Forever Mine~ G.D

12

I've basically been pretending like I'm okay for almost a week now. Getting told to kill yourself isn't the most exciting thing in the world. I'm starting to feel like I'm getting more hate than love.

Ethan and Grayson have been gone to a meeting for a while now. I sort of wish that Grayson could be here with me, but I know that they need be at that meeting.

I walk into the kitchen and make myself a bowl of cereal, eating them in the silence of the empty house.

Kaleb isn't here either, he's at Audrey's, I'm assuming. I finish my cereal and continue to scroll through the comments on my recent Instagram post.

'I don't see what Grayson sees in her'

'She should kill herself lol'

'She doesn't deserve Gray, let alone anything at all'

I push back the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I know I shouldn't be affected by their comments, but their words really do hurt.

I go to my Instagram dm's to see them flooded with horrible messages, some that shatter my heart to pieces.

'I'd rather see you dead than with Grayson'

'Kill yourself'

'Just go die please and thank you :)'

'Go die in a hole'

'You're ugly, I don't know what Grayson sees in you'

'Kill yourself'

I throw my phone against the wall and sink to the floor. I rock back and forth, sobbing.

I stumble into my bedroom and look at myself, wearing a nike sports bra and shorts, and cry even harder.

"They're right." I slowly whisper. I'm too short, my hair is a mess, I'm a wreck. I'm too fat. Everything about me is horrible. I wonder what people would do if I wasn't here. Would they forget me?

I stumble back into the kitchen and pick up my phone, it barely works, but I'm able to call Grayson.

"Jos, Baby is there something wrong?"

"Come home, please I can't take it"

"I'm on my way, are you okay"

"No, Grayson. Hurry before I do something to myself"

"I'm on way, I'll be there soon Joslyn I promise. Everything's gonna be okay."

"Okay Gray. My phone is barely working."

My phone cuts off and I throw it against the wall again. I sit against the island with my knees to my chest, trying to keep myself from opening the drawer and getting a knife.

"I can't take it anymore." I rub my hand across the faint scars on my arm from last year.

I get up and open the drawer with my shaking hand. I slowly grab a sharp knife and close the drawer, my hand still shaking. I lean against the island for support and slowly start to reopen the six scars on my left wrist.

As I finish opening the fourth one, Grayson and Ethan walk inside.

"Grayson. Help me." I choke out.

Grayson immediately rushes up to me and I collapse in his arms, a sobbing bloody mess. He grabs a towel and covers the cuts and applies pressure. I suck in a breath from the pain.

"It's gonna be okay, Joslyn. I'm here." He whispers to me.

"I promised myself I wouldn't do this again." I whisper. He hugs me even tighter.

"I'm gonna clean this up okay." Grayson says. I nod and he helps me onto the island. I wipe my tears with my right hand and sniffle.

Grayson gets a first aid kit and turns around to face me. He looks at me with sadness in his eyes and I weakly smile at him.

"Grayson, there's blood on your shirt." I whisper.

"It's okay, I can get a new one." He takes it off so I don't have to see my own blood on him. He begins cleaning up the four fresh cuts on my wrist.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. He looks up at me and shakes his head.

"There's nothing you need to be sorry for." He looks at me and then kisses my forehead softly.

He carefully cleans the rest of the cuts and covers them up with a piece of gauze and tapes it on there.

"Thank you." I whisper. I wrap my arms around him and he wraps his around my small body.

"Anytime." He whispers.

"Why are we whispering?" I ask him.

"I don't know." He laughs.

I bust out laughing and we both laugh for at least five minutes.

"Grayson, we might have a problem." I walk over to my phone and pick up what's left of it. I smile sheepishly at Grayson and he chuckles.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" He inspects my phone, completely shattered to pieces.

"I might've threw it against the wall twice." I shrug. We both start laughing until the front door bursts open.

"Joslyn, oh my god you're okay." Kaleb runs to me and engulfs me into a hug. I sigh and he lets me go.

"I'm okay, Kaleb I promise. I'm so stupid and I regret it. And I would rather forget about it right now." I tell him. He nods and then looks at me and Grayson.

"Is there any reason why neither one of you wearing a shirt?" Kaleb eyes us suspiciously.

"I've been wearing this all day and I got blood on Grayson's shirt so he took it off. Nothing happened Kaleb, I promise." I laugh.

"Okay, but if anything happens between you two, be sure to use protection. I'm not ready to babysit yet." Kaleb wiggles his eyebrows and I flip off his retreating figure.

"What do you wanna do now?" Grayson wraps his arms around me and I lean into his back.

"I honestly just wanna sleep?" I sigh. He nods and we walk into my room.

"I'm gonna change clothes." Grayson says and I nod.

He walks into my bathroom and puts on a pair of shorts that he left in my room and crawls into bed. He motions for me to join him and I do.

"Thank you, Grayson." I whisper. I lay my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me.

"Anything for you, Jos." He whispers.

I'm definitely falling for Grayson Bailey Dolan.