Rasputina and the Witch's Tsar

Chapter Twenty-Three

I barge into the nursery. Alexandr's reading the children a bedtime story. Alexei is propped at his knee, staring adoringly at the pictures of a little bear prancing in the snow. Pawprints lovingly drawn in ink. Alexandr mimics the low growl of the bear, smiling as the children clap for more.

         "Miss Rasputina." A nod. I pace the room like a caged lioness, waiting for him to finish his story. When he does, he puts the book down. The children jump up, ready to pretend to be knights at a joust. Alexei is the squire, fetching swords made of paper for his elder siblings. Happy to be included, to be treated as a child instead of a glass doll.

         "Alexandr..." I whisper, ignoring all pretenses of place or hierarchy. I rush to him, take his hand. He balks but doesn't lift his arm away. "The duke wants to shove me in a snowbank and pray I never reappear. Your wife suspects us."

         "Nikola's not stupid." He bites his lower lip, a frown overwhelming his pretty face. "She sees everything. Yet she allows it because she believes in power above all else. So long as she has power, who cares for me?"

         "Will the people believe that love conquers all? Or will they bring out a guillotine like they did in France all those years ago? The people starve as we climb for power and sex. Is that justice to you?" I slap my hand against my face, wanting it to bruise until I'm as hideous as can be. The monster I am. "War's on the horizon. I dream of cities burning. People, little more than skeletons. And last night, I dreamt of people like you. Children like Alexei. Running in terror, and..."

         Alexandr holds me tight in his arms, shushing me. His shaky exhale running through my hair. "They are just dreams."

         I laugh, pulling away. "Tell that to Cassandra as she watched Troy fall to ruin."

         "You're jealous." He says.

         I shove him away. The children stop playing, all eyes turning to me. A smile on my part, and they go back to playing. Subdued. Alexandr turns those widened eyes on me, startled.

         "A woman speaks her truth, and she's told that she's just jealous? True love doesn't know jealousy. It demands more than simple possession. It is the ability to love so fully that I couldn't care less if you had a thousand more children by a thousand more lovers!" The words come out as a whisper, so as to not scare the children further, but they carry as much impact as a scream. "I'm angry because I'm scared for you. They can tear me to shreds, but if they killed you, Alexandr.... I..." I hiccup, the words torn from an empty place. "I love you."

         Alexandr looks at me then, with those eyes like soulful mirrors, and takes a single dark curl, winding it around his finger. It laces across his wedding band. Soft as a kiss. A promise.

         "You admit it then?"

         I hang my head, slipping from his grasp. "I want to hurt everyone who tries and hurt us. The duke wants me dead, but it's not me I fear he'll ruin. He wants to hurt you. Your name. Your legacy. Alexei is nothing but a potential threat. Not a child, just an inconvenient distraction between the duke and the tsarina." I laugh. "If magic and death were a simple enough answer, the duke would be lying in a shallow grave. But that is not how power's won. Not if I claim I'm sent by God and not the devil." I stare into those eyes. So clear. Near as innocent as can be. "I'll save you. All of you. Even if I have to die to do it."

         "You think you're some saint?" Alexandr challenges, chin raised high.

         I grin, a shrug. "Close as you're ever going to get."