More steps and more steps. I decide to take the stairs instead of the elevator because I don't want to have a heart attack in there. My heart is about to burst out of my chest.
Okay maybe I didn't go with the plan exactly. I sorta stayed in a motel for the night because I felt like it was too late at night to go up to their door.I mean what if they were- I shiver.
This is all heart wrenching, all the pain from yesterday is hitting me like bullets. I just want to go home.now, but I am doing this for myself, right?
I land right in front of the door, it slightly mocking me. Here goes nothing. I lightly knock, kinda hoping they wouldn't hear and I could just go home to my non-evicted home.
The door opens without even further notice, no rustling or anything. And I'm frozen. My feet are stuck to this stupid, brown carpet and my face looks like a deer in headlights. I can almost cry. I need to stop the crying thing.
Ryan stands in the doorway, leaned up against the frame with the same expression I probably am giving.
"Brendon?" He says as if he is trying to make sure it was really me. I almost forgot about the makeover, I almost forgot about the suits and the new haircut because all I could think about was him. Seeing him made me feel like myself, but broken at the same time.
"Hey." I say quietly, my voice cracks. He just stands there, looking at me then glancing away.
"Can I help you..?" He drags on and I realize I'm being the creepy one. Shit. He doesn't even want me here, he thinks I'm a weird guy that showed up his door just to stare at him. Well that's mostly true.
I cough. "Oh, Yeah." I attempt to try and laugh it off but I think my eyes are giving me away. "So Hi, um I know this is weird and all but...."
"Brendon." He begins. "What do you want?" He cuts me off. I was just about to get to the point goddammit, did you not see me leading up to why I'm here?
"Well I was just going to ask if I could, I dunno, stay at your place awhile because my house got uh- evicted." I tried saying because I'm not a good liar when it comes to Ryan. He stares at me with a wide expression, and looking back into his house.
"What about Spencer or Pete? They would let you stay with them." He glares and I tense a little. God, he's suggesting other people and making me feel stupid.
"Spencer is busy and Pete said I couldn't." I say to quickly and obviously before I could even think. He shifts a little before saying.
"Then why would I let you stay?" He says kind airily which kind of--no-- really broke my heart again.
"Well it's okay I guess, I'll just sleep on the streets." I sigh and begin to slowly walk away, my back turned away from him.
"Wait." I hear him call and I put on a little smile. Spencer was right. I turn around with my puppy eyes, but I'm not doing them on purpose. "Why don't you just get a new house? Your filthy rich." He says as I walk over to him, keeping a large distance.
I bite the inside of my cheek. I have not thought this through, and neither has Pete. So I say something stupid. "Haven't you heard? I got robbed." I little with a hysterical laugh which makes it seem like I lost mind, fitting the pity character perfectly.
"I'm sorry." He said with no emotion at all. He hates me. "You can stay for a little bit." He says and goes inside, I follow reluctantly. I don't want to I don't want to-- there it is. The big boyfriend.
"I was wondering where you- Oh Hey!" Dan said and got up off the couch where I assume I am sleeping. I take a moment and take in the house desgin. It's very homey with a lot of shades of tan, black, grey, blue, and white.
"Hello." I say as he shakes my hand. I try not to twist it and rip his arm off. "I'm Brendon." I fake a smile. I hate this guy so much.
"Hey. I'm Dan. I think we met before, but if we did, I notice the haircut." He chuckles and I chuckle along, wanting to kill him.
I glance over at Ryan who was staring wide-eyed, obviously creeped out because two guys he had dated are in the same room. I almost want to make a smart ass comment, but I'm on a mission.
"He's going to stay with us for awhile." Ryan tell's Dan and I kind of want to hit him for talking to Dan. "And Brendon." He says quite with a bit of rudeness. "This is my boyfriend, just so you know." He emphasizes the boyfriend word like a smartass. He's just trying to make me jealous. It's working, but he doesn't know that.
"How sweet." I'm playing his own game now. "I'll make sure I leave before you guys have sex." I wink at him and turn around to pick up my bag, purposely sticking my ass out. I'll make it seem like I don't care, trust me it burns my chest, but I have to go with the plan.
I hear Ryan grumble something before leaving the room. I pick out some plaid pj bottoms and a grey t-shirt. Dan just sort of looks in the hallway, probably wondering if Ryan's okay. Probably not, but my situation is worse. My heart is breaking as he crumbles it in his hands, I obey rules to get him to love me. I'm a mess.
Ryan comes back with blankets and pillows. "Here. Sleep on the couch." He boredly says as he violently throws a couple blankets and pillows on the couch.
He gives me one last long look before he grabs Dan's hand and leaves down the hall, into their bedroom. I just watch. It burns and stings.
I get dressed and I set up my new sleeping spot on the couch. I feel uncomfortable because what if they had sex on here? A tear escapes my eye because of all emotional events that have happened today.
I sigh heavily and reach for my lyric book and write.
"You're hearts a mess.
It makes no sense, but I'm desperate to connect.
You can't live like this.
Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't wanna waste my love." - Day 1.
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Your Hearts A Mess. (Ryden Fanfic)
FanfictionIt's been 1 year since the split. Brendon isn't taking things to well, even with the help of Spencer, he still feels like a big piece of himself was taken out. So he takes matter into his own hands and deals with the problem but only to find out tha...
