ATEEZ (Imagines, Scenarios, AUs, and More!)

Sneezy, Sleazy Seonghwa (Park Seonghwa)

Genre: I have absolutely no idea what this is–
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and a very sleazy, suggestively-commenting Seonghwa (Seonghwa stans, read at your own risk.)
Summary: Seonghwa the Sleazy™ is at his local lounge, but his plans of a nice hookup for the night get ruined by some unwelcome allergies.
A/N: So this is literally a crack post idea that I'm doing in joint with Dream  that happened when we were going over ideas for her Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs AU for ATEEZ. When we decided on Seonghwa as being Sneezy (Sneezy Seonghwa) I had to make the genius comment of how that sounds like "Sleazy" Seonghwa, and now... here we are, writing this crack. Here's my take on it, and be sure to check out hers too! (Also this style is a little different from my usual; I'm writing in third-person past tense, so yeah... this should be interesting... [especially since I literally had to google pick-up lines xDD])

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Seonghwa walked into the lounge with a cool smile, greeting the bartender with the usual nod.

"Ah, Seonghwa! Your usual?" the man asked.

"A scotch.... And a girl," Seonghwa confirmed with a laugh.

The bartender grinned as he prepared the drink. "Well, we have a lot of ladies here tonight. I'm sure you'll get to know one before the night is over."

Seonghwa's grin was cut off with a violent sneeze.

"Oof, bless you," the bartender laughed.

"Ugh, it's my allergies," Seonghwa scowled, pinching his nose. "The wind has been kicking up all the pollen lately. I don't suppose you keep any allergy meds back there?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Hwaseong," the bartender laughed, using his nickname, "but nothing's back here besides alcohol and aspirin."

Seonghwa sighed. "All right, I'll manage."

"I'm sure you will." The bartender slid the drink over to him. "There you go. And good luck tonight, my friend! We have lots of ladies, but they seem to be a bit of a tough crowd tonight."

Seonghwa grinned. "I do love a challenge."

Just then, a young lady sauntered up to the bar, sliding onto the barstool next to Seonghwa. He gave her an easy smile, fingering the rim of his drink before taking a sip, his gaze lingering on her curvaceous figure.

"A martini, please," she told the bartender, who quickly hustled off to prepare it.

Meanwhile, Seonghwa was sizing her up, trying to decide which lines would work for her. He finally settled on, "Well, I had a terrible day, but seeing you right now just made me forget even my own name!"

She laughed and gave a friendly eye roll. "Well, you move fast."

"In more ways than one," Seonghwa winked, and a blush crept up the young lady's face.

"Here's your drink, miss," the bartender interrupted, sliding the martini over to her and giving Seonghwa a subtle wink, mouthing, "good luck", before shuffling off to serve the other customers.

"A martini – a nice choice," Seonghwa continued smoothly. "Fruity and exotic."

Her brow quirked and her rouge-painted lips lifted in a faint smirk. "You know your drinks, then?"

"A little," Seonghwa said, lifting his shoulders in a modest shrug. "I know what I don't like... and what I do." He tilted his head slightly and gave her a knowing smile. She gave a delicate cough in return, taking another sip of her cocktail. "What about you? Do you know what you like?"

Now it was her turn to tilt her head in thought, her gaze sliding back over to Seonghwa. "Well... yes, I'd say so."

He grinned. "Mind if I ask the qualifications?"

"Hm... sweet, smooth, a nice blend of hot and cold, and maybe a bit of an addicting thrill," she mused, leaning back a little with a sultry lip-bite.

"And what would the name of that drink be?" Seonghwa asked smoothly.

She gave a coy smile. "Whatever your name is."

Mentally congratulating himself, Seonghwa quirked a finger at her, motioning for her to come closer. She did, leaning towards him and affording him a teasing glimpse down her dress. He leaned in close, his lips by her ear as he whispered, "Seonghwa."

There was a smile in her voice as she said, "Well then, Seonghwa... I'll have one of you."

Seonghwa grinned, the heady, flowery scent of her perfume gently washing over him and –

Suddenly, a familiar tickle began in his nose, and he jerked away from her, just in time to turn away as he let out an embarrassingly loud sneeze.

"Oh! B-bless you," she laughed awkwardly.

"Sorry," Seonghwa managed sheepishly, but just then, another waft of her floral perfume drifted over to him, and he let out another sneeze. And another. And another.

"A-are you alright?" She was standing by him awkwardly, one hand resting on his shoulder.

"Your... perfume," Seonghwa managed between sneezes. "Allergies..."

She winced. "Oh – I'm sorry – bartender! Water please, quickly!"

The bartender hustled over with a glass of iced water. "Oof, here you go," he said, quickly sliding it over. The girl grabbed it and brought it closer to Seonghwa, then proceeded to back away.

"I'm sorry," she said again awkwardly. "Um, have a nice night?" And she walked away.

"No – don't go–" Seonghwa tried to say, but final wave of her perfume drifted over him, and he was again reduced to doubling over in a sneezing fit.

When it finally passed, the girl was long gone, and he was alone at the bar, save for the bartender, who was watching him pityingly. Seonghwa grumbled out a swear. "Stupid allergies."

The bartender grimaced. "Well... this is a singles bar..."

"At this rate I'm gonna stay single," Seonghwa grumbled, but another mysterious wave of flowery perfume drifted by, and he bolted from the bar with a final swear, pinching his nose and trying to hold back the sneeze attack.

Seonghwa was no fool – he knew when to accept defeat with the ladies, however rare it was. But to be defeated by a sneeze? This was something new.

In the end though, the flowery, allergy-irritating perfumes got the better of him, and he was forced to leave the bar.

As he sat in the relative scent-safety of his car, Seonghwa grumbled, "Smooth Seonghwa who? More like Seonghwa the Sneezy."

And he sneezed again.

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(@ Dream, "F = Find a new fandom, cause I'm about to get kicked out of Atiny LMAO")