Summer of '07

Drive Home

Chapter 13

February 2019

~TRAVIS~

I rest my head against the window as I slowly recover from my drunken stupor. Everything still feels fuzzy but I don't think I'm as bad as I was a while ago back when we were still at Elijah's place. Speaking of which, I'm actually really starting to feel super guilty about getting so wasted at his house on literally the first night he invited me there. What kind of a person does that? A fucking idiot, that's who. God, I could not be more embarrassed! "Hey, Elijah... I'm really sorry for getting so drunk... I didn't expect—"

"It's okay, man. There was a keg there for a reason."

"I know, I just... feel bad about... making you go through all this for me. You shouldn't have... I could have just called an Uber."

"Nah, you live over an hour away, do you know how much that ride would cost you?"

"That's my problem."

"Hey, I wanted to drive you back, alright? It's not a problem for me at all," he answers, making me a tad bit suspicious over his motives. Why is he doing this for me? What does he have to gain from it?

"Why?" I finally ask him.

"Because... whenever I look at you, I can't help but think about—" For some reason, I'm so confident that I know what he's going to say next that I cut him off a bit too soon.

"That night?" Obviously I'm not being very specific about which night, but I'm sure that he knows what I'm talking about.

"Yeah... I think about it all the time now... and I feel so guilty about it. It was the last time I ever saw you until now and for years, your face that night left such a lasting impression on me." The night that he's talking about actually wasn't the night that I was referring to, but close enough.

"I told you, it's okay. I'm not still angry about it."

"I know, I just... really want to... make it up to you."

I smile at his response and reply, "You wanna be friends again, is that what you're trying to say?"

He just shrugs, "I don't know, man."

I look straight at him for the first time during our whole conversation. For some reason, the way he subconsciously wants to be friends with me again is kinda cute. He's the one who ended it all those years ago, and now he wants it back after all this time? I never imagined this happening, even though I once told him that he would regret it some day. Looks like I wasn't wrong, was I?

"I want us to be friends again, too," I tell him.

"It's not like it'll be the same though," he comments pessimistically. You bet your ass it won't be the same.

"Of course it won't be. So much has changed." For a drunk person I'm surprised that I'm actually able to speak in complete sentences. Crazy shit, I guess I'm not as bad as I thought.

"Everything's changed," Elijah mumbles. "And it's all my fault."

"Stop blaming yourself. We were both young and stupid back then. It's not all on you."

"Yeah, I know, it's on Heather too... for putting that stupid idea into our heads."

I think back to that night at the lake when we went skinny dipping with Heather, and I recall how awkward the whole situation was. That crazy bitch was just going back and forth between the two of us, fucking with our emotions and pretending as if it was a healthy idea to enter a three way relationship. We were all so young, still trying to figure out who the fuck we were. That whole ordeal was the root cause of the destruction of my friendship with Elijah... and I'll always blame myself for getting pulled into her little web.

In the corner of my eye, I can see him taking occasional glances at me. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about her... and the night that it all started..."

"The night at the lake? When she kissed the both of us?"

"Yeah." Fuck, I'm starting to remember how I felt that night. I remember feeling so uncomfortable as I watched Heather and Elijah make out. Both of them naked as I was the only one still wearing my swimming trunks. I remember how Elijah opened his eyes as he kissed her and stared back at me. The whole situation sounds even more fucking awkward now that I think back to it, than it did back then. "Wish it hadn't happened," I mutter beneath my breath.

"Why?"

"Just cuz. I wish we hadn't gone to camp that summer either."

He doesn't say anything and silence quickly befalls upon our conversation. It's not until a while after, Elijah finally gives an overdue response, "So do I." For some reason, that comment makes me want to expand on that conversation.

"Are we ever going to talk about... what happened?"

"A lot of things happened... how am I supposed to know what event you're talking about?" I know he fucking knows what I'm talking about. He's just trying to avoid it, as I would've expected.

"You know what I'm talking about... the whole reason our friendship crashed and burned." I intentionally avoid being specific in the fear of upsetting him, even though he knows exactly what I'm referring to.

"Look, I know you wanna talk about it... but I just really don't think there's anything for us to talk about. It was a one-time thing that happened when we were kids... things are different now. I mean, it's not gonna have any effect on us now so why discuss it when it doesn't change anything?"

"You're right. It was stupid of me to even—"

"No, you're not stupid. I know how badly it affected you... it affected me too. But I'm over it."

I can see how he very cleverly dodged that conversation. I guess the fucker is still too afraid to talk about it. A lot happened that summer that can't just be forgotten and I will find a way to get him to admit it, one way or another.