Nothing Mattered

Jett's POV: Nothing Mattered But Him

Everything was damp from the rain the previous night. The rundown rides were rustier than usual, and the stale, harsh wind made my cheeks and nose rosy. The cherry of my cigarette was the only little bit of light that abandoned carnival had left. That sad excuse of a funfair, and a house of mirrors that only made you look at yourself as an obstacle. I was sitting in the broken down tea cup ride. Pen in hand, journal in the other, and smoke in my lungs. That was a regular spot for me, not just the tea cup; although a nice place to sit, but that forsaken festival.

When I was a kid, that was my favorite place to go. I wouldn't get to go all the time, but when I did get to, I took advantage of every moment. Riding every ride I possibly could with the amount of tickets my dad bought me. Some of the best moments of my childhood were spent there.

When I heard that place was shutting down, a little part of my heart broke. Even though I hadn't been there in years, knowing it wasn't going to be up and running anymore sort of made me uncomfortable. I liked thinking that kids like I used to be were wasting money on cotton candy that stained your tongue blue, or games that were rigged for you to get frustrated over. When I heard that popcorn wouldn't litter the street anymore, and screams weren't going to be heard from the thrill of all the rides, it definitely took a toll on me. A comfort was taken away.

So now, I'm a teenage cliche. Going back to my favorite place when I was a kid, just to see how rusted and broken down it got with age, just like I did. Writing poetry in my leather bound journal, with a cigarette between my lips that my parents didn't know about.

The only comfort was the smoke in my lungs, and the pen pressed against paper. I'm a much better writer than I am a talker. Everything just flows better onto paper, than out my mouth.

In the middle of my 3rd stanza of my 4th poem tonight, I heard gears turning, and then lights flickered on behind me, and the ground shook as Seattle's biggest Ferris Wheel began turning once again. "What the holy hell..." I muttered to myself before spilling out of the tea cup as if someone knocked it over. Seeing a shadow in one of the carts, as it moved closer and closer to the top. My feet hit the ground running, and my body could hardly keep up. I waved my arms above my head trying to get this persons attention "Hey!" I screamed, over and over again until, suddenly, just as the occupied cart was making it's way to the top, the lights flashed, and went out, and the ride stopped moving. "Fuck..."

I stopped mumbling curse words under my breath and thought well, I can't just leave him up there. I've sat in the carts before by climbing up the emergency escape ladder in the middle of the ride. Risky as it may be, it should be worth it. "Just hold on, I'm on my way!" I yelled, not sure if they could hear me.

Heights weren't a big deal to me, although falling was. I steadily climbed up the ladder one foot, one step, at a time. The metal was rusty, and most of the once white paint was now chipped off. Once I was level with the cart, I climbed out onto the connecting rods and crawled my way over to the cart jumping into it. The silhouette of a boy with one foot dangling out startled me. He didn't look back, he just kept his eyes on the ground. "Hey now...just, take a step back for me." I whispered, moving my feet closer to him and laying a hand on his shoulder. "Please."

The wind was worse higher up. The entire cart was rocking back and fourth. He slowly turned around and moved closer to me. "What're you doing up here?" I whispered, genuinely concerned. He was tall, shoulders broad, but hunched over as if embarrassment had taken over. He seemed to crumble at my touch. I even felt uneasy being up here, this Ferris Wheel was already deadly enough, could break at any moment, and that'd be the end of it. I couldn't even imagine how he felt.

I could see every breath we exhaled. "I was... just... looking." He managed to stutter out. Each word soft. He peered down at his feet. I took my hand and lifted his chin "Ya know you can look without dangling your feet off the edge..." I took a step over to the bench inside the cart and sat down. "They have rules on these things ya know? The biggest one being 'Keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.'" I wiped my nose, and my hand smelled of nicotine.