More for You, Less for Me (JENLISA COMPLETED)

25 - When She's Still Into You

A/N: DONT. HATE. ME.

LISA

Minutes have already passed since Jennie left but I was still stunned trying to take in everything that just happened. As if having a mind of their own, my eyes started to water and I suddenly burst into tears as I remember how she removed herself from me wordlessly saying that whatever we shared moments ago were all part of a huge fucking mistake.. and so I said the only thing I think was most appropriate that time, "I'm sorry..Jennie" I'm sorry for letting my heart out, though I only whispered that last part to myself. And now the emotions I've long been holding in since then exploded without reservations or any of that sort.

Jennie is an incredible woman, that much is true. I couldn't fathom how a single woman can make me experience one of the happiest moments of my life and at the same time, the most painful one. Jennie did that though, and for that I must say she truly is one of a kind woman.

I was in that vulnerable state for I dont exactly know how long until I heard my phone ring. I lifted myself off the pool and walked to the chair where I left my phone earlier.

R calling. . .

I hesitated for a moment before I decided to press the answer button. "Hi Roseanne, what's up?" I tried my best to sound cheerful despite my heart aching.

"L, you dont sound too well, are you okay, what happened? Tell me." Roseanne sounded so worried over the phone I almost gave in and tell her what transpired earlier.. but I didn't. Nobody needed to know that. I dont want anybody to know that Jennie Kim, the famous singer, was making out with a woman. No, I dont want to risk her career. Its best if I go through this alone.

"What, now? I'm fine, Roseanne!! What are you even talking about? Why did you call anyway? You wanna hangout with me?" Fuck. Stupid Lisa. You had the audacity to invite her to hangout when you look like a mess right now. You are totally not in the mood to hangout. But that seemed like the best thing to say at the time to divert the topic. I sighed.

"Well, about that, you can say it like that.. actually, I have a mini-gig at my cousin's bar and I'm going to sing a few songs.. Chanyeol kinda forced me into this sooo.. since I remember you still owe me, I-- I wanted you to hear me sing live, just like the old times," she stammered and I can almost see Roseanne's face beet red and smiling nervously like the way she used to when we were still together.

Honestly, I wanted to say no. I cant, because I'm not fine. But if I do that, she'll suspect even more. I'd also feel guilty if I reject her, its been awhile since I last heard her sing, and I didn't forget about that promise at the mall. "Okay, sure R. I'll be there.
Just text me the address. I couldn't miss your stellar performance. Be sure to wait for me, okay?"

"Of course, L. You know I'd only sing for you." I hinted a tone of longing from her voice but I just shrugged it off. I grabbed a towel from the towel rack and proceed to take a quick shower before going to the bar.

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JENNIE

My mind is currently swirling with contrasting thoughts I might go insane while driving a fucking car.

I shouldn't have left her like that. You know you enjoyed every moment of it and you loved every piece of her, Jennie. Why do you keep on denying that?

No, you did the right thing, Jen. You're already taken for pete's sake!! And you're not gay, Jennie!! You CANT be gay. You know what happens to artists in this industry who come out as gay. Korea is not yet prepared for that. Kai. You should direct all your love, lust, desire, and whatever it is you harbor towards Lisa into Kai instead.