for him

never mine

i don't even know how
to explain the way i'm feeling
i'm mourning something
that was never mine
something that i will never know
something that i will never feel
and like i've lost something
that i didn't have
but it hurts
it hurts in a way that nothing has
hurt before
it's an ache in my chest
and a feeling that nothing
will be the ever be the same

i just wanted you to be mine
i wanted to show you
how special you are
and how much better you deserve
than what you've been given
but i don't think i'll get the chance now