Special

Chapter 17

I could feel the stares the moment I entered school. Two girls fleetingly glimpsed at me, murmuring something to each other. Heads turned as I walked down the hallway. Was there something stuck on me? I rubbed my face and combed my hair with my hand.

I was amongst the first in Chemistry class. Mr Cleary was busy erasing the blackboard when the rest of the students flooded in.

'Have the psychiatrists figured out what's wrong with you yet?' Izzy mocked when the adroit walked past my desk.

Christie and Rory giggled. Allie was silent.

'I'd be screwed up too if I had poop shoved up my bum and I was so pathetic my little brother put me in ICU,' Izzy said for everyone to hear.

The back row cackled.

'Quiet down,' Mr Cleary said.

Extensive meta-analysis confirmed a two-way linkage between gut health and the operation of the central nervous system. It also identified differences in gut function primarily found in people with ADSD. The overgrowth of bad bacteria in the gut inevitably led to an overproduction of by-products, including toxins. These could make the gut lining more permeable. Toxins, by-products, and even undigested food could then get into the bloodstream and travel to the brain. In a child under three years old, whose brain was at the height of development, the presence of these chemicals could impair neurodevelopment, leading to ADSD.

Before Dr Graham's treatment, I underwent a series of treatments aimed at improving my Severe AD through the regulation of my gut microbiota, including taking probiotics, prebiotics, changing my diet to gluten and casein-free, and a Faecal Microbiota Transplant or FMT.

The FMT required the administration of a donated stool sample from someone with a healthy diverse community of gut bacteria to a patient with an overgrowth of bad bacteria via a faecal enema. In my case, the donor was Mum. The thought of it made me cringe every time. It was an experience I would take to my grave. With the cat out of the bag, how would I continue to show my face at school?

'Earth to Hope,' Mrs McKinley called, handing me an English exercise sheet. 'Are you with us?'

I nodded, receiving the paper. My body was present, but my mind wasn't. Izzy and some of the kids lived in my head rent free, their taunts on repeat. Have the psychiatrists figured out what's wrong with you? I'd be screwed up too if I had poop shoved up my bum.

I clenched my left hand, momentarily escaping my ceaseless thoughts. Other than the doctors and my family, the only other person who knew about my FMT procedures was Allie.

The whole school now knew about my most embarrassing treatment. They knew I had been to see a psychologist. They knew the real story behind my broken foot, but none of it bugged me as much as the fact that Allie told. She broke my trust. What else had she told the adroit? Why? Did she hate me that much?

I dragged my feet through the hallway, dreading the inevitable torment when I noticed Allie and Izzy walk into the girl's room. I followed them.

Allie rinsed her hands in the sink when I entered.

'You told about my treatments?' I demanded.

Allie looked up. She stared at me in the reflection of the mirror in front of her, but she didn't respond.

Izzy exited one of the stalls, washing her hands in a sink next to Allie.

My heart raced, my voice trembled as I spoke. 'Are you that desperate to fit in?'

Allie closed the tap, turning to face me. 'It just slipped out, okay. It's no big deal.'

No big deal? My voice shook as I said, 'I never thought you'd talk about me behind my back. What's it gonna be next? You also gonna start calling me names as well?'

'I gotta get to class,' Allie said before exiting the bathroom.

I swallowed hard to clear the lump in my throat. I fought hard to restrain the tears forming in my eyes.

I flinched as Izzy flicked her wet hands in my face, spraying me with droplets of water.

'Out of the way, Hopeless!' she mocked as she manoeuvred around me to get to the paper towel dispenser on the wall beside me.

I remained frozen in place unable to move, anchored by the weight of Allie's betrayal.

Cody entertained Mum and I with an anecdote from school while we sat down for dinner. I couldn't follow along if I tried. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of my own lacklustre experience at school, which was quite possibly one of the worst days of my life. I picked at my food, barely touching it.

'How was your day?' Mum asked.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't realise she was talking to me.

'Hope?'

'Yeah,' I finally answered.

'How was your day?'

'It was okay,' I answered.

'Just ok?'

'Yeah.'

Mum didn't enquire any further.

I continued to play with my food.

'Who wants dessert?' Mum asked.

'Me!' Cody enthused.

'All right,' Mum told him, 'help me clear up these plates first.'

Mum didn't have to ask twice. A gust of wind swept the room. Motion blur trails led towards the kitchen. Within seconds, the dining table was cleared. The only piece of cutlery left was the fork in my hand. Using a super-speed ability, Cody had cleared up the table.

'All done!' he exclaimed, triumphantly out of breath. He was back in his chair, his hair dishevelled as though he'd been dragged through a tornado.

'One dessert coming up!' Mum enthused.

She looked at me with concern before heading into the kitchen.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. I read, switched off the lights and closed my eyes, I even tried counting sheep. As hard as I tried, I couldn't fall asleep.

I looked at my alarm clock. It was past midnight.

I turned on the nightlight and climbed out of bed, rummaging through my nightstand for some painkillers. Perhaps the mellow high could numb me enough to fall asleep. I took one tablet and crawled back into bed. Within a few minutes, I was drowsy. I closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to dreamland.

***

The next day wasn't any different. I received overt stares and snickering the moment I walked into school, which wasn't surprising. It would take at least a week for news to spread and another week to die out or at least be old enough not to attract so much attention.

My life became a vicious cycle of looking forward to lunch so I could retreat to the barren sports field where I would barely touch my food.

After lunch, I would look forward to the solitude of my room.

I felt drained and heavy half the time. Unable to concentrate, I fell behind in school.

Falling asleep became a nightly battle. My mind endlessly raced, only to find peace with the aid of one or sometimes two painkillers.