever wanted was for him to be happy around me

"tried" he laughed to himself, causing me to be damaged, he never acknowledges me for me

"what that motherfucker say to you?" khaild spoke, not making eye contact, instead had his eyes focus on the road

"ummm nothing... i just told him to back off" i laid off details, knowing i didn't want him knowing what actually went down

"mhmm... that bitch thinks he's the shit ever since he earned his ass on the team" khaild ranted

i rolled my eyes in disapproval, stephen worked for the spot on the school's team, not by doing charity work, but others think other ways.

i laid my head on the passenger seat, thinking of him again. his hazel eyes, muscle figure, him clenching his jaw, wearing grey sweats, his raspy voice, his smile, his anger, i was head over heels.

"jordyn were here" khaild told, shaking me

"oh" i jumped out of thoughts, realizing it was just a fantasy

"shit what happened to you" khaild smiled fixing my hair, noticing it was all messed up

"looks like i got caught up in my thoughts" i let a small laugh as we got out of car

"let's go before tickets are gone" khaild grabbed my hand pulling me closer to him as we began walking into the local movie theater. we looked like a couple, but it felt forced upon us

"if you don't feel butterflies, keep looking, my dear"
-daniel brown

***

as the movie finally ended we made our way back to khaild's car, but he grabbed my arm before i could open the door to let me inside. i met his eyes, seeing how good he looked this afternoon, by just wearing a plain black hoodie and grey sweats, his hair was nicely weaved into curls that made him look innocent.

"you look lovely" he whispered

i smiled after what a compliment he had given. he soon placed his hands on my waist, causing goosebumps to travel from my toes to my head. i was terrified of what was going in his mind, where his imagination was taking him right now.

"stay with me tonight... at my place" he smirked as he held me tight around my waist

i was surprised, khaild never has invited me over, and he wants me to spend the night... meaning he wants to make his move tonight, that's why he was being so nice to me, he knew how easy it was to manipulate me, and that's what he was trying to do

"khaild..." i moved away from him, not wanting to see that disgusting human being

"jordyn, come on" he begged

"take me home" i demanded

"what happened to the jordyn that fucking desired my attention" he yelled in disappointment

"i never craved your attention" i snapped back as i entered his car. he really was getting on my nerves

"i don't understand why i preferred you over... it doesn't matter now "  he rolled his eyes.

my 'so-called boyfriend' doesn't even love me, and he sure did prove it today. i cried to myself, not wanting him to know what i was feeling at the moment, knowing he would just use it against me

oh god, what did i do to deserve someone like him, i just wanted to find true love, have butterflies in my stomach when i was with him, feel blessed when i'm with him.

where is 'him', where do i find him, oh god please tell me

"go, before i change my mind" khaild bossed as the car came to a stop on the driveway of my home

I exited his range rover, making my way to the front of my home, but came to a stop. i looked over to my left, seeing 'him', he looked like he had a bad saturday himself, just like little J herself.

i felt butterflies, i touched my stomach, making sure it wasn't playing with me,  it wasn't, it was real butterflies

"wardell" i cried

***

favourite one so far :)

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