Rasputina and the Witch's Tsar

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Her name was Chionya Guseva, a follower of the priest Iliodor. Just another religious fanatic who believes you work dark magic or something." Kas throw the police sketches onto my bedsheet. Until I heal, the tsarina requested I be moved to the hospital in Tyumen. It was supposed prevent any more copycat murder attempts outside my home.

I think tsarina Nikolai simply didn't trust me. Dead or alive.

I turn my head out the window as Kas paces back and forth by my bedside.

"You shouldn't have come here." I croak.

"Your would-be murderer was let loose on charges of insanity. Do you think I'd let that go so easily?" He waves me away. "And besides, if I wasn't here, who would keep you up to date on all this information?"

"Leave." I tell him. "Check on Ursula."

"Rasputina, I am not going to leave you."

He stares me down, and I meet his gaze. I try to muster up every ounce of disdain in it, hoping he'll break. He shakes his head as he notices the shift. My jaw set, teeth clenched. "What's happened to you? Is it the royals? Have they duped you too?"

"Nothing has changed about me."

"I get that you're afraid after the assassination attempt, but—."

We stop talking as soon as we hear the sound of footsteps ringing from down the hall.

"Maria?" Tsar Alexandr leans against the doorframe, holding a bouquet of flowers. "How are you feeling?" He stops as he sees Kaskil waiting on me. "I'm sorry, and you are?"

I turn to Kaskil, staring down at him. "You are dismissed."

"You'll treat me like a common servant after all we've been through?"

It's an unbearable pain, worse than the dull ache of my still-healing wound. But he's a father now, and Ursula needs him alive. I can't subject anybody else to this horrible world of murder and imprisonment and exile. He might resent me now, but it's better he resents me while living as opposed to being buried somewhere in Siberia.

"I have matters to discuss with the tsar."

Kaskil's face shifts, the eyes darkening in anger. He looks between me and Alexandr, his lips twisting up into a snarl. Just as quickly, he drops it. No emotion at all. Almost worse than that flash of feral instinct. Nothing.

I have become nothing in order to spare him from his horrible, murderous world.

"Miss Rasputina." Kaskil performs an overdone version of a servile bow, no longer making eye contact with me in his silent fit of rage.

Tsar Alexandr leaves the flowers at my bedside table, next to my untouched jam and toast. "I see now isn't a good time."

"I'm tired."

Alexandr's pale eyes flutter to my bandaged abdomen, then back to my face. "Then I'll leave you to your rest.

I pretend to fall asleep again. When Kas and Alexandr's footsteps finally disappear down the hall, I reopen them. Turn onto my side despite the throbbing pain and stare out the window.

Agapi vanished. I need Kaskil and Ursula to do the same. Ignore tsar Alexandr's advances. Only take care of Alexei when they call upon me. I cannot allow anyone to get close to me. I've angered too many people. I'm a threat to everyone I love.

If I die, I must die alone.