Remember Me: A Jilly AU

Part 6-Saying Goodbye

"Is Jax going to be alright?"

Gilly was taken aback. She'd come to Anna's holding cell prepared to yell at her, hurt her for the way she'd hurt Jax. Sweet, innocent, handsome, Jax. But that certainly wasn't what she'd expected Anna to say.

"I don't know." she replied finally. "What was the smoke you threw at him?"

Anna flinched. "I didn't mean to-it was defense-an accident-"

"Rumpelstiltskin taught you." Gilly summed up. 

Anna's expression became hollow and desperate. "It's a last-resort kind of magic. A curse, but not a metaphysical one. It's just a 'pain' curse."

"What kind of pain?"

"You get hit with it directly, you'll either live in searing pain...or die."

A cold fist squeezed Gilly's heart. Jax...no. 

"How can we fix it?" she demanded. 

Anna was helpless. "If I could, I'd tell you-"

"This is your fault!" Gilly shouted, the force of her voice making Anna tremble. Gilly squeezed her eyes shut against tears. "If you hadn't done that stupid curse, if you hadn't thrown that boulder, if you hadn't-if I hadn't..."

Gilly brushed away tears. "No." she said softly. "It's my fault."

Anna looked up. "Gilly-"

"If I hadn't believed-if I hadn't hoped there was still something-there was any good left in you, if I hadn't believed you, he might still be here. If I hadn't trusted you."

Anna looked like she'd been sucker-punched. "Gilly, I-I never would have-"

"And now, my best friend is on death's door." Gilly sobbed. "And I didn't even know..."

"Know what?" Anna whispered, as if scared to say anything. 

Gilly opened the door. "Nothing."

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"...vitals are unstable." Brooke Lynn finished. "All our magic-the professors...I don't think he's going to make it."

Gilly said nothing. Her friends said nothing. 

Brooke Lynn opened her mouth, but thought better of it. She quietly exited the room, leaving Kayla, Ollie, Jocelyn, AG, Hayley, Maxine, and Gilly to stare at Jax, limp and cold in a hospital bed. 

Gilly stared at the prince. His face had gone paler. His eyes were shut, giving her no window to see the beautiful shade of violet she'd dreamed of the past few nights. His corn-colored hair was a rumpled mess-and he never would have normally allowed that. Gilly kept waiting for Jax to awaken and grab a hairbrush. 

Silent tears traced down Ollie and Kayla's faces. Maxine and the others stared at the ground, as if unable to comprehend the moment. After what could've been hours, the others slowly filtered out of the room, leaving Gilly alone with him.

Gilly didn't know what to feel. Jax had been her best friend for years. How had she not known he loved her? Their chemistry...the way he acted around her...

And now, more than ever, as she stared down at him, she was certain. She loved him too.

She loved the way he teased her. She loved how he could go from proper prince to rebellious rebel in seconds-for her, and only her. She loved the way his violet eyes sparkled. She loved the way he always backed her up-in fights, in battles, in anything. She loved his defensiveness, his protectiveness of her. She loved how he confided in her. She loved the way his violet eyes sparkled in the sunlight. 

And now, he was dying. 

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Hours later, Gilly found herself still at his bedside, her mind racing in so many directions it was dizzying. Ollie and the others had come by and said their farewells. Ollie spent an hour crying with her, worrying about him and what would happen next. They both knew Jax wouldn't want them to be beating themselves up, but Gilly couldn't help it.

She brushed a lock of hair from his face. 

His violet eyes slid open from behind his pale eyelids. Gilly stiffened in shock. "Jax?"

He looked deathly pale. "I-I-"

"No, don't say anything." hope was making Gilly's heart beat faster than a cheater. "Just rest-you need to make sure you-"

"Gilly." his voice was weak, but firm. Gilly had half-risen from her chair, about to call for her friends and Brooke Lynn. 

"What?"

"Did you ever..." he trailed off, looking worse. 

But Gilly understood. "Yes. Always."

He sort of half-smiled. 

"You idiot." she smiled, forcing back tears. "You pushed me out of the way."

"You would've done it for me."

Gilly knew it was true. But her guilt grew worse, gathering around her heart like a black concrete shell. 

"Remember me." he whispered.

"You jerk. Like I'd ever forget."

Gilly's emotions ran a thousand different directions, solidifying into an ice-cold wasteland, as Jax closed his eyes, for the last time.