Forced Love - Thorki (Thor x Loki)

《 Chapter 5 》

I stood in front of a big bookshelf, my eyes flowed over them while trying to find an interesting one. Then my eye landed on one which was up high, it had a light blue spine with a symbol I could not see from down here. I stood on my toes and stretched out my arm, I could feel the book with my fingertips and I tried to stretch out a little more. I lifted up one leg and it felt like I got a little higher, then I reached my fingers a little more and I felt the book in my grip. I felt some relief when I felt the book in my hand, only this feeling was followed with me noticing that I had lost my balance. I saw my hair in my peripheral vision and felt the back of my head hit the hard wood floor. With my back against the floor my eyes registered the ceiling, it displayed the story of Mimir's Head and Odin's Eye. I was already familiar with this story because it involved my people, I did notice that it was told in a slightly different manner. The story which my father told about The Great Mimir showed his side of history, while this one showed Odin's. It was still accurate yet it changed the story enough to take all the heroism and greatness out of Mimir and to show him as a lesser than Odin. In the story I was told, both Mimir and Odin were displayed as great creatures but here the Asgardian had to be better and 'the evil frostgiant' was less. I felt like the comparison between my version and the Asgardian version of this tale accurately described how the people here treated me. I treated all that I accounted with respect, while they treated others as a lesser being. All the filthy looks they gave me, it made me sad that these people thought so highly of themselves while I am just as great as them.
Even the person I was forced to love looked at me like that, or at least I thought I remembered that look coming from his face. The only emotion I remember from his face was sadness and fright when I closed the door. The past 8 day's had been very lonely, usually I had Thor to entertain me and to keep me company but now I was all alone. I quite missed his company, all his jokes, the way he told tales and his clumsiness which always made me laugh. Thinking of him could make me smile and cry at the same time. He was so wonderful yet all the things he said and did made me feel incredibly miserable. I try not to fall in love with this man but the pain I felt when he told me he would never love was a type of pain I had not experienced before, it was a type of pain which involved love. This was not the only time I had felt a type of pain I had never felt before, the other pain was a pain of confusion and love. I felt it when Thor forced himself on me. I felt confused because it was the exact opposite of what he had said that afternoon. I felt love because when I saw him in tears I wanted to tell him it was not his fault and that that it was alright, when it was not. I wanted to comfort him but I was so hurt and it would have not been the right thing to do. I wonder what would have happened if I would have done it, maybe he would be by my side and not somewhere doing who knows what. All I know right now is that I have not had a maiden come up to me and tell me that he is dead, so I assume everything is fine.
I looked to my side and saw the book next to me on the ground, I could now see the symbol clearly. On the spine was a Vegvisir, the symbol of a compass. A Vegvisir would help a person if they were lost and I did feel kind of lost. I sat up and grabbed the book, I inspected it and luckily it was not damaged. The cover had a beautiful deep blue spine, I lifted up my sleeve and compared the colour to my skin. "The colour of the book might be pretty but it is nothing compared to you'' my whole body tensed up when I heard these words in that voice. I did not dare to turn around, it could have been my imagination. Then curiosity overpowered my brain and I wanted to know. I took a deep breath and turned my head to see what was behind me. There he stood, leaning against a pillar with his hammer in his hand. He looked like he had been in battle, which was probably true. I wanted to stand up and talk to him, ask him where he had been but all I could do was stare at him. It felt like the last time I had seen him and his beauty was ages ago. After a couple of seconds of neither of us doing anything Thor pushed himself off of the pillar he was leaning against and started to move towards me. I kind of panicked and turned back and looked at the book, after last time I was still kind of scared of him and I really did not know how I would react nor how I would feel when he would touch me and talk to me again. I felt a hand on my right shoulder and eyes looking at me, I wanted to look but I was too afraid and I kept my gaze on the book. "A vegvísir" he muttered in my ear, "to help the bearer find their way through rough weather" I whispered to myself. I do not know why but it felt like this book was destined to appear in my life, maybe it was because I was standing in a storm of fear and pain and I had no idea where to go nor what to do. My fingers glided over the symbol and I saw another hand appear on the cover of the book next to mine, this hand was not blue and it was bigger than mine. My fingers stopped moving when they came close to the other hand, at first I did not want our hands to touch because of what those hands had done to me but then I saw all the small cuts on the hand and how it looked in pain. My gaze changed from the book to his face and it took me aback, the beautiful face I remembered was covered in abrasions and one small laceration on his cheekbone. He did not look at me, his eyes were fixated on the book. My hand changed from the book towards his face and cupped his cheek, I slightly rubbed my thumb back and forth. He leaned his head in my hand and I felt him relax in the palm of my hand. Then I slowly pulled my hand away from his face and I grabbed the book, I stood up and I slowly walked towards a table and put the book down on it. I turned around and looked at this man who was still crouched on the ground and who looked kind of miserable. The feeling of fear inside of me slowly started to fade and pity took its place, his ambiance had changed from from confident to miserable and almost ashamed. Maybe I should walk away from him and show him that I do not care about him and that he could not hurt me like he did last time, I could establish my dominance. "Come with me" Thor looked up and at me, we looked at each other for a brief moment and the I started to walk towards solving our relationship.