ex nihilo | fyodor dostoyevsky x reader

ʜᴜᴍɪʟɪᴛʏ

Humility

ɢᴏᴅ'ꜱ ɢʀᴀᴄᴇ, ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟꜱ ᴇxɪꜱᴛ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ ᴡᴀꜱ ʜᴀʀᴍꜰᴜʟ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴏʀʀɪᴅ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛ ɪꜱ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ꜱᴀᴛᴀɴ, ɢᴏᴅ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ.

. . .

Now, to tend to the present objective - beating Fyodor in this little mental showdown of yours.

Surprisingly, your opponent didn't do anything. He allowed you to take the first round, not without a reason. You simply had to figure it, and perhaps, with that knowledge, play the right move.

The task was started off with mild fear. It was welcomed, as it forced you to think quick and sharp. You lay out the options in front of you with one graceful sweep of your mind, only to observe the numerous justifications. A single slide of your intuition, and there you had it, the first conclusion: there shouldn't be such a vast, suffocating amount of freedom. You didn't like it, it felt unnatural, it couldn't be right.

It may appear absurd to think about it, but you truly couldn't decide what to say. Predicting and preparing for Fyodor's answer would then prove impossible, and you'd be forced to act on the run. Your response would follow, he'd beat it, you'd crush his in turn, and so on, to eternity and back. There was simply too much to consider, too much to take in.

On a whim, you came to realize that your opening sentence couldn't be picked. And as if to check if he was impatient, you glanced at him just for a moment. No warning came, instead, as if you were encouraged by his sleepy, disoriented characteristics. Vaguely absent.

Therefore, you could move on.

Your starting assumption was that you couldn't start. If that was so, if you couldn't begin, and if he gave you the choice, if he did, then wouldn't it be right to think: you shouldn't even begin.

Because, now that you imagine the situation all over again, and if you try to fight with him, wouldn't it be pointless? You, defending the heart, thus emotion and all the life it brought to a man - in other words, the qualities that give the trait "humane" to man. Fyodor, defending the mind, and all its cold logic and reason, raw intelligence that too defined man.

These two are present in every man; they couldn't be determined as two clear notions as they were without any doubt connected, and of course, did not work alone. There were plenty of both interior and exterior factors that affected both the mind and the heart, and neither of them would be considered to work properly in no human being. The reality was quite the contrary - both of these would fail oftentimes, to devastating measures. As a result, to view emotion and reason as a pair of ideal sets, working in their prime, would be meaningless.

These two could be seen as opposing concepts, or at least, were supposed to be presented in such a manner, for you two should argue and prove which one is essential to man -

Essential? Another questionable category. What should be seen was essential? Or useful, for that matter? Where to look at? The development of civilization, or a single person's experience? All of it was awfully debatable, to the point you were almost certain that truce was out of question. Even if you two were to come to a firm opinion on your own, would it matter?

Just take an alternate viewpoint and your theory would crumble, and you would be forced to confute it all, discard it as another hypothesis would make way.