seven letters | j.p

letter two

Dear Joel,

I told you not to call me but you still did. Stubborn but I still like you haha. Just how you're stubborn, I'm so needy and I hate it. I'm clingy, aren't I? Are you sure you chose right? Haha, only joking.

Needy. That's what I am and trust me, I hate knowing I'm needy. It's like knowing you're the annoying one in your friend group and believe me, it's a horrible feeling. Maybe it's because I never got a dog (haha) or maybe it's just cause I'm whipped. There, I said it.

I don't know why I'm so damn needy. I miss you when you're gone for a few hours and I smother you with kisses when you come back. I always have to hold your hand or hang on your belt loops. Maybe it's me being crazy but I feel this icy feeling crippling from my toes when your touch leaves my body. I've always read in those dumb cliche teen books how addicting a touch can be and I would say it was total bullshit. Well... look at me now. I know my neediness can be overbearing and not always appropriate. I know I embarrass you and I'm sorry about that.

I'm aware that my texts maybe bother you but I can't go one full day without at least checking in. You know, as I wrote that, I sound possessive. Am I? I hope not :( I told myself I wouldn't when I got a boyfriend. This is what happens when you date a complete newbie.

I'm sorry about my mood swings too, I don't mean them. I've been through a lot and it's not your fault. I push you away and for that I'm sorry. But usually, I can't leave you alone when I feel down. I just need your body against mine and I'll feel fine. I know you can't always be with me so I just miss you. God, I sound so clingy. I sound like a fucking monkey!

Sorry about that time I got super drunk and wouldn't stop kissing you. What the hell was I even thinking? Going out and getting completely wasted? Stupid Rhea. I know I made you super uncomfortable and I can understand if you think I was the worse girlfriend at the moment. Heck, I've tried to take your shirt off! And don't even mention the fact that I told you I wanted you to make me yours that night. My face is so red right now just reimagining that.

If you even try to deny that I'm needy then why do you call me princess? They're so needy it's kinda annoying. And what am I? Needy. And what does needy equal to? Annoying. It sounds cute, I'm not gonna lie. Having your hot boyfriend call you princess in that low tone is the sexiest thing ever but sometimes it just reminds me of how needy I am. Maybe I'm just overthinking that but see? Needy! Jesus, I've said that word so much that I myself am getting annoyed.

I'll understand if you're tired of my neediness. I'd be too. Who the hell neglected me for me to be so damn needy? Oh right, my parents hahaha.

This letter is pretty short but if I write that word one more time, I swear I'll pinch myself. It doesn't even sound like a word anymore. You know how I always mouth the words when I scan for errors? I'm bound to get a headache along the way.

Your needy girl,

princess rhea

p.s. I did pinch myself as promised. As you can read, the vinyl I have left you is Help! by the Beatles. Listen to all of them as you please but listen to track 4 with much attention. It's basically my thoughts and feelings in a song.

also, I love you.

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I know I'm starting so many books right now and I don't know why. I'm crazy. I'll only get a bigger headache lol

Big thanks to sophiathebohemian, kawathepawa , and ary_x_cnco for already adding this book to their list! Gracias por su apoyo! ❤️❤️

-m