LAYLA! & THE UNTOLD STORIES OF LOVE

"𝐀 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑?"- chapter seven

Jan 20, 1994

In Birmingham, I'm back in my comfort zone – at work. For the last few days I've been in the O.R. almost constantly, either working directly with another surgeon or performing our new laser techniques myself for an audience of doctors from around Europe. Tomorrow I go back to London.

It's almost nine when I get back to the hotel and I immediately undress and get in the bathtub. I think I've taken more bubble baths in the last week than in my previous 34 years, but after a long soak I'm relaxed enough to sleep. Or at least what passes for sleep with me – a half-hour nap. I put on the hotel robe and lay down on the bed. I'm drifting off when I'm woken by a knock on the door. Hmmm I think, I didn't order room service.

"Who is it?"

"It's Jimmy, Alexia".

I didn't remember telling him my hotel. My heart is beating fast as I open the door and let him in, not really knowing what to say or why he's come here.

"Jimmy, what are...." but he cuts me off.

"I need to talk to you," he says closing the door behind him. "I need to know how you feel."

I turn away and walk to the window. "I don't know what you mean."

He follows me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Yes, you do. Don't play games."

Chess is my game - 3-dimensional chess. It's how I play my life. Always stay seven moves ahead of everyone else. Anticipate every action and reaction so you can counter it and keep yourself safe from emotions. Emotions are the enemy – they cause sadness, they cause rage, they cause harm. I didn't anticipate any of this when I got on that plane. I was just fine the way I was. I didn't need anyone, and I still don't I try and convince myself.

"Okay, I'll go first", he says. "I have thought about you every moment since your birthday. I dreamed of you putting your head on my shoulder and holding you tight while we danced." He grasps my shoulders as he whispers in my ear, "When I took you home and kissed you goodnight I wanted to corner you against the wall until you agreed to let me into your flat". He put both of his hands on the windowsill and now did have me cornered. "I wanted to unzip your dress and slide it off your shoulders", he said, loosening the tie on my robe.

"Jimmy, I need to tell you something".

His fingers trace a line in-between my breasts and down my stomach. I lean back into him as he kisses my neck and continues. "I wanted to caress you, make love to you....make you my willing captive. You see, a part of me wants to possess you.....and I think a part of you wants to be possessed by me."

Turning around to face him, I keep trying to tell him what I need to tell him, but it's as if he can't hear me or I can't speak. His eyes drift downward to my open robe and he slides it off my shoulders. I feel vulnerable but not frightened or embarrassed. His gaze is electric and I find myself unable to look away. Moving close, he kisses me without hesitation, growing more forceful as I respond to him.

I feel dizzy, almost like I'm drugged but I know I'm not. I'm always in control of every aspect of my life but I'm utterly powerless against what I'm feeling. I'm standing, naked, in a hotel room with a man I've known for a week. I know he's kind and compassionate, but instinctively I know he's also dangerous. A flame I'm helplessly drawn to.

He leads me over to the bed taking off his jacket and tossing it on a chair. The power balance is symbolized by our states of dress – me completely nude, he completely clothed. We lay down and he circles my nipples, kissing my neck and whispering things I can't understand. I feel like every nerve in my body is alive for the first time. Getting up he sits on the edge of the bed and undresses. I watch him, occasionally reaching over and rubbing his back.

"Alexia, I'm like a vampire, I have to be invited in – but once I'm invited.....I drink until I'm satisfied," he says almost apologetically.

The thing is I want him to drink me, to consume me. I just want to feel and he is the means by which I can. I touch him and he turns around to look at me. I'm hoping that he will see what I'm feeling in my eyes because I don't think I can express it in words.

"Are you sure," he asks.

"It's the only thing I am sure of but, I need to tell you some....."

His lips cover mine not allowing another word to escape. "Tell me later." His tongue is in my mouth in an instant; touching, searching. His hands explore my body freely and I re-enter my hallucinatory state.

"You hide your vulnerability Alexia," he whispers in my ear. "Why is that?"

"I don't hide it from you," I sigh as he runs a finger down my slit, opening me a little more with each stroke.

My body alternates between feeling feverish and shaking with chills caused by his touch. I don't control it anymore, it controls me...or he controls me. I spread my legs and he slowly slides in one long finger. Reaching inside me, preparing me for what's to come.

He kisses my upper lip and then softly bites my lower one, pulling on it with his teeth, as I run my hands through his hair and along his neck and chest. It's so quiet in the room now; just the sound of our kissing and sighs and moans. He's whispering something but once again, I can't understand words, only the tickle of his soft, warm breath on my ear.

I feel his erection against my thigh but he's not rushing anything. He resumes playing with my nipples – slowly circling and then brushing my hardened tips. Kissing one, he begins to suck it with growing force and then, very gently, bites. My back arches and I let out a moan.

He looks at me with a sly smile. "You like that?"

Through half-opened eyes, I look at him and nod. "I like everything you're doing."

He's doing everything I think. I want to do things to him also, but I don't know what. For now I just need to be responsive to him – to let him know how much I love what he's doing. His hand moves between my legs and he opens me, beginning to caress my clit. I am already so wet and this just makes me even more so.

"Mmm...I love that," I say, determined to make sure he knows how much pleasure he is giving.

He continues to kiss and caress my body, whispering erotic suggestions. I'm so hot I'm sweating and so is he as he gets on top of me and I spread my legs for him. I make one last desperate attempt to speak to him – to tell him.

"Jimmy, I really need to tell you something," I cry.

"I already know," he says as the tip of his penis penetrates me.

The rhythm of his thrust becomes my heartbeat as our bodies begin to move together. I roll my head back and just let everything that's happening flow over me.

"Fuck you're so wonderfully tight, baby," he growls intensifying his push.

His kiss turns to a bite on my neck but the pain only adds to my pleasure.

"Tell me that you love me", he says moving faster.

"I love you Jimmy," I say softly touching his face.

With his arms on either side of my head he gets very close to my face and says again, "Tell me that you love me", with an intensity that startles me.

"I love you, I love you."

He increases the speed and force of his thrust, pushing deep. I'm filled with warm sensations and intense tingling, but I'm also becoming frightened. He had warned me that "he drinks until he's satisfied."

"Tell me that you love me," he says almost angrily. Does he not hear my answer?

"I love you Jimmy. I love you," I almost yell. "Please you're hurting me."

A sound pierces my consciousness.

"What is that?" In my delirious state I make out that it's the sound of a phone ringing. At first it sounds far away but soon I realize it's ringing right next to the bed.

I reach for it in a haze, "Hello?"

"Hi Alexia, its Jimmy...... Alexia? Are you there?"

"Yes," I say looking around at the empty hotel room.